Pump Up the Volume Page #5

because he's pretty cool.

He's an athlete and everything.

First of all, when was this,

and how old are you?

Just before school.

I'm sixteen.

Go ahead.

So, we get up there,

we take off our shirts...

and we start fooling around.

And then, I sort of told him

how much I liked him.

He just smiled

and said he knew it.

Then he says...

"Why don't we take our pants off

and get a tan?"

So I did it.

But he stalled.

Go ahead.

And then two of his friends

showed up...

and they were drinking beer

and laughing.

And they took my clothes

and threw them up in the trees.

I didn't know what to do.

I started to cry, but...

they just laughed at me,

so I stopped.

Then they started

calling me things...

but I don't even care

about that.

I know I'm into guys, but...

this was different.

So, what did you do?

Everything.

Everything they told me.

I'm calling the police.

Fraud, pornography--

he is just using

those poor kids.

That's the thirteenth call

tonight.

Sounds like kids

bullshitting to me.

I don't know.

Things like that happen

when you're a kid.

You swallow it, Donny?

I think you're forgetting what

it's like when you're young.

Come on, Shep.

He got some kid to call in with

some story they've concocted.

lt isn't real.

Who cares if it's real

if the people are riveted?

Let's go.

No. People are rebroadcasting

this thing over state lines.

I think it's time

to bring in the feds.

This is FCC jurisdiction.

I feel bad that

I didn't even do anything.

I didn't even say anything.

Now he won't even talk to me.

He won't even look at me.

I'm pretty confused.

Confused?

You're not the one

who's confused.

You sound like you know

exactly what's going on.

lf anyone's confused,

it's those guys out there.

I know,

but I think about him a lot.

Sometimes I wonder why

one person is born one way...

and another person

is born another way.

Are you there?

So, I guess you think

I'm a f*ggot wimp, right?

I'm just thinking

how strong people can be...

and how everyone is alike

in some way...

and how everyone needs

the same things.

So, what are we going to do

about all this?

I don't know.

That's the big question,

isn't it, huh?

I guess nobody knows, huh?

Well, that's tough. I got to go.

See you.

I guess we all got to go now.

Good night, pal.

Good night, friends.

"Believe it or not, I care"?

"Eight-thirty to three-thirty."

What's that?

It's some new hotline

Deaver's setting up.

Hey, it's eight-thirty

in the morning...

so I guess it's OK

to kill myself.

Oh, my God,

it's after three-thirty...

so I guess I'm totally f***ed.

What are you doing?

Tramp.

B*tch.

How's he getting

this information?

I want all the locks

in the school changed.

I want a list of every student

with relatives on the staff.

Just found the graffiti

on the roof of the cafeteria.

They're taking it down now.

What's it say?

"Creswood's a maggot pus wad."

Hey, are you the guy

selling tapes of that guy?

- Yeah.

- How much?

Five bucks each.

All right, let me have it.

- There you go.

- Thanks, man.

Selling pretzels, Donald?

Nobody knows who he is.

We don't believe you, Donald.

I swear to God.

Nobody has any idea.

Then you've got until the end

of the day to get an idea.

And don't forget--

your file is under review.

You better bring all your

enrollment files to my office.

What did they do to you?

- You Donald?

- Yeah.

I'm Joey.

Can you get me into the P.A.?

Stay hard!

All right! Yeah!

The truth is a virus!

That's it for music

in the alcove.

And from now on...

anyone caught defacing

school property is expelled.

David Deaver speaking

Who is this

Who-- who-- who is this

You just hold on a minute there

David Deaver speaking

David Deaver speaking

What's happening?

What's going on?

It's Mr. Deaver.

David Deaver speaking

Admit what

lt won't stop.

Turn the speaker system.

Shut off the whole system.

We can't!

Shut down the whole school.

You just-- you just

- All right, Randy.

- Check this out.

You're the TV guy, right?

Want to interview me?

Because I was listening

the first night it was on...

and I'm amazing.

Here. Plug it in.

I used to go here, you know?

But they kicked me out

for no reason.

Know what I'm saying?

Check it out.

School colors, you know?

It's instant pep rally.

The smog's getting worse

and worse in this town.

Go down on him.

Come here, you little--

Mr. Murdock.

Can you direct me to the office?

Come on!

This is Shep Sheppard

reporting live...

from deep in the smoke

at Hubert Humphrey High.

Sit down.

Anybody mind if I smoke?

You do understand

you're expelled.

That's cool.

I can quite legally expel you.

Loretta, I'm already expelled.

Don't you remember?

You booted me out

the first week for dress code.

You're trespassing.

How'd you like to be arrested?

That's cool, too, you know?

Because I told them cameras

to wait.

I got lots to tell them.

Who's going to believe

anything you say?

Who's going to believe you?

Maybe Harry might.

What are you doing?

It's cool.

We're safe in here.

Guess what I heard?

What?

That smug Paige Woodward...

she burned up

all her sh*t last night...

right after you suggested it.

ln her kitchen!

Her precious pearls

were flying like bullets.

Her dad was unthrilled.

What?

This is out of control.

Yes!

Students are requested

to inform their parents...

of an emergency meeting

tonight...

with the PTA

and the school commissioner.

That's it.

It's over.

I just hope it isn't too late.

Just leave me alone, OK?

Please.

Oh, yes.

D- D-David Deaver

And I really, really

don't give a damn

I really don't know anything

Because I haven't got it

Have you guys listened

to the Hard Harry show?

We would never, ever

listen to trash like that.

He's obscene, dude.

Yo, Mom.

Yo, I'm D-D-David Deaver

Is that box

registered to a name?

Yes, of course that box

is registered to a name...

but I can't give it out to you.

But you can to me.

Yes, sir, I can do it for you.

I will give it to you instantly.

That box is rented

to Mr. Charles U. Farley...

One-one-two-two Crescent.

But that's the address

of the school.

Chuck U. Farley.

ln a follow up

to Monday's tragic suicide...

we have a story

on Paige Woodward...

who was a senior

at the same high school...

who, apparently at

the urging of the pirate DJ...

set off an explosion

in her family's home.

Are you OK, Mark?

Don't worry. I'm not gonna

blow up the kitchen.

Very funny, darling.

Listen to this.

...still anonymous

radio operator.

He's been charged with

criminal solicitation...

in the suicide death

of Malcolm Kaiser.

Elsewhere--

Mark, have you ever listened

to this character?

No, not exactly listened.

He's knocking the best school

in the district...

and apparently, he goes there.

Well, it's not exactly

the best school in the district.

There are some problems with it.

I figure

you don't rock the boat...

especially if

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