Project X Page #2

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- I'll look at them this afternoon.

- Yes, sir.

I would just like to thank you

for this opportunity.

And I hope that I can be of some

real benefit to the program.

Good.

Woman over P.A.:
Airman Lucas,

report to the microbiology lab.

Just call me Krieg.

We're all on the same team here.

Those are

fighter simulations?

Yeah, a strafing run

over a South Pacific atoll.

- Wow.

- Yeah.

Well, the pilots have to be

trained to handle

all sorts of different terrain

and weather conditions.

This is gonna be

a whole new experience.

- I just hope I'm up to it.

- Don't worry about it.

Yeah, but you're talking about

jets and bombers.

I've only flown bug smashers.

I've got a lot to learn.

Not you-- them.

Man over P.A.:

Indicated air speed-- 330.

Mach .98,

minus two degrees.

We've got number two

rolling 520 degrees per second.

He's out of the envelope.

Neutralize your trim, man.

Redepart your pilot

on a standard landing.

- Okay.

- He's back in.

Man over P.A.:
Number five,

restabilize your approach

into its landing pattern.

Okay, this is where

we keep the troops.

We put the new recruits in here until

they're processed into the program.

At that point we move them over

to their permanent cages--

- Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.

- What?

I'm supposed to be in the Experimental

Pilot Performance Project.

Yeah, that's right.

These are monkeys.

I don't know anything

about monkeys.

- ( chittering )

- Krieg:
Sure, you do.

You're a primate yourself, right?

Am I right? Yes.

Okay, first things first.

White neckbands denote freshmen,

blue-- juniors, and red-- seniors,

kind of like college.

( monkey whooping )

Okay, here's your leash.

Here's your clipboard.

Okay, now let's go through the whole

procedure from the beginning, okay?

We'll start with the chimp

in cage number 14.

Put his leash on him and weigh him

and put him in cage number five--

that one right over there.

I'll be back in a minute.

And if you need any help,

just ask him, okay?

Watts, please hang up your key

like everybody else. Thank you.

( jet passes overhead )

Hey there, fella.

( monkey growls )

Okay, let's go.

- ( monkey grunts )

- ( door closes )

I wouldn't mess with him

if I were you.

That guy would like to rip your arm off

and beat you half to death with it.

Sergeant Krieger wants me

to weigh him.

Krieger don't know sh*t

about these animals.

- I'm Isaac Robertson.

- Jimmy Garrett.

Jimmy, pound for pound,

these guys are

seven times as strong as we are.

I think that you should start

with this little fella here.

He looks just as scared

as you do.

Be a little careful.

He can bite.

Okay.

Hey. How are you doing?

Uh, no funny stuff, okay?

Go ahead.

Look, look, I know that

you would probably rather be

climbing up a tree, right?

I'd rather be flying a plane.

We don't have any choice

in the matter though, right?

So what do you say?

Huh?

Be a good boy, okay?

Be a good little chimp.

Come here.

Sh*t.

Hey.

( clapping )

( chuckling )

Okay. Good boy.

Jimmy:
Come on, go up.

Pull it back.

Pull it back.

Pull it back. Pull it back.

Robertson:
Pull it back slowly.

Pull it back.

- That's it.

- Come up.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Whoa, whoa.

Pull up. Pull it.

- Come on. Easy.

- Sh*t.

You want it smooth.

You want it smooth, man. Come on.

- Pull up, pull up.

- Argh.

( chuckles ) That happens

to everybody the first time.

Good, good.

Good boy.

Good boy.

Good boy.

- Good boy.

- Give him a raisin.

- I feel like an idiot.

- ( chuckles )

Jimmy, it's gonna take him a couple of

days just to get the feel of this thing.

- Let's try again.

- Okay.

Give me your finger.

Now push this button.

- Robertson:
Throttle forward.

- Okay.

Robertson:
Good. Now both hands

on the wheel. Right, uh-huh.

Now we're gonna taxi into position.

- Increasing power.

- Easy. Easy.

- Increasing power.

- That's good, hold the wheel.

Good. Now you got

takeoff speed.

- ( beeping )

- Good boy. Uh-huh.

Now you're gonna straighten it out

and gonna pull it back.

- Straighten it out. Straighten it out.

- That's good.

- Pull back.

- That's good. Now up.

Now go up. Go up.

Go up. Up, up.

Go up. Up.

Up, up.

Pull back.

Pull back. Pull back.

That's good.

What's he doing?

I don't know, man.

I mean, I've never seen this before.

Woman:
Hi, Sergeant.

How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

- Aren't you sweet?

( whimpering )

- What's wrong with him?

- Uh, you got me, man.

- Grab the wheel, man.

- Come on, easy.

- Hey.

- Get him. Whoa.

- Hey, come back here.

- Go get him.

- Come back here.

- Get him, Jimmy.

Hey, hey, hey, come here.

Come on.

Come here. Come here.

- It's okay. Come here.

- Man over P.A.:
Number four,

please return your pilot

to your station.

Airman Garrett,

what's the problem here?

Oh, nothing, sir.

He was doing fine, and he just--

I'm sorry.

Good boy.

Turn your head this way.

Hey. Hey.

What the hell do you think

you're doing?

( monkey blows raspberry )

( blows raspberry )

What's happening, Watts?

Badness, man, total.

See, the moon is

in the seventh house,

but I am still knocking

on the sixth door.

Robertson:
That's because of all that

junk food you eat all the time.

It rots your brain.

JT, JT, JT, congratulations.

You graduated.

Give me your hand.

Now give me your neck.

Where are you taking him?

Hey, dude, you see

that red collar?

Now that red collar signifies

that JT is a graduate.

Now, son, you are

in the undergraduate program.

Come on, Watts,

he just asked a question.

Well, what is his clearance?

What is his security clearance?

What is his clearance?

What is your clearance?

Who made you

lord of the apes?

Come on.

Come on, JT.

Yeah, let's go, you and I,

While the evening is spread out

against the sky

Like a patient etherized

on a table.

Don't ask, "What is it?"

Come on, let's go

and make our visit.

In the rooms

the women come and go...

Robertson:

Come on, smile.

Come on.

Can you smile for me?

Come on, smile.

Come on.

Yeah, I knew it.

You're an old circus chimp,

aren't you?

Jimmy:

How can you tell?

Robertson:
After a while

you just get a feeI for it.

Can I see your cigarette?

Take it. Go on.

Good boy. Good boy.

Yep, a circus chimp.

Now, they can be the meanest.

I figure they've been worked so hard

all their lives,

they don't want anyone to tell them

what to do anymore.

Jimmy:
He loves it.

Robertson:

It's an evil addiction.

Lock up for me, Jimmy?

Jimmy:
Yeah, no problem.

See you tomorrow.

Good night, man.

Virgil, huh?

You don't look like a Virgil.

I think this is yours.

See you later, alligator.

( insects chirping )

( TV playing )

Woman on TV:
Channel 11 , serving

the Lockridge Everglades area.

Man on TV:
The Buccaneers

brought a sense of pride

to fans in the bay area

with a new stadium

and three seasons

that took them

to the playoffs.

People like Steve Wilson

have shared that pride

by being

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