Private Lessons Page #4

Ouch!

Oh, sorry.

Philly, turn on the lights, will you?

Excuse me, but am I hurting you?

Miss Mallow, are you okay?

Miss Mallow?

Miss Mallow?

Oh, no.

Miss Mallow?

Oh, my God!

She's dead!

Philly, what is it?

What is it?

- What is it?

- I killed--

- Calm down.

- I killed her.

- Philly, what are you saying?

- I killed Miss Mallow!

Come on.

She's dead.

I want to know how

this happened, Philly.

I want to know what filthy thing

you were doing. I want you to tell me.

It must have been her heart.

She said she had a weak heart.

Operator, get me the police.

Don't!

- Please don't tell them I did it!

- Hold please.

What do you want me to tell them?

That I did it?

Or that she did it herself?

They're not going to believe that,

you know.

Don't tell them anything!

You don't have to call them!

Please hang up the phone, Lester!

I'll do anything! Please just help me!

Very well.

May I suggest we begin

by covering her up?

Perhaps we should put her somewhere where

it's cool so she doesn't rot too quickly.

What are you gonna do with

all this food? Won't it spoil?

Would you rather the food spoil

or Miss Mallow spoil?

Well, that should be sufficient.

Let's pop her in, shall we?

On three.

One...two...three.

Like a sack of potatoes.

Mash her down.

Those Europeans never did fit in.

We can't just leave her where

she is for too long, you know.

Your father will be home

in a week or two.

Suppose he takes it into his mind to

get some lamb chops from his freezer?

I think your father,

from what I know of him,

would be quite disappointed

to find Miss Mallow

instead of lamb chops

in his freezer, don't you?

That's not necessary.

Perhaps not.

But it is worthy

of your consideration, Philly.

Don't you think your father

would be more than disappointed

to find Miss Mallow all frozen,

rock hard in his freezer

instead of some nice

baby lamb chops?

Aren't you gonna help?

It's not my body.

Come on, Lester.

Can't you help me?

Boy, this is really hard.

Yes. Well, you've heard

the expression "frozen stiff."

This is ridiculous.

Philly, let's flip her over.

Here. On the count

of three. This way.

One...two...three.

Got it?

- Barely.

- Good.

Are you okay?

Yes, actually,

I quite enjoyed it, Philly.

I'm having the time of my life.

Okay.

Are you ready?

Good.

Yes, what is it now, Philly?

It's Miss Mallow!

She's not there!

She's not in her grave!

She's disappeared!

- What are you talking about?

- She's not there.

The grave's empty.

I saw it.

I'm warning you, Philly.

If this is your idea

of some sort of childish prank,

I, for one, am not amused.

But it's not!

I will not deal with this

as anything other than a joke.

Ouch!

See what he wants.

Yes?

I found this note for you

in your flower garden, Philly.

Let's see it.

"The flower you two buried

had to be transplanted."

"Leave $10,000

in the flowerbed tonight,

and it will be returned

soon afterwards."

"P.S. I hear the

police like flowers too."

The gardener.

You'd be surprised

at the number of people

who go poking through the grounds

of the wealthy at night, my boy.

So, what's next?

Gosh, Lester, I don't know.

Lester, I just can't think of

any other way to get the money.

Neither can I.

Lester, you think

we should be doing this?

Well, Philly, do you

want Miss Mallow back?

- Of course.

- Then open the safe and get the 10,000.

Who knows? Your father may

not even notice it's missing.

Fat chance.

Do you mind?

Of course not.

What are we gonna tell my father when he

comes home and discovers $10,000 missing?

What are you going to tell him when Miss

Mallow's remains turn up at the police station?

Hey, Lester, look at this.

Good work, Philly.

What are you doing here now?

Why aren't you at the hotel?

Because I was sick of staying

at that sleazy place.

Nicole, he'll see you.

Well, I don't care.

I want him to see me.

What is the matter with you?

What the hell is going on, Nicole?

A belated case

of conscience maybe?

Well, that's very sweet.

Look, the old man

may not be a prize,

but the kid doesn't deserve

to have this done to him.

You've got a crush

on a 15-year-old boy.

Oh, shut up.

Tell me...

when you slept together,

did he wet the bed?

I'm warning you. If you don't shut up,

I'm going straight to--

What are you gonna do? Tell me

what you're gonna do, sweet pants.

All right, I'll tell you.

You're gonna do precisely

what I tell you to do.

Right?

Otherwise,

I'll have to tell

the immigration people

that you're not only an illegal alien,

but a felon.

A felon?

Yes.

Seducing a minor--

that's a criminal offense,

in case you didn't know.

Don't be frightened.

Please don't run away.

I'm sorry, Philly.

You let me think

that you were dead--

that I had killed you.

Why?

Why'd you do it?

Was it just for the money?

Lester forced me into this mess.

What'd he do,

put a gun to your head?

He threatened to tell immigration

that I was working here illegally.

- Big deal.

- It was a big deal for me.

I could have been deported.

I had to do it.

Don't you see?

You got your money.

Why don't you just take it and go away?

I'm on your side, Philly.

I thought you loved me.

I don't trust you anymore.

All right,

then I'll go to the police.

No.

Well, what do you

want me to do then?

I don't know.

But I don't want you arrested.

Where's my father's $10,000?

Lester has the money.

Well, can you help me

try and get it back?

Of course

I'll help you, Philly.

Dad's gonna be home day after tomorrow.

Gonna have to hurry.

First we have to find

a place to hide you.

- Where?

- I don't know.

Sherman's potting shed.

I used to hide there all the time.

Maybe we'd better hurry

to put some pressure on dear Lester.

Yeah. I've got some ideas

about that already.

Good.

I missed you, Miss Mallow.

But we came here to ask you a favor.

Anything you need.

We just got blackmailed

for $10,000.

Have you talked to the police?

We can't go to the police.

Oh, Mr. Travis,

won't you please help us?

You need a policeman,

not a tennis instructor.

Exactly. But we need you,

not a real cop.

You're joking.

Me, a policeman?

This guy is a real bully

and he scares easily.

So all you have to do

is act like a tough cop.

- But I don't know how to act like a cop.

- Just be hard and tough.

And maybe we could watch Dirty Harry

on television tonight.

Hi. I'm with the police department.

I'm Detective Jack Travis.

- You Fillmore?

- This is the Fillmore residence,

but I am not Mr. Fillmore,

if that's what you're asking.

I'd like to ask a few questions.

- No.

- Thank you.

Now see here.

You.

I really must object to your barging in here

without so much as a--

- Who are you?

- Me?

- I'm the houseman and chauffeur.

- Name?

My name?

My name is Lester Lewis.

But I really must object, sir.

I believe--

- Yes?

- Shut up, Lester.

Now then, Lester.

Is there a Miss Nicole Mallow here?

There is. That is, she used to be here.

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