Primos Page #4

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-Damn good movie.

-No, ''The Godfather'' was in '72.

''ApocaIypse Now'' was in '79.

Come in the water, it's great!

No, I'm prone to ear infections!

Yes?

Hello?

Hello?

l can't hear anything.

Who s this?

Get a grip...

Cousin! Cousin!

Musketeerios to the rescue!

Cousin!

Musketeerios to the rescue!

Cousin...!

Don't do thIs to me, you traItor!

Don't do thIs to me, you traItor!

We found the vdeo

you are about to see in the attic.

Whenever Danny gets scared at nght

he watches it

because he says it helps him

go to bed happier.

And now the Backstreet Cousns!

-Damn!

-Oh my God, how pathetic.

The Backstreet Cousins!

This song s dedicated to Martina.

l hope she's my grlfriend every summer

forthe rest of my lfe.

Is that reaIIy them, Mom?

-Yes, it is. It's reaIIy them.

-Turn it off.

No, Ieave It on.

-Which one is you?

-The one on the right.

That doesn't Iook Iike you.

It Iooks Iike someone eIse.

It is someone eIse.

Back then I had baIIs Iike Spartacus.

Yes?

HoId on a second, l can't hear you.

Yes, what is it?

No, l dIdn't caII you.

Who are you?

I must have diaIed the wrong number.

Okay, bye.

You can borrow it

for a IittIe whiIe, okay?

l feeI Iike I'm missing

a vitaI organ without it.

90 per minute. Is that a Iot?

No, kids are fine up to 220.

How many can I get If I run?

You'd better not.

It's a diaboIicaI machine.

-l'm going to try it.

-No runnIng...

This is the first thing

I shouId have done.

Take your hand, an evening stroII,

after spending the day together,

watching the Backstreet Cousins...

After caIIing your ex-girIfriend

in desperation.

What?

You called your ex-girIfrIend.

No.

With my cell phone.

At 14:
35.

I did caII her.

I dId.

A momentary Iapse.

You caught me.

These things happen.

But I'm fIne now.

I'm great here.

How did you know I caIIed my ex?

Did you caII her?

No, she caIIed me

to see who had caIIed her.

What did you teII her?

That you're fine, that you're over her

and you've found your true Iove.

-She was very happy for us both.

-Great.

WeII, for the three of us.

I mentioned I had a son.

I toId her I caIIed the wrong number

and said I was sorry.

What?

I prelove you.

I can't say I Iove you because

it's too soon and you'II get spooked.

More than you already are, I mean.

So I preIove you.

I prelove you very much.

You're immature

way beyond your age.

-Hitting it off, are we?

-Yeah, right.

Yesterday one woman had me down,

today two.

I'm not cut out for Iove.

Motherf***er!

-You drunk asshoIe!

-Watch your mouth!

What did you say about my daughter?

Take it easy.

He fIies off the handIe.

We're on our way

to see your daughter!

You motherf***er!

-See? I said not to run.

-Let's get out of here.

Wait, wait.

The ship scares you?

Then we won't ride it.

It scares me too.

-l want to go home.

-Running won't heIp.

Nothing can happen to us

if we're just standing here.

We're fine.

The smeII of churros,

the sound of rifIes firing,

women shouting...

PeopIe with stuffed animaIs...

You want one?

I'II get you one,

I have great aim.

Everything is fine here.

No, no, no...

Keep drinking. You're in deniaI.

I know what you're thinking.

That everybody in town has had sex

with your daughter. But no.

WIth her looks, her cIients must be

first cIass. Not everyone can afford it.

So I shouId onIy punch out rich guys?

ExactIy.

Damn it, Bachi.

You were the greatest.

You are.

You're great, aren't you?

-Are you number one?

-Yeah.

What happened?

When did everything turn to sh*t?

I used to look at you...

with your video store,

a wife who Ioved you,

a beautifuI daughter,

an awesome fishing boat...

I even remember the first movie

I rented from you. ''ThesIs.''

I said, ''Forget it,

Spanish movies are Iame.''

And you sIapped me and saId,

''This guy Amenbar is a genius.

He's going to be great.''

He made his first movie

when he was 23.

When I was 23,

I opened the store, got married

-and had a baby.

-You were the Amenbar of ComiIlas.

You were my idoI.

I wanted to be just Iike you.

AII that is ''Gone with the Wind.''

CIark GabIe, Vivien Leigh.

Directed by Victor FIeming. 1939.

My Iife story.

You got a bite.

Look at him. He's mine.

Here we go.

Come to Daddy.

Jesus, the bastard is bigger

than my pecker.

Son of a b*tch...

F***ing rod.

The reeI is stuck.

AIl the rings are tangIed.

I had him. He was huge.

I had him, dIdn't I?

That's when it happens.

That's when it all turns to sh*t.

You think you have It aII.

You feeI Iike a superhero.

But you're reaIly an idIot

and you're out of controI.

You come home one day and she's gone.

You think she'II put up with

anything you do.

That her Iife revoIves around you and...

''Gone with the Wind.''

Don't worry about it.

You can't get aII upset

-over a fish.

-No.

It's no big deaI.

You want that fish?

-Do you reaIly want it...?

-No.

-You want that fish?

-I don't want it.

If you reaIIy want it,

I'II get it for you.

Damn straight.

Bachi, no!

The Atlantic Ocean is freezing!

I'm your fish, Sardine.

Catch me!

Bastard!

Last year we were on the prate ride

and suddenly he started sayng,

''Mom, l can't breathe.''

He wanted to get off

but it was too dangerous.

He cried and screamed

that he was dying.

l got them to stop the rde,

we rushed to the clinic...

He vomited before he got there,

that calmed hm down a bit.

Was it his first tIme on the ride?

He'd been on it eight times

the day before.

-And did something different happen?

-I guess.

The other tImes it wasn't with me.

He rode with somebody eIse.

Somebody eIse?

Some guy off the street?

Somebody I invited to spend

the weekend with us.

You mean somebody eIse,

somebody eIse?

Somebody eIse, somebody eIse.

And Danny didn't get aIong

with that somebody eIse?

No, Danny got aIong great wIth him.

Maybe too weIl.

Because after he Ieft

he asked me,

''Mom, is he my dad?''

And I said,

''No, son. He's not your dad.''

It was the fIrst time

he ever asked me about him.

Where is that somebody eIse now?

I imagine with somebody eIse.

So Danny had an anxiety attack because

somebody eIse wasn't coming back

and he'd have to take care

of his bitter, soIitary

and not mincing words beautifuI mother

for the rest of her Iife.

Yeah, it sounds Iike ''Psycho.''

Hey, one thIng.

Has Danny asked you

if I'm his dad?

No, he asked me if Miguel was.

That's IogicaI.

Here, it gets chiIIy at night.

Good night.

Good night.

I'm never coId at night.

Shut up.

Hi.

Remember me?

Sure. Best sex I ever had.

Huge boner.

No, damn it.

I used to come every summer.

But it's been years.

You were madIy in Iove with me.

You wanted to be my girIfriend.

You foIIowed me everywhere I went.

You were a paIn in the ass.

But I was 9 years oIder than you.

To me you were just a kid.

JuIian, JuIianuco.

Your father used to caII me

Sardine.

That's right, Sardine!

Wow, Iong time no see!

Damn, you Iook pretty ugIy

with that moustache.

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