Queens Page #6

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I came close to looking like Van Gogh.

Great, you can laugh!

- Where is the dog?

- She ran away again. He kicked her.

You're going to look great

at the wedding.

Who's wedding?

Don't be dramatic, Miguel.

So what that they stole your car?

- They stole your car?

- And my purse and passport...

and credit cards,

and my house keys...!

What house keys, mom?

They joined the kitchen's strike.

We have no housekeeping...

...room service, laundry...

- Sons of b*tches!

I had to hire temps, but nobody

wants to clash with them.

- I'm not giving in.

- They promised us a raise...

at the beginning of the year.

Five months later...

the company is lying

to its employees...

and asking us to carry on

and not demand our rights!

We want decent wages...

and we're not leaving

until they listen to us!

Down with the exploitation!

What is the police doing

about this?

They said that they are exercising

legitimate rights.

Isn't the government right-wing?

It used to be.

This company claims

to be progressive...

because it backs gay rights.

But I ask you...

do they mean the rights of all gays

or just gays that have the money...

to pay 500 euros a day to a hotel?

Less promises!

Keep your word!

Less promises!

Keep your word!

Every time the husband traveled,

the masseur showed up.

I thought:
"Wow, she must have

a serious back problem, right?"

Then one day I heard

the lady shouting: "Help! Help!"

I ran upstairs. Guess what I saw?

The lady and the masseur...

totally naked in the shower.

The guy had slipped.

So, I had to cover him with a towel

before the ambulance got there.

We wouldn't make a cent

telling these things on TV.

Not like Lady Di's butler.

Does Jacinto badmouth me at parties?

Take it easy. I like people to talk

about me as long as it's good.

Hey!

The tomato!

Right, of course.

Thanks.

- You invited your boss to the party?

- She is my son's mother-in-law.

Right.

- Right, what?

- Nothing.

I went to pee in your bathroom

and I saw your bed unmade...

and panties on the floor.

- They must be mine.

- They're La Perla.

- That's it, mine.

- For what this costs...

I can buy ten panties at the store.

- Hello!

- Hello!

Sorry, I had to take my sister and the

boys to Xanad, and I ran out of fuel.

I'm starving.

- Do you have Mdena vinegar?

- There's the vinegar.

Hello, I'm Mnica.

We haven't met, have we?

Well...

I'm this guy's I-don't-know-what.

What about you? You aren't...?

Mom?

I can't believe this!

What is that in your hand?

Panties?

Together at last, right?

Helena, thank you for coming.

Especially seeing as tomorrow...

is going to be a tough day

for you and for us.

Four martinis.

Thanks.

So, shall we check the menu?

Before we do, I'd like to tell you

about what happened last night.

You don't have to, mom.

Hugo told me about the drunk

at the restaurant.

I want to talk

about what happened later.

I'm sorry, I know it's going to be tough,

but I think it 's better for all of us.

We had sex. Hugo and me.

- What?

- It was entirely my fault.

I have a pathological problem

that makes me have sex relations...

at the worst times and with the most

inappropriate people and...

and this time I broke my own record.

- You and Hugo?

- You know I'm having treatment.

I spoke to my analyst this morning.

He suggested that I tell the truth...

before this snowballs

and runs us all over.

I've already been run over.

- I'm sorry, you can't come in.

- There they are. Come on.

We are on the eve of what is

undoubtedly the wedding of the year.

We're talking about Narciso Zambrano,

the famous deputy...

...who fights for the gay cause...

- Smile!

Were you drunk?

- No. I got drunk afterwards.

- My mother seduced you.

- That's not it, either.

- Then tell me what happened.

I'm a politician.

I can understand anything.

I just know that we had sex.

- Do you appreciate women?

- No, for God's sake!

If my mother hadn't said anything,

would you have told me?

Don't push me.

There's no undoing this.

Hugo, Hugo, Hugo...

Boss Magda, don't be a thief!

Boss Magda, don't be a thief!

Boss Magda, don't be a thief!

They're ruining my business,

and you're not doing a thing.

I'm sorry, ma'am. We cannot intervene

without causing chaos.

They're in the street.

Isn't that chaotic enough?

My son, what a mess! Thank you

for coming, but you cannot do a thing.

Mom, they stole furniture, paintings,

the car, even the curtains!

I'd call the police, but it won't make

a difference.

We don't even have beds.

We have to spend the night here.

You can have as many rooms

as you like.

The guests are leaving,

and we're canceling reservations.

This is a disaster.

If nothing changes...

tomorrow's banquet will be served

by pizza delivery.

Santiago, see to my son.

I have to wash my hair.

Two rooms, now.

Your mother has a lot of problems...

that's why the poor thing

cannot give you attention.

- Mom, you better shut up.

- Did I say something wrong?

You can leave.

You must have a lot to do.

I'll go with you.

I'm sure you're going to leave.

Hello! We meet again!

- Is that good-looking your son?

- Narciso!

Yours is 407.

For you and your mother.

- That 's enough, Miguel.

- I'll sleep in 407.

You are going to sleep together

like you always do.

Which is yours? 408?

I'll drop by later and make your bed.

I have a rehearsal at seven, so...

...see you tomorrow, mom.

- Bye, my love.

I'll see you later.

I'm not going.

Are you missing the wedding

tomorrow, too?

I don't know.

On the eve of our wedding,

I fought with my husband, too.

It's because you're jumpy.

One was asking the other:

"How much is two plus two?"

"Two, two..."

I swear it!

- She said she came for my sake.

- What a predicament.

She cares so little for other people

that it makes me wonder.

Did you like that?

Let's have another!

A kid says to his mother:

"Mom, 'bang'." And she died!

He's acting strange.

He never dances,

he only drinks Coca-Cola...

...and only smokes pot before sleeping.

- How about you? Wanna dance?

What? Not here.

Shall we dance?

Sure, let's dance!

Lovely, lovely.

Wow, she sure is nice!

Do you know what she said?

That you don't work for her anymore,

and the job is mine!

No way!

I spent half my life in that garden

for a jerk like you...

...to wreck it!

- What's bitten you?

- What's bitten me?

- Careful!

- Jacinto!

- Let's calm down, shall we?

- Let me go!

- No, no. You're drunk, dad.

Let me go, you f*ggot!

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

You owe your son an apology.

You irritated me

during the entire lunch.

I'm the most selfish

mother in the world...

and you're the dumbest father

I've ever met.

Don't leave me like this.

We're both villains.

- I don't want to see you ever again.

- Don't be so hard on me.

You know how hard I fought

for these marriages.

I'm a sick person.

Treat me like a sick person.

You wrecked my life one night

after you arrived.

Hugo loves you. I've never met

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