Pygmalion Page #6

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One, two, three.

That's better.

Listen carefully, Eliza.

"HoWkind of you to let me come. "

- Now listen.

- dd

- Say it.

- How kind of you to let me come.

No, no.

Do it again.

How kind of you

to let me come.

- Oh, it's Mr. -

- I know.

- He's here again.

- dd

No good, sir.

May I have the pleasure,

Miss Doolittle?

Get up, girl.

"Yes, I'd be delighted. "

- I'd be delighted.

- Come on then.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three.

She has no sense of timing.

Now watch me with Pickering.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

One, two, three.

Do you see what I mean?

Now, once again.

"Silent soup drinking is one

of the hallmarks of a lady. "

Wake up, Eliza.

HoWdo you address an ambassador?

- Your Excellency.

- Right.

NoWimagine yourself standing before an

archbishop. HoW Would you address him?

- Your Honor.

- No, no, no.!

An archbishop,

not the pope.

- Your Worship.

- No.!

- Your Maesty.

- Right.

- Now then, an ambassador.

- Your Excellency.

- An archbishop.

- Your Grace.

- The Queen. An archduke.

- Your Maesty.

Oh, help.

- It's 3:
00, Mr. Higgins.

- Is that all?

Now then, we start all over

again from the beginning.

- An ambassador.

- Your Excellency.

- An archbishop. The Queen.

- Your Grace. Your Maesty.

- An archduke. A cardinal.

- Your Honor. Your Reverence.

- Come on, Eliza!

- I don't know.

It's half past four,

Mr. Higgins.

We will now start the whole thing

over from the beginning.

Oh, I can't.

I can't.

If I can do it with a splitting

headache, you can do it.

But I've got a headache.

I can't.

Here, take this!

Now then,

an ambassador.

Oh, His Excellency!

Come, Higgins.

Be reasonable.

I'm always

reasonable.

Now then,

the time has come.

Send for dressmakers,

hairdressers, makeup artists,

manicurists, and all

the rest of the parasites.

Did you ever

see the like?

Ah, I have it.

Camellia, camellia, camellia.

- There. You see?

- No.

- Le Fleur?

- No, no.

More mud there.

- Aren't you ready yet?

- Almost.

- Nervous?

- Yes, very. Aren't you?

No, not a bit of it.

Not a bit of it.

dd

Maestro!

Maestro!

- You remember me.

- No, I don't. Where have we met?

But I'm your pupil,

your best and greatest pupil.

I've made your name famous

throughout Europe.

You teach me phonetics. You cannot

forget me. I am Aristid Karpathy.

Are you Aristid?

Why the devil don't you cut your hair?

If I cut my hair

nobody notices me.

I have not your imposing appearance,

your chin, your brow.

What are you doing here

among all these swells?

I am indispensable

at these international parties.

You can place a man anywhere in London

the moment he opens his mouth.

- I can place a man anywhere in Europe.

- Excuse me, sir.

You're wanted upstairs. Her Excellency

cannot understand the Greek gentleman.

Indeed.

I'll come at once.

This Greek diplomat who pretends

he cannot speak or understand English.

He cannot

deceive me.

A tout a I'heure,

Mon Vieux.

- Is that Karpathy fellow really an expert?

- My best pupil.

But heaven help the master

who's udged by his disciples.

If he meets Eliza, we're done.

Let's go home.

Home? Rubbish!

That idiot?

Well, Eliza,

noW We're in for it.

Are you ready?

Come on.

If that fellow finds out

about Eliza, he'll blackmail us.

Let him try.

Her Grace, the Duchess of Kerr.

Admiral Sir Charles BroWn Phelby.

Miss Elizabeth Doolittle,

Colonel Pickering,

Professor Higgins.

- How do you do, Colonel Pickering?

- How do you do?

- May I present Miss Elizabeth Doolittle.

- How do you do?

How kind of you

to let me come.

Oh, not at all.

- Good evening.

- Oh, Professor. Good evening.

Who is this charming girl

you've brought?

- Is she a relation?

- Not of mine, no.

She has such a faraway look,

as if she has always lived in a garden.

So she has,

a sort of garden.

There is one thing I have observed

about the English, Duchess.

- And that is-

- Yes, I adore observing the English.

Let's go and observe them now.

Come along, George.

Oh, dear.

Such a bore about the English.

And quite wrong,

like every ambassador.

Look, there's dear old

Lily Fantail...

With the Whole of

a garden on her head.

You have a live one

here tonight.

He introduced himself as your pupil.

Is he any good?

He can learn a language

in a fortnight.

Knows dozens of them-

the sure mark of a fool.

Your Excellency's interested

in Miss Doolittle?

Yes.

- Could you find out who she is?

- Excellency.

Lord Wilshim and Lady Wilshim.

I feel like Noah standing on the bridge,

watching the loading of the arc.

You know,

two of everything.

- Colonel Pickering- - Tell me more

about your Greek gentleman friend.

Gentleman? He's the son

of a Clerkenwell watchmaker.

He speaks English

so villainously...

that he dare not utter a word of it

without betraying his origin.

I help him to pretend,

but I make him pay

through the nose.

I make them all pay.

And now, Professor Higgins,

I should be delighted...

if you would present me

to this Miss Doolittle.

Oh, no, you don't. Can't you see

she's talking to a duchess?

Professor

Higgins!

The very man I've been dying to meet.

I'm Ysabel of the Sun.

Perfide of

the Globe.

What extraordinary people

seem to get in everywhere nowadays.

Extraordinary.

Colonel Pickering,

unfortunately we were interrupted.

- Would you be so kind as

to introduce me? - Well, I-

You remember you were so kind as

to address the Guild of Lady Orators?

- Excuse me, but I-

- No, this time you're ours.

Enchanted.

- I don't believe it's true.

- It is, my darling.

- One thing more-

- Do tell us.

I have found out

all about her.

- Well?

- She's a-

Oh.

- I say, Pickering, do you

know what's happened- - dd

dd

dd

Charming.

Miss Doolittle, Madam.

My dear fellow, I hope you don't think

any truth to that Karpathy chap.

Nonsense, but the game's all up.

He's found out all about her.

I say, Pick,

look at that.

- Who is she?

- I can't imagine.

My child, my son would

very much like to dance with you.

If I may be alloWed the honor.

dd

dd

When he gives the game away to the

ambassadress, there'll be the deuce of a row.

I wouldn't miss it

for the world. Excuse me.

- Come on, Aristid. You've got to tell us.

- No.

- Tell us all you knoW about this Miss Doolittle.

- No, that is my secret.

But I will tell

Your Excellency.

She has a right to know

who Miss Doolittle is. She is a-

- Film star.

- Oh, no. She's a fraud.

- A fraud? - Oh,

no. - Yes, yes.

- She cannot deceive me. Her name cannot be Doolittle.

- Why?

Because Doolittle is an English name,

and she is not English.

- But she speaks it perfectly.

- Too perfectly.

Can you show me any Englishwoman who

speaks English as it should be spoken?

There is no such thing. The English do

not know how to speak their own language.

Only foreigners who have been

taught to speak it speak it well.

- Yes, there's something in that.

- But if she's not English, what is she?

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