Queen of Earth Page #2

- I manage his affairs.

- Clerical work.

No, it's not. I mean, it's not paperwork.

It's not? Why do you always

have those paper cuts?

It's responsible work.

It's dull.

See, Catherine is this great artist.

But... she's hiding in her father's shadow,

afraid to break out on her own.

Thank you, but it is responsible work

and I very much enjoy doing it.

She's, basically, his assistant.

Well, I don't see that there's

anything wrong with being an assistant

to one of our great living artists.

And how many people did you beat out

to win that great position?

I would tell you, but I don't think you would

understand the concept of a job interview.

You're killing me.

- Please, don't talk to me like that.

- Like what?

Like you're superior to me,

or to any of us.

Why not?

Um... because it's dull.

And it's uninteresting.

Well, we all can't live

in a magical fantasy land.

Uh...

I think if you use your imagination,

you can have a pretty good time.

I think that is an incredibly...

ignorant and childish thing to say.

OK...

Well, I don't know.

I just don't think I was built

for that kind of nonsense.

I think I was made to be a member

of the modern aristocracy.

- What does that mean?

- Mm...

Because I have this great house.

It's your parents' house,

which they let you use, occasionally.

You didn't earn it, so don't act like

you're entitled to it.

- Why are you being so confrontational?

- I'm just being realistic.

I'm serious. I just want to have a nice time

and relax.

As opposed to what?

Relaxing every other day of your life?

I don't relax every day.

I'm sorry. You have one bad thing happen

to you, like, three months ago.

Don't pretend that this is some break

from a tedious and stressful existence.

OK, you know what?

Don't worry about me.

- I'm not.

- Don't think about me. Forget it. Please.

Cat, come on...

Oh, look who has something to say.

Now you want to get involved?

- We're tired.

- "We" are not tired. Don't say "we".

I'm not tired. Just because you're tired,

doesn't mean that I'm tired.

- That's the spirit.

- Well, I'm... pretty tired.

- So...

- Rich is tired.

Yeah, Rich is tired.

- I wanna go.

- Don't go, Rich.

Yeah, don't go, Rich.

- I should get going. I'll see you.

- It's great to meet you, Rich.

Nice to meet you too.

Nice to meet you, K. Take it easy.

I'm sorry about that. I thought

they were gonna be gone all night.

- That's fine. I'm interested.

- How so?

Uh... to meet her.

After hearing you talk about her.

Do you think I'm a horrible friend?

Ah... I don't know

that I can really answer that.

You're always very sweet to me.

Well, you ask so little of me.

Uh...

Sure you don't want to come in?

I should get back.

All right, well...

door's always open.

- Just leave them.

- I don't wanna leave them!

Why?

Because no one else

is gonna clean this up but me.

Will you leave me alone?

It was autumn, October,

and we would just take long walks and...

get takeout

and watch videos at my apartment.

I had that...

basement apartment, at the time, so once

you were inside, no light could get in.

So you could just... never even see

when the sun came up.

I loved that apartment.

But then, after...

a few...

six weeks, him and his girlfriend

started to get back together, and...

he just shut me out.

We had class together,

so we were polite, but...

you know, it was really shitty.

It really broke my heart,

'cause it felt like he didn't...

choose me, you know?

Um... so, then, a couple years go by,

maybe longer, maybe it was more like

two and a half, and...

All of a sudden, out of the blue,

I get this letter.

Like, an actual letter, written on paper.

With a pen...

and it was so sweet and...

It was sort of apologetic, but...

not overtly, or in an annoying way.

Anyways, I agreed to meet him, after work.

Late one night. It was December.

It was, like, 20 degrees out, and...

I was standing outside.

I had that white knit cap on

that I used to wear all the time.

And he came out and he just looked...

exactly the same, and...

He said that I looked the same too,

but that can't be true

because I had really short blond hair,

at the time.

And, um...

We went to a bar

and we had a few drinks

and he told me about how...

Of course, his relationship

inevitably ended, as...

it was meant to, and...

And he just couldn't stop

thinking about me, and...

Before I even knew it,

I was forgiving him.

For... two years of resentment.

For not choosing me, I was forgiving him.

And...

his apartment was nearby, so...

we were walking there and I...

asked if I could use the bathroom,

which I know sounds like

a really cheap move,

but I really did have to go, and...

I really did think I was just gonna

go in there and then leave, and...

But then it was really warm inside

and so cold outside,

and so we just, like...

ended up talking, and...

and then kissing, and, you know...

We just fell asleep for a while, and...

So, we were together, then,

through the holidays, and...

he came to my house

and I met his parents, and...

it was going really well, and...

It just felt like we were finally getting

what we didn't get in the first place.

You know? And...

Something that was so real and...

It felt so important.

Then a few more months passed and...

Um... he started to get distant again, and...

I was planning weekend trips and...

introducing him to my friends and just trying

to really integrate him into my life.

Then I realised... you know,

two or three days were passing,

where I wasn't hearing from him.

And it hit me that he was...

doing it again.

He was just...

He was doing the exact same thing

that he did before, and...

And I was too stupid to realise it,

before it was too late.

And I knew that my problem...

this problem that I have,

this issue that just keeps

landing me in the same place...

Almost three years later, here I was,

in the exact same place.

Was because I was...

more impressed with this note,

with this handwritten note,

than I was with his...

supposed changes in personality.

You know? I saw this...

this effort, this...

This textile representation of his feelings,

and I...

I thought it was something real

when it wasn't.

It was just trite and clichd and fatuous.

But, I mean, it was real.

It was this real piece of paper...

which, I'm ashamed to admit,

I carried around, like, three apartments,

after that.

But it wasn't real, it...

it just was something

that was completely empty.

And hollow.

And it just made me realise that I'm just in

this self-perpetuating cycle of defeat,

where I can't get out of it,

because I can't get out of it,

because I can't get out of it...

I need some time...

It's one of the worst tendencies

of human nature,

to assume the best of others.

You remember Chad?

- So, we were friends, right?

- Mm.

Whatever that means in middle school,

and...

He was my first kiss.

Over the years,

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