Puccini for Beginners Page #2

finishing my dissertation.

So, you're a socialist?

I don't think there are

any socialists anymore.

Do you like opera?

Very much...actually, yes.

- Really?

- Aha.

You're attractive, you know that?

Pulchritudeness?

Are you flirting with me?

Are you flirting with me?

Flirting? Me?

What do you think I am?

You're a man.

I'm a lesbian.

You just read my book, that's all.

You and about...ten other people,

all of them with the same last name.

How about a cab?

What subject?

Philosophy.

- What?

- So sad!

A romantic...

Yeah, let's go. Alright.

Don't you have to be anywhere?

- No. Not tonight, not really.

- Great.

Why don't you come home with me?

I haven't been

with a man in years.

I think maybe you just

go to sleep and pass out.

No, I don't think so.

Don't put me in a cab!

I'm drunk.

When a lesbian propositions you,

you should be flattered,

you should be overjoyed.

Are you married or something?

What are you gonna have, Philip?

I think I'll have a steak,

and...a salad, and mashed potatoes.

That sounds good.

Something, yeah.

I'm gonna be sick.

I didn't throw up on him,

just near him, OK?

My head hurts.

You have a humilliation hangover.

Greg's married, what a schmuck!

I have an audition today,

how do I look?

You look great.

Wait! Is Philip married?

We talked about Kant's

cathegorical imperative.

Uh, you did not! Kant?

That sounds suspicious.

Men are dogs.

- What are you doing today?

- Obsessing over Samantha?

No movies, no bookstores.

Hi. It's me again.

Ticket for one.

Cute blonde in there. Same movie.

Oh, please...

I told you she was cute.

Are you OK?

God, that was really sad!

It was called "Holiday",

for God's sakes!

Totally sad.

- You want a tissue?

- Sure.

Sentimentalists!

I always cry at old movies,

even when they're funny.

- Anything in black and white, I'm a goner.

- Me too.

You know Katherine Hepburn

was considered box-office poison

when this film came out?

Really?

- And "Bringing Up Baby" was a flop.

- It was?

I love that movie!

I don't know why

I'm looking at my watch.

I don't have anywhere to be.

I think your watch is wrong.

It says 10 AM and

it's about 4 PM right now.

See, that's the other thing.

This watch doesn't even work.

That's another reason why

I don't know why I'm looking at it!

Do you wanna get like,

some coffee or something?

Sure! I'd love to.

- I'm Grace, by the way.

- Allegra.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

You don't seem like

an investment banker.

You're not even wearing

a watch that works...

But, do you know about Kaldor's theory

of circular and cumulative causation

and its impact on the global economy?

- No.

- Well, I do.

But...I really wanna be a glass blower.

A glass blower?

You work in what's called a hot shop,

and you have to hold

these long heavy steel rods,

and you put them in a

one billion degree oven,

and then you wind up with this

delicate little thing, like a...

paper weight or something.

You have great hands.

You think so?

Gosh, thanks. I've never really

noticed them before.

I mean, I've noticed them, but

not "noticed", "noticed" them.

My boyfriend never

notices things like that.

I wonder if it's because we've been

together for so long.

Do you have a boyfriend?

No, I had a girlfriend, but...

She...she walked out on me last week.

Are you in love with her?

I thought so, but I didn't say so...

of course, she didn't think so.

People who break up

with me usually are

in my life-long devotion.

Are you flirting with me?

I don't know, probably. I don't know...

I don't meant to, though.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, that was...

a dumb question.

I'm at the studio almost every night...

- the glass studio.

- Yeah.

Sorry about your girlfriend.

Call me, OK?

OK, bye. Thanks.

Please leave a message.

Samantha? Hi.

It's me...

You're

in Saint Barts probably,

frolicking somewhere.

We didn't discuss it! There's just...

Message box full.

One more thing.

If this is Allegra calling

to tell Samantha that

they didn't discuss it,

you DID discuss it.

And, for your information,

she's not frolicking.

- Oh, excuse me.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Allegra.

- Yeah...Philip?

That's right, yeah.

What are you doing here?

I finished my classes for the day.

So, what about you?

Just writing a book review,

but I have to read the book first.

What a coincidence!

Freud says there are

no coincidences.

Oh, The Odyssey!

Dante's "Inferno", very nice...

"To the Lighthouse."

Martha Stewart's "Entertaining".

Philip Roth, Toni Morrison, Stanley Kunitz.

Philip Roth is a misogynist.

Martha Stewart's "Entertaining"!

I'll buy the first round if you don't tell

anyone about me and Martha.

I'll buy the second if you can think of

something more original

to say about Philip Roth.

- Nell's your ex, right?

- Right, right.

And Nina was the big one

before that. I put her in the novel.

Molly's not an ex.

Oh God, no, no.

Straight as a board.

Samantha is my most recent ex.

I was really close to

getting close with her.

"Close to getting close",

that's not a phrase.

The whole settling down thing,

just makes me crazy.

Why can't people just fall in love,

and when it ends, it ends?

'Cause they have feelings?

Would you like something

to happen with this man?

He's smart, charming,

got a nice set of hair.

Allegra, you're OK?

She asks if we want

some more coffee?

Do you mind

if we get the check?

Yeah, let's go.

So you're unresolved by your

relationship to relationships,

because being committed might result in

some sort of bourgeois complacency.

Committed! Just think about

that word..."committed".

Careful!

I'm unresolved, so...

Well...some people

are very resolved.

Oh yeah? Are you?

I always thought that I was.

Lately, I don't know.

Maybe you need a paradigm shift.

Not that I know how that goes, I've had

the same hair style since I was eleven.

- Yeah, you said that already.

- I did? Oh...

How embarrasing!

Ah, well...

- See ya!

- Yeah, OK.

- I don't...I don't know why I did that.

- I don't know why you did that.

What is it?

Don't be frightened.

- Well.

- Well.

I haven't done that

in about a thousand years.

Have sex?

- Have sex with a man, fool!

- Oh, and...?

Nice.

It's funny what the body

remembers if the mind forgets.

Let's not make a big deal

out of this or anything.

No, I don't make a big deal

about anything!

Good.

This feels like a real clich.

Sleeping with a woman who usually

sleeps with women is a clich?

No, not that part.

Me and my girlfriend have been together

forever, we haven't had sex in months...

and then I have great sex...

and it's with somebody else.

You're a guy...

How long have you been together?

A long time.

You're not married?

No.

So, Charlotte and Kevin are

tying the proverbial knot.

They got together

just a few months before us.

In the History of Medieval Music course.

Right, right, yeah I remember that.

- Why not?

- Well...

What do you mean "why not"?

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