Problem Child Page #6

Women just love single male parents.

If you had a kid like Junior

the women would be flocking over you.

Did you say 15 years?

Wait.

Stop it!

Look at all the stuff I brought for our trip.

I got my ammo. There's guns,

hand grenades and even dynamite.

These are toys. What are you

jerking me around for? This is kiddies' stuff!

What did you do that for?

Don't we need supplies?

What? I'm not working with you!

But I thought we were gonna be partners.

I thought you liked me.

I don't like no one. I work alone.

Goodbye, Junior! Goodbye, Flo!

Oh, I am so sad to see you go.

A hundred thousand dollars?

You can keep 'em!

Good morning! Hello, sunshine!

This was supposed to be our honeymoon!

You said you loved me!

You called me a little kumquat.

This is our honeymoon, you moron!

Moron? Moron?

I went to Radcliffe! I'm not a bimbo

you can tie up and do what you want with!

- You shut up!

- I will not!

Let me out of here! You stupid piece of...

You're gonna regret this!

I'm gonna be waiting and when I'm done

with you you're gonna be singing falsetto!

He-e-e-ere's Daddy!

Goodbye, Junior!

Adisl Hasta luegol

Sayonara!

Yeah!

Yes, that's very creative, Junior.

Yeah, right on the money.

He liked me.

All this time he actually liked me.

ote for Big Ben. Here, read this.

You can't go in. Your father's making

a television appearance for his campaign.

Dad, I gotta talk to you!

- What are you doing? I'm about to go on air!

- Florence and Junior have been kidnapped.

Five minutes.

- I need $100,000.

- Are you insane?

That kid is a monster and your wife is

the original pain in the ass. It's for the best.

- Are you gonna lend me the money?

- No, I'm not.

You work for me. I know what you get.

You're a credit risk.

Then I quit as your son!

Just get out of here.

I got a goddamn campaign to win.

Your campaign,

the one thing you do care about.

Why don't you tell the voters

what you really plan on doing with this town?

I don't give a rat's ass for the voters.

- We're ready with that live feed.

- All I care about is power and money.

America for the Americansl

You believe that nonsense?

I'd sell my soul to the Japanese

if they'd make me an offer.

Don't come sucking round me

if you want something.

The only thing you'll get from me is this.

- Hello?

- You got the money?

Yeah.

Good. Bring it to the circus.

I'll be waiting at the tiger cage.

Roy! I need your car.

- Forget it. We're going hunting.

- So am I.

You can't borrow it. We're all packed up

and ready to go. What are you doing?

You're not going anywhere, buddy.

Wait a minute.

Great, the joke's over. Come on back.

What do you think you're doing?

Hey! Hey, get back here, you!

- What is he doing?

- Get back here!

Gee, I've never been to the circus before.

- I'd sure like to try a swizzle dog.

- I hate circuses.

Nothing worse than a bunch of clowns

trying to make you laugh.

- Look, a giraffe!

- Look, a fist!

Clowns.

Help! Help, let me out of here!

I know you're out there! Help!

Why isn't anybody doing anything?

I know you're out there!

Let's go see the bearded lady.

I seen too many of them in prison.

Stop bugging me or you're gonna get hurt.

What did you say, you bow-tied freak?

Let him go!

Forget it, big daddy!

This is my show. I'm calling the shots.

OK, we make a switch on the count of three.

You toss the money and I release Junior.

Fine.

One, two, three!

- Hey!

- Sucker!

- Give me the boy!

- Why? He wants to go with me.

How about it, kid? We'll go on a crime spree.

We'll terrorise the whole state.

We'll eat smiley pies until we drop.

What do you say?

Come on, let's have some kicks. Tell-a-me.

Tell-a-me.

Yeah, kicks, good idea.

- I'll tear you apart!

- Not while I'm around!

Run, Junior, run!

My money!

Hold it!

The astounding Aslanian Family Tumblersl

Excuse me, lady!

Ye-es!

I'll get you now!

Look out below!

- Junior, are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.

- You called me Dad.

- Yeah, I guess I did.

Stay away from...

- He's getting away!

- Nobody messes with the Healys! Come on!

There he is!

There's nothing like

going for an outing with your father.

- Look what I found!

- That's Roy's. Give me that.

Why? You can't drive and shoot.

- What do we do?

- I got an idea.

- Go get him, Dad!

- Faster, son, faster!

Attaboy!

Shoot out his tyres, Dad!

Don't mess with me!

I demand you stop this car!

# He's the wild one #

What the hell is going on?

- I want a divorce!

- Shut up, Flo!

Wha...!

Stop! Hit the brakes!

Now what's going on? What's that smell?

Well, Flo always said she wanted to travel.

- Come on, let's go home.

- Move it.

You little traitor!

No!

No!

Daddy!

Daddy, please don't go!

I'm sorry for all those bad things I did!

If you come back, I promise

I'll never do anything naughty again.

Daddy, come back! I love you!

I love you, too, son.

Dad? I don't believe it.

I don't believe it either.

- Are you gonna be OK?

- Yeah.

But the prune's had it.

- Lay still. Ambulance is on the way.

- I'll be all right.

He got me in the prune.

You're not gonna hold me to all that stupid

junk I said about being nice, are you?

Of course not. I just want you to be yourself.

Some people never learn.

Come on, son.

Come on.

Why does this guy love me?

Why do parents love any kid?

It's one of those answers we'll never know

like "How high is up?", "Why is the sky blue?"

And "Whatever happened to Mrs Healy?"

- Your pig's making funny noises.

- Big Miguel, he's got a bad stomach.

Oh, my God!

# Na-na-na-na-na

Na-na-na-na-na

# N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n

# Whoa-o-o-o-o

# Who wants to grow up?

Who wants responsibility?

# O-o-o-e-e-e

# Who wants to show up

At work until you're 93?

# Oh, no, not me

# Now, everybody says you're running wild

# Your teacher's calling you a problem child

# You're just a kid now

But soon you'll be a king of hearts

# Oh, yeah

# That girl next door

Might turn into a work of art

# Some people sayin'put the boy on trial

# He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile

# Oh, yeah

# You make us crazy

You make us smile

# Some day you'll grow up, boy

And you'll change your style

# First you'll be married

And kids after a while

# And one of them might wanna be

A problem child, yeah

# You make us crazy

You make us smile

# Some day you'll grow up, boy

And you'll change your style

# First you'll be married

And kids after a while

# And one of them might wanna be

A... Oh, baby

# Who wants to grow up?

Who wants responsibility?

# O-o-o-e-e-e

# Who wants to show up

At work until you're 93?

# Oh, no, not me

# Now, everybody says you're running wild

# Your teacher's calling you a problem child

# Oh, yeah

# You're just a kid now

But soon you'll be a king of hearts

# That girl next door

Might turn into a work of art

# Some people sayin'put the boy on trial

# He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah... #

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