Queen of Earth Page #3

we were in the same friend group, and...

I don't think he ever...

knew he was my first kiss, anyway.

We never talked about it.

But I'd say...

throughout high school, graduation,

college, he was like...

top-20, all-time good friends.

And, then, after college,

for whatever reason,

we started seeing a lot of one another.

And... we'd hang out, like,

a couple times a week.

Go to concerts, have dinner.

And, then, we were

just... suddenly... together,

hooking up and...

spending the night at his place

and mine, you know...

And it was summer.

It was great.

It was absolutely

one of those summer things, where...

All my memories of that time are...

intricately connected to him.

But he was going to grad school,

or law school or something...

So, around July, I start telling him,

you know, this is going where it's going.

It's not going to grad school

with him, and...

He says he gets it, but then,

things start to get more serious,

and it becomes clear to me that

he hasn't been in a serious relationship

in a long time.

So, I keep reminding him that...

we're headed for a dead end,

and he says,

"Yeah, I get it. It's fine. I get it."

And I believe him.

And then, suddenly, it's August,

and before he's even gone, he's already...

talking about me coming to visit him

and a trip he has planned

to come back and...

in October...

So...

I say no.

That's not gonna happen.

None of that is real.

And he thinks I'm joking.

He basically ignores it all.

So, then he's gone, and within...

a week or two,

I'm seeing somebody else, and...

he's still calling, all the time, and...

one night, some Saturday night, I'm...

out in a bar and...

he calls and he's giving me the business

about being out

at two or three in the morning, and I just

snapped and was screaming at him.

Telling him he was a delusional bastard,

and I can't believe what I'm hearing,

and I want to have nothing to do with him.

So, that's that.

It's September now, and...

I don't hear from him or anything,

until Christmas, when he's back...

around, obviously.

And, so, we're all at a bar.

I don't know where you were

during all of this.

Maybe you were away that year,

for whatever reason.

Anyway, we see each other, and...

It's as if nothing has ever happened.

He's civil, but I can tell he's seething,

and just seeing him pisses me off so much,

because I can see now what he is.

Just this... delusional, desperate man,

and goddamn, that is so unattractive.

So, my point is...

You can get out someone else's cycle,

but you can't get out of your own.

You were victimised

by his handwritten note

and I was... victimised

by his inability to face reality.

And yet...

here we both are.

Where the f*** are they?

Who the hell are you?

Me? Rich.

From last year.

- Sorry, I'm not good with faces or names.

- So...

you mean, like, people?

Yeah, them too.

Heard about your dad.

- I'm really sorry.

- Don't be. You didn't know him.

Still...

- Why are you here?

- Well, I had to say "hey" to my girls.

I'm sure you can't be referring to me

when you say that.

Just wanted to see what was up.

- I saw Ginny's car outside.

- Don't call her Ginny.

- What was that?

- I didn't hear anything.

Why is that guy here?

Who, Rich?

Yeah. "Rich".

He likes to hang out, sometimes.

I don't know. Who cares?

What are you up to, next week?

I haven't a clue.

That must be nice.

What?

To choose to just...

hang out and do nothing.

I didn't choose to be here. Nobody would

choose to be in this situation.

I was thrust into this situation,

against my will.

Yeah, I know how that feels...

Because it can't possibly be

that complicated.

Just tell him everything is fine.

I left everything in order.

Yes, I told him it would be there

by the end of the month.

I just told him that

there were extraordinary circumstances.

I didn't feel the need to explain it.

It's a family matter.

It's absolutely none of their business.

Tell them what it is. It's nobody's business.

Well, you're gonna have to say it

in the way that I'm saying it.

You have to speak to him in a certain way,

with a certain tone.

Otherwise, he won't listen.

...then, the newcomer,

who's all freaked out,

she has to cut the baby out of me.

And then my water broke. It was, um...

You know, I had to see it,

before I felt it,

because I couldn't feel between my legs.

But the water was ice cold, so, you know,

I sort of tried not to jolt,

and then it would come out and then...

I turned to her and I was, like,

"They baby's coming.

You have to cut it out of me."

- And I had rotted-out teeth.

- Really?

It was... A real winner.

I just wanted to finally...

purge all of that from my life.

I'd already cut out so many

worthless and negative people

who brought me nothing but annoyance

or distraction, so...

I figured, why should she be any different?

Because family is different.

No, they aren't.

Nobody gets a free pass.

- That's a horrible thing to say.

- It's horrible to feel.

I wish I didn't feel it.

I wish I could have relationships

with some people I can't.

But once they become just cyphers,

or...

you know, energy drains

or, or they become...

Someone who distracts or depresses me,

I have to have nothing to do with them.

I can't help it.

You can help it.

No, I can't. I've tried. I just...

hate them, and I hate being around them.

And I hate talking to them, and...

I love eliminating those enemies

from every aspect of my life.

I don't think I've ever heard an adult

use the word 'enemy'.

Oh, don't be naive. It's the only word.

I don't know...

I think I'm taking the high road.

I do!

That's just not very adult.

Well, you made the cut. I love you.

Let's celebrate that.

Lucky me...

- Yeah, watch your step.

- I don't want to be an enemy...

I made a salad for you.

It's good. You should eat it.

Thank you.

Sorry, I kind of, uh... spread out.

It was our only collaboration.

We wanted to do something together.

It was a beautiful portrait.

It just turned into

something else completely.

- Yeah.

- It became the image of his death.

So, I didn't want

anything to do with it anymore.

It was a morbid image.

We thought it was really funny.

Did you like working with him?

Yeah, he was a genius.

Is that a yes?

Well, he taught me everything.

And I know that everyone said that

everything I got was from nepotism,

but I didn't really care. I don't care.

I just thought he was not only my father,

but I admired him for being

a great artist.

Clichd, tortured...

suicidal...

I think Rich is coming by later.

What?

I, literally, didn't say anything.

Exactly...

Does he have to come by?

- What's the problem?

- I need you to... stay still.

I just thought

we were going to be alone together.

Yeah, that's what I thought last summer.

OK.

I... I love Rich.

- He's fascinating.

- C'mon.

Well... I just don't think

he's good enough for you. So...

I think he's just like everybody else.

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