Quarter Bin Page #7

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would've been 96

years old today?

What?

Indeed.

I imagine what the

world would've been like

if Jack Kirby

didn't get cut down

in the year 1994.

My summer a blight.

We would've had flying cars.

Flying cars, Spence?

[Spenser] Sure.

Okay, just how

would the survival

of a comic book

artist bring about

flying cars, pray tell?

Especially in the 20

years since he died,

considering we didn't

get flying cars

in the first 76

years of his life.

Well, the Jetsons did manifest

an early version of Kirby.

His work would've

changed the world.

We woulda had, you

know, automobiles,

landscape, rocketry,

and flying cars.

That makes, that

makes no sense.

I mean, people have

been fantasizing

about flying to

work for decades.

It's not like they

just sat around

and waited for Jack

Kirby to draw it.

And, besides, if they

wanted inspiration,

the Jetsons should've

inspired them,

and none of that

changes the physics

of trying to make a car fly.

You know, Spence,

we would probably be

$100,000 richer if you ever

bought anything at the store.

I'm not gonna buy anything AK.

[Mark] AK?

Yeah, AK.

After Kirby.

Well, we do try to

keep the store going,

even in the AK era.

Attention,

attention, everyone.

As you may know, my

name's Kevin Murphy.

And tonight we have a very

special lady in the house.

She has came to mean

a lot to the store.

And, actually, a lot to me.

And I have a very special song

for that very special lady.

Carley.

(tinny instrumental music)

I don't know

How I survived each day

Without you here with me

But now that you're here

Oh, I need you near

We were meant to be

Baby

I don't care if our

friends are talkin'

About the love we have

But the love we got

They have never had

Truthfully

I'm forever yours

Walkin' hand in hand

Side by side

Whoa, whoa, whoa

- Truthfully

- Are you serious?

Till the end of time

I gotta get outta here.

What the hell, Kevin?

What do you think you're doing?

Can't you see how

embarrassed she is?

Are you blind?

Why don't you back the hell off?

I think both of you need

to give her some space.

But I was just trying to...

Nah, you were

trying to impress her,

and you were trying

to defend her,

and you both made asses

out of yourselves.

You know what, I give up.

(tinny instrumental music)

(Mark laughs)

- Hey.

- Hey.

What's up?

I just wanted to apologize

for freaking out on you earlier.

No.

You're right, Lisa.

I was so much in my own world

that I didn't even

realize how uncomfortable

I was makin' her feel

with the serenade.

To put it mildly.

But I just don't understand

why she reacted so strongly.

Like, if you're not

into me like that,

or whatever, then that's cool,

but the way she reacted?

Kevin, you should know,

Carley's gay.

Gay?

[Lisa] Gay.

Damn.

- Mark was right.

- What?

Nothing.

So it's not personally?

Of course not.

You're a great guy.

You won't be alone long.

Thanks.

You're awesome, Lisa.

How 'bout we go out

together some time?

- You and me?

- Yeah.

I mean, we've known

each other for years,

we like the same things,

and I know,

throughout the years,

that you had a little

bit of a crush on me.

You're a great friend

and, and I love you

- as a...

- As a friend,

I know, I know.

I'm such a great friend.

I swear, if I had

a dollar every time

I heard a girl say that,

I'd be able to pay

me therapist bills.

I mean, sometimes I

just wanna turn around

when I hear someone say that

and be like, okay,

screw you, b*tch.

You wanna go out?

Next time I hear a girl say,

where are all the good guys at?

I'm going to reply,

in the friend zone,

where you left them.

It's not that simple.

How isn't it that simple?

I'm in love with someone else.

[Kevin] You are?

Yeah.

Wow.

Do they know?

I don't know.

Well, I think you

should go tell him.

It, it's, it's complicated.

(sighs) Now you're

soundin' like Ash.

Lisa.

[Lisa] Yeah?

Go.

Tell them how you really feel.

Don't miss the opportunity.

If you want it bad, you

better go and get it.

I will.

(birds tweeting)

(snow crunching)

Hey.

Hey.

Can I sit down.

[Carley] It's a free country.

I'm sorry for how

I was acting earlier.

You mean the freak

out you indulged in

after Kevin's little

musical number?

Yes, that.

Well, I do appreciate how

you rescued me, my

knight in shining armor.

I didn't just come

over to apologize.

[Carley] Really?

I came over

because I love you.

You love me?

I love you.

I realize that now.

I think part of me has

been in love with you

since the first time we met.

Oh, Lisa, I can't do this.

But I thought after earlier?

Yeah, after earlier,

after I told you how I felt

and I got shut down. (sighs)

It was just so easy for you to

push my feelings to the side.

I know, and, and I'm sorry.

I don't know what

my problem was.

Yeah, it's a real mystery.

But what if it comes back again?

I feel for you, Lisa, I,

I'm falling for you,

but I can't take the

emotional yo-yoing.

Carley, I could

make this work.

I want to make this work.

[Carley] What

about your parents?

Are you really ready to

jump off that bridge?

Hi, Mom?

It's Lisa.

Mom, I,

I have something I

need to tell you,

and, and you may not like it,

but it's something

I have to say.

Mom,

I finally figured out

why I've never found

a guy I wanted to date

or why none of the boys

you've ever introduced me to

have ever interested

me in the slightest.

I used to think it was

them, Mom, but it's not.

It's me.

I'm gay, Mom.

I think part of me

has always known,

but I didn't wanna

face it until now, and.

But I'm gay,

and I'm in love.

I've met the most

amazing woman, Ma.

She's sweet, smart, kind,

and, and she cares about me.

And, and I wanna tell the world

and I never wanna hide it,

so you would've

found out eventually.

I, I decided to tell you myself.

I know that this isn't what

you envisioned for me, Mom,

but I'm happy,

I'm so happy when I'm with her,

and,

and if that's something

you can't accept,

well,

that's too bad.

I'll talk to you later.

You told your mom.

Yeah.

Wow.

I thought you were

terrified of her.

The thought of losing

you terrified me more.

Carley, I love you,

and if I had to climb

to the top of the

water tower naked

and yell it to the

world, I would.

Because when you discover

that you wanna spend

the rest of your life

making someone happy,

you want the rest of your life

to start as soon as possible.

I love you, too, Lisa.

- Lisa.

- Yeah?

The conversation with your mom

sounded awfully one-sided.

Did she say anything?

She wasn't home.

I got her voicemail.

- Really?

- Yeah.

[Carley] That would be one

awkward listening session.

She usually checks

her messages in church

when it gets boring.

(laughing)

That oughta liven

up the sermon.

Have you ever had

sex with a physicist?

[Carley] Can't

say that I have.

- I have one word for you.

- Yes?

Leverage, my good

woman, leverage.

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