Queens Page #5

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- All he needs is money, and I have it.

- So do I, so what?

Our sons will do what they want,

whether we like it or not.

If they go ahead with this,

I'm not going to help them.

I won't give them a cent!

Why are you saying that to me?

I'm convinced that way down deep

you think this is funny.

You didn't come here

to talk to me about money.

I don't know why you came.

Why did you come?

I invited friends over and

I'm going to cook a paella".

I'm going to get drunk and have

a hangover at the wedding, got it?

So I don't feel a thing, right?

- Where did that dog come from?

- I don't know.

- Did he get in at your house?

- I don't know!

Back off. We don't want

to have problems with him.

Come on. Come on, doggie.

Nice doggie...

Come on. Come out here.

Come on, doggie.

He's scared,

but he's not dangerous.

- How do you know?

- I've seen lots of dogs in my time.

This one has a friendly face.

Marilina? She's a female.

- She's a female.

- Yes, you told me. Thanks.

I still don't know

why you came here.

Tell me you came for this.

Not unless I've gone crazy!

I did a terrible thing. I'm sick.

If I had the guts, I'd kill myself.

I'm on the fifth floor...

Actually, on the seventh floor,

because the lobby is tall...

and counts for two floors.

I could smash my head

on the TV set.

They're showing a documentary

about a spider...

that is weaving... a web...

that's very complex.

Do you know that spiders

are nasty to their offspring?

You must take a Prozac right now

with your orange juice.

I screwed my son's fianc.

Give me a reason to get out of bed,

and look in the mirror...

and continue to feel...

...some appreciation for myself.

- What about him?

He must be in terrible shape.

He's an angel!

- We cried for hours!

- Well, basically...

...if all you did was cry...

- No, no, no!

No, we... did a lot more than cry.

- That's the problem!

- Over the phone I can't solve...

...something so...

- Amazing. You can say it. Amazing!

- What can I do this weekend?

- Three things:

Face the problem. What happens

between two people always surfaces.

- Only death has no solution.

- What a lecture!

Tell the truth.

It hurts, but, in the long run...

it's the best solution.

That is my advice.

Right.

- Hugo?

- Hello, Helena.

Your son isn't here.

And I just came in.

I called his cell phone,

but he didn't...

...didn't answer.

- I see. He didn't?

He didn't sleep at home last night.

Okay. If you see him, tell him that...

What happened last night?

Did you have another fight?

Was I the reason for it?

- I have to go to the registrar.

- Helena...

accept that your son

is in love with a man.

And that I am that man.

Goodbye.

Would you rather Hugo married

a woman, had children...

and sneaked out at night

to enjoy his sexuality?

Maybe his sexuality

would be different...

...if he hadn't met you.

- I didn't make him gay.

I just taught him

that he could be happy.

Taking him to bed?

It happened in a sauna.

What are you doing here?

- Did you spend the night together?

- The bachelor's party is tonight.

- I think I had it earlier.

- Where were you?

- Do you really want to know?

- I'm leaving.

Did my mother tell you that she's

not coming to the wedding?

- She'll be there.

- Will you?

Your mother is going to marry us.

I read about it on the Internet.

Are you going to marry us?

If after last night you are still capable

of going ahead with this...

yes.

I don't have a choice.

CITY KENNEL:

- What are you looking for?

- I'm looking for my sun glasses.

- I'm light-sensitive. Any problem?

- Here.

- What do you have against mothers?

- Nothing.

- Your mother's to blame, I know it.

- What?

The hate between you is sick. I saw

that she's more a hotel manager...

...than a mother!

- Are you going to meddle with her?

I'm sure that, when you were small,

you wanted a puppy...

...and she didn't notice it.

- I'm terrified of dogs.

Did you try therapy?

Is that person asking for help?

- Don't even think of stopping.

- He's handicapped.

- I'd never stop in Buenos Aires.

- But we're in Madrid.

- Something wrong?

- Get out, or I'll kill you.

- I warned you!

- You, too! Leave the purse.

- There's nothing in it!

- I said leave it!

Your wallet!

A hot dog with lettuce,

tomato and mustard.

- Beer?

- No, I'm on duty.

Is that your dog?

No.

Give me another one.

Make it two.

Actually, we were looking

for Marilina!

- Marilina?

- A dog.

She's a bobtail that has grey fur,

a white face. She's lovely!

Let's see. I didn't get it.

What do you want to register?

A lost dog or a stolen car?

- Both.

- Was the dog in the car?

No, we were in the car

looking for the dog.

I told him not to stop,

but he has a kind heart...

and is nice to thieves.

If we saw a mother with a dog...

...he would never have stopped.

- Anyone here handle dogs?

Marilina, my love!

Come here, come here, darling!

We did a good job of that.

Why didn't we ever do that before?

You've been here with me

like this many times.

In my fantasies.

I've had fantasies

about you, too.

Really?

You gardeners have been erotic

since "Lady Chatterley's Lover".

Is the myth still alive after this?

I have no complaints,

considering your age.

Could it be your son?

It's a quarter to two!

- Hey!

- Jacinto, what's up?

- Hi.

- How's the "paella"?

Horrible.

This morning I realized

that I had no garlic, onion...

or peppers. I had to go shopping,

and today is Saturday.

It was crowded! I just got back.

- We can have appetizers.

- I brought some cold beers.

I'll start it if you open the gate.

Good morning.

But isn't that...?

Wow, it's Carmen Maura!

Come on, people, last push.

Let's slow down.

Good. Let's break with the right leg...

and do our stretching routine.

We have to get dressed

and leave quickly.

- I'm having a water massage.

- Your dad will hold lunch for us.

- He's making a paella".

- I don't feel like one.

- What?

- You go.

Me? He's your father.

He makes the effort and introduces us

to his friends and you...

Come on, Rafa, please.

- Are you hurt because of yesterday?

- He put on quite a show!

- So did my mother!

- He has to prove he's a man.

He does it, so no one will think

I inherited my sexuality.

So? Do you want him to be happy

you're gay? Carve you a statue?

- Name a flower after you?

- He doesn't like me.

Fathers don't usually like their sons.

Be they gay, heterosexual,

or crab fish. You...

your only concern

should be if I like you.

- What are you doing?

- Licking your wounds. Let's go!

You have a message.

Ducky, ducky! It's me!

Come pick me up, please.

I'm at a police precinct!

What's the address

of this precinct?

scar.

- What happened?

- Ducky! What a disaster!

- What happened?

- Marilina has never done this.

- Naturally, it's all my fault.

- You must have done something.

- She never attacked anyone.

- I have five stitches in my hand...

and a bite on my neck.

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