Puccini for Beginners Page #6

- She's so cute!

- She is.

It can't be truth!

They can't be ex's!

Break it off, right now.

You've got to get out of there,

before this turns

into a total calamity.

If things can get this bad in New York City,

imagine what it's like in a small town.

Then again...New York City

is a small town.

You do not have a fever...

This is where that goes.

Alright, listen...this is

what we're gonna do.

You're gonna get up, get dressed,

go find each person, and tell them

you're sorry, but it's over. Alright?

I can't break up with them,

I'll hurt their feelings.

You're amazing, it's just...

I just got out of a relationship,

this is not healthy...

this is too new...

Oh, my God!

They're cheating on me.

- What?

- Huh?

- You've been staring at me all night.

- Sorry.

What you're gonna have?

- What the hell is wrong tonight?

- You're face is scratching me.

- I just shaved.

- You're scratching me anyway.

Allegra, if you don't wanna

have sex, just say so.

Now I get it. Now I know why

you won't include me in your life.

- You're still in love with her.

- What are you talking about?

I'm talking about what just

happened at the grocery store.

Grace, you said you liked

maccaroni and cheese.

All I said was Samantha liked

maccaroni and cheese too.

That's all. Nothing happened.

That's not all.

I asked you what she looked like, and

you knew how many eyelashes she has.

I'm going home.

Grace, please.

Let me just ask you,

where are we going?

We're going...along...

Do you love me?

I...I...

I ask you if you love me

and you can't even answer!

You're like a guy.

What is a guy, anyway?

Someone who can't say how she feels?

Someone who can't say "I love you", because

loving someone makes a person vulnerable?

I didn't talk to Philip or

Grace for three days.

I tried to write.

But somehow I just couldn't

get anything done.

So, what's up man?

The lesbian is busy tonight?

Shut up.

Well, I've got a date myself, so...

Don't wait up.

Ciao bello!

Yes, Molly...

Al, it's an emergency. I need you

to help me at a catering job tonight.

- Oh, no.

- I wouldn't call you unless...

I'm a writer, not a waiter. Alright?

- Please.

- Absolutely not.

- I haven't done a catering job in 5 years.

- Please.

What's happening? What's happening?

Can you, please, put that down. OK?

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

A honeymoon in Paris,

it's so old-fashioned.

- It's so romantic.

- Sam you look really happy.

- You're glowing.

- I feel like I have a fever.

Of course you have a fever,

you're getting married!

Here, a little shot of whisky should help.

Thank you.

Damn! I wanted one of

those toast points.

Can you hurry up with this, please?

Oh, great!

You owe me so big.

Take this. Get out there! Go!

Sam, your glass is full.

I only called you because we have to go

to that stupid thing together.

Right. What are you gonna have?

- We don't have to do that anymore.

- What? Do what?

The asking what the other one is having.

We're separated.

All right.

- Alright...

- I...

What? No, I'm sorry.

No. Pardon me.

Go ahead.

This is a hard discussion Grace...

You know...then let me go first.

Philip...I've met someone else.

You have?

And we're in love,

and I think it's serious.

I mean, I know it's serious.

Grace, I'm happy for you. Really.

That's all you have to say?

You're happy for me?

No. No.

It's just that I've met

somebody else too...

And it's pretty serious.

No, it's definitely serious.

- It's another woman.

- Yes it is.

But it didn't happen

before we broke up, I swear.

No, I'm not talking about you,

you fool. I'm talking about me.

I'm involved with another woman.

Champagne refills, please.

"Rpido, rpido", please.

"Schnell", please. Quickly!

Is everyone here an idiot?

What are you doing here?

I'm in charge of refills.

Come with me.

How about you work on the meatballs, OK?

Let me just do this.

- So, you're a lesbian now?

- Yes, I am. And happily.

With a woman who is interested in me

and all aspects of my life.

Well, the woman that I'm seeing

takes me for who I am.

- She loves me unconditionally.

- She must be a saint.

She's the most unique

person I've ever met.

She's a totally unconventional woman.

Well, the woman I've falled in love with

doesn't mind doing things together,

like a normal couple.

And we have amazing sex.

All the time.

Well, we're getting married.

You're what?!

- Why are you catering?

- Why are you having an engagement party?

- Why aren't you at home writing?

- Why are you marrying Jeff?

Wait. Do you wanna have a fight now?

Is that what's happening here?

I'm marrying Jeff because

I want someone I can count on.

- You're out of your mind? You don't love him.

- I do!

Sort of...and for all his flaws, you know,

at least Jeff wants to try to grow.

I want to grow too, you know?

And I have...a lot, since we broke up.

You wouldn't believe the growth!

- What?

- Samantha?

What the hell is going on?

I'm having a private conversation in here.

With who?

None of your business.

With my lesbian ex-lover

if you must know, Jeff.

Guess what, Philip.

I'm marrying the woman that I love, too.

We're going to Spain

where gay people

can get married, unlike here.

I'll make sure to send you an invitation.

Alright. Have fun in Spain.

Is Allegra there?

Get a hammer.

We're gonna bust this door down.

I don't really want a girlfriend.

Stop lying to yourself.

OK. Well, let me put it like this, then.

I want a lifetime partner.

And I can't help it.

That's just how I am.

And I know you're against

that kind of stuff, and you think it's

slavery and patriarchy,

and all that kind of stuff.

But, Allegra...I want to

grow old with someone.

And that doesn't mean you don't

have a self. It just means...

that you wanna share yourself

with someone else.

I don't wanna be with

someone who shuts down

as soon as she

starts feeling close.

- I do not do that.

- Yes, you do.

OK.

I do.

But I don't want to...I really, really don't.

Hold it!

- I'm not speaking to you.

- I'm not speaking to you.

Never did like your friend Jeff,

anyway. He's an idiot.

Just ignore me the whole night,

and try not to make out

with every woman in the room!

I can't believe I'm wearing

this stupid outfit.

I think you look cute.

I have never seen you this vulnerable.

It's all your fault.

It's fantastic.

Sam, I'm going to bust the door down!

Jeffrey, we need to talk.

- Allegra!

- Oh my God!

What are you doing here?

I was just trying to call you.

Philip, I'm on my way out.

Oh my God, I've got to talk to you.

I saw Grace tonight.

That's my ex, you know.

And...she met somebody else.

She's a lesbian now.

Can you believe this?

Can you? Can you?

This is insane. They're gonna get

married in Spain.

I knew that's what she want,

she wanted that, but

still, it's just such a shock!

Spain? That's not true.

She had to tell me how great

the sex was that they had.

She just throw that in there.

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