Putney Swope
- R
- Year:
- 1969
- 84 min
- 879 Views
Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet
Dr. Alvin Weasely.
Dr. Weasely is one of the most respected
motivational researchers in the country.
Harveys Beer has dropped 84%.
So Dr. Weasely will tell us how the
American public really feels about beer.
Dr. Weasely.
Beer is for men who doubt
their masculinity.
That's why it's so popular
at sporting events and poker games.
On a superficial level...
a glass of beer is a cool,
soothing beverage.
But in reality...
a glass of beer is pee-pee dickey.
- That's it.
- Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
"Pee-pee dickey?"
- We paid for that?
- $28,000, and we got off easy.
The man made some
very perceptive statements.
I got it.
"Make it big with Harveys Beer."
Big foam.
You get a big bang out of it.
Big, proud head.
It's big and it lasts long--
You know, you're about as subtle
as an elephant in heat.
That's great. We'll show an elephant
sipping Harveys Beer at the circus.
- It's obscene.
- Don't moralize, Elias.
- We're committed to Harveys Beer.
- I'm committed to myself.
Harveys Beer is
the worst beer in the market.
It's a loser. Get rid of it.
There are no losers.
Every product has potential--
It's a stiff.
No, no don't say that.
There's no such thing.
You're a stiff.
I'll not tolerate
your self-indulgence.
I'm gonna tell him
exactly what you've said.
Just because you were here
when my old man started this agency...
you know,
that doesn't alter the facts.
You've played so many sides of the fence
you don't know where the fence is anymore.
- I know my job.
- Oh, that's beautiful.
If it weren't for your father,
you'd be on welfare.
$60,000 a year,
and all you can do is wreck the joint.
He's right. He's not creative,
but he knows the rules.
And you gotta know the rules
before you can break the rules.
- Right.
- There's no respect anymore.
He's right, Nathan.
You did your tango 30 years ago.
Fascist!
Duck hunter loses his rifle...
walks seven miles to a cathouse,
knocks on the door.
The door opens, the madam says,
"Who sent you?"
He says, "In the '40s,
it was Judy Canova and Victor Mature.
"In the '50s, it was Christine Jorgensen
and James Dean.
"In the '60s,
it was Smith & Wesson."
That's it.
He was a nice guy.
Can you lend me five?
Our job is to manipulate the consumer
by arousing his desires...
and then we satisfy those desires
for a fixed price.
- Sounds familiar.
- It sounds familiar.
It's called advertising.
Yes?
Thank you.
Elias Sr.
just went through the lobby.
Well, let's go.
Let's go, Bissinger.
Our war toy account
is up 23% and a third.
Hey, Bissinger,
you better get hip to reality.
By advertising toy guns, you're
encouraging kids to enjoy violence.
You're only Music Director
around here, Swope.
What do you know about
the total spectrum?
- I know what I feel.
- What's that got to do with it?
- I think we should drop the account.
- How dare you!
Drop the account and show
the business community and the public...
that we're morally
and socially responsible.
- Groovy, let's do it.
- Thank you.
Putney...
I've been supervising the war
toy account for 1 2 years.
And let me tell you something.
Deny a young boy
the right to have a toy gun...
and you'll suppress his
destructive urges...
and he'll turn out
to be a homosexual...
- or worse:
- I'd rather have my son be a fag than a killer.
Your son is a fag!
You took him on the picnic hike,
I didn't.
Last year at Malibu,
only Jim was a fag.
Two weeks ago,
Steve and Ralph came over.
Yesterday, Randy came over.
There it is.
The fraught priest is on the road.
It's 3:
00 a.m...he's got a flat tire and it's raining.
So he goes up to this farmhouse--
We're grossing less
than $1 million a day...
and you're talking about
flat tires and farmhouses?
Get out of my life.
Good morning, Mario.
Good afternoon, Mario.
Every consumer has a small box
in his head.
Everyone has a soapbox.
A breadbox. A cereal box.
A shampoo box.
This box is the target...
of $46 billion
a year in advertising.
Now, there's only so much room
in each box...
and if we overload these boxes
with too much information...
they won't remember anything.
But...
if we use...
creative foreplay...
before we penetrate...
we'll...
Benefit.
Bypass?
Looks like...
Sounds like...
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
We'll never know.
- I'm going to the track.
- Have a ball, baby.
What do you think
of those cuff links?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
How many syllables, Mario?
I'm the Senior Vice President,
so I'm the new chairman of--
Bullshit.
The corporate bylaws
make it very clear...
that the only way we can determine
a new chairman is by democratic process.
Paragraph 68 specifically states...
that nobody can vote for himself.
That's what it says,
so that's where it's at.
Vote for me, and I'll get you
into the Knights of Columbus.
Vote for me,
I'll give you 10% of the business.
25%.
Vote for me...
and I'll set you up
in Puerto Rico...
for life.
I got Puerto Ricans in my building.
Enough carcass.
Let's get the votes in.
How can we talk about
who's gonna be chairman of the board...
when my father's laying
dead on the table?
Why can't I be
chairman of the board?
Because you're a nitwit.
My father started this agency.
And you're not going to finish it.
Thank you, Valerie.
One for Elias.
Swope.
One for Bissinger.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
Swope.
That's it.
One vote for Elias,
one vote for Bissinger...
nine votes for Swope.
Swope, you don't have to accept.
It's a terrible job.
Don't take it, Swope.
Take it easy, Nathan.
I've seen your cardiogram.
It's a mirage.
A man's been elected
and you voted for him.
We all voted for him.
Because we thought
no one else would vote for him.
Putney Swope is the new chairman
of this board.
And I will defend
that mistake with my life.
Congratulations, Putney.
It's going to be a pleasure
working with you, Swope.
You're gonna make
a great chairman...
if you stay in line.
My father would've
wanted it this way.
He dug you very much.
Your father was a horse's ass.
Yeah. But he dug you very much.
will be minimal.
I'm not going to rock the boat.
Rocking the boat's a drag.
What you do is sink the boat.
And there's no sense
sinking nothing...
unless you can salvage
with productive alternatives...
and, brothers, you can't change nothing
with rhetoric and slogans...
because if a man's really got
the truth in his pocket...
he doesn't talk about it.
He hangs it out on a shingle
where people can see it.
So, from now on,
the name of this agency is...
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Putney Swope" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 7 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/putney_swope_16405>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In