Queerama Page #2

---

Your son's not one of those, is he, Hilda?

(Telephone rings)

Where's Jo?

(Mother) Couldn't she come?

I'd so looked forward to meeting her.

(Pans clanging)

I tripped over the central heating.

I'm always falling over!

I hope I haven't wrecked it.

(Comic trumpet sting)

J" I've felt uncomfortable

Since the day that I was born

J" Since the day I glimpsed

The black abyss in your eyes

J" There's no way you could make

All of this sh*t up on your own

J" It could only come

From the mastermind of lies J"

My parents weren't affectionate.

And I always grew up

with a dislike for my father.

And a tremendous attachment to my mother.

There's nothing wrong

about that young man of mine

that a good woman won't cure.

(Priest) May the Lord

be in your heart and on your lips

that you may, with truth and humility,

confess all your sins,

in the name of the Father,

and of the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

J" I can't believe that

I've considered taking my own life

J" 'Cause I believed the lies

About me were the truth J"

May Father give me a blessing...

J" It will be magic

To watch your transformation

J" When you realise that you've been had

J" It's enough to make a guy

Like me feel sad J"

Yes, Sister.

J" 'Cause you tell me that

Jesus, he hates fruit loops, son

J" We told you that when you were young

J" Or pretty much anything you want him to

J" Like sitcoms, paedophiles and kangaroos

J" Morons who cut in line

J" Three-bean salad and parking fines

J" And when we win this war on society

J" I hope your blind eyes

will be opened and you'll see

J" The arrogance it takes to walk

J" Around in the world the way you do

J" It turns my brain to jelly every time

J" The rage and fear I'm feeling

Have begun to make me sick

J" And I think that

I might be about to commit a crime

J" And you tell me that

Jesus, he hates homos, son

J" We told you that when you were young J"

Men?

You look like a couple of queers!

Ah, don't take any notice

of what Dot said.

I tell you,

she had me worried for a minute.

Just because our Arthur's marriage

hasn't gone right yet,

you've no call

to talk about him being queer.

It's ridiculous!

Ain't it?

(Screams)

No!

Suppose there was.

Is that something to get at a lad for?

Well, it's not normal, is it?

Where you going?

To get a refill for my lipstick.

O Father, give me your blessing.

It is three weeks since my last confession.

And I accuse myself

of dishonouring my parents, many times.

J" 'Cause Jesus, He hates faggots, son

J" We told you that when you were young

J" Or pretty much anyone you want him to

S' Like n*ggers, spies, redskins and kikes S'

I don't know what's the matter with you.

You ain't normal!

- Aren't we getting off the subject?

- Shut up!

J" And when we win the war on society

J" I hope your blind eyes will be opened

And you'll see J"

Nature would've done it.

A father should help a lad like that,

not turn on him like the mob would

when it sees somebody different.

(Reporter) When in the end,

the penny dropped, how did you react?

With relief more than anything.

Relief that knowing,

of being certain at last,

what I was and how I fitted in.

I think uncertainty,

not knowing what you are,

not knowing how you fit into society,

this is the worst thing of all.

(Reporter)

The mother of one of the lesbians

who's appeared in this programme

told me how she discovered

that her daughter was homosexual.

How did you react at the time?

What did you feel?

Well, at first, terrific shock.

And fear, to a certain extent.

Not for ourselves and not for...

What people would think, really,

but fear for her,

what she'd have to face

in her future life.

I think that was the worst part about it.

A minority of lesbians

can be recognised as such.

(Reporter) This 19-year-old girl has worn

nothing but boys clothes for some years.

Well...

I was brought up with boys.

I've got no sisters.

I think I was more or less

a tomboy from the start,

from a very early age.

How do the shop assistants react

when you walk in to buy men's clothes?

Well, nine times out of ten,

they don't know that I'm a girl.

But there is the odd occasion

where I've gone into a shop

and they've said, "Yes, sir,"

and somebody has said, "ls that a girl?"

Good morning, sir!

Oh... Good morning, "miss".

Good morning. A red rose, please.

There.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- Good morning, Kate!

- Good morning, sir.

Could I have a buttonhole?

I haven't got any... A few violets?

That'll do nicely!

Do you mind if I pay on Saturday?

(Campy giggling)

Strewth!

What do you make of that, Sam?

(Laughs)

Well, boys will be girls,

and girls will be boys!

J" Stranger, when you look at me

J" Eyes strong as steel

J" Light as day

J" Born a mystery

J" You're the in-between

J" Boy or girl

J" Wilder, than I've known before

J" Fire rushes through every vein

J" With that smile that sings

J" You'll be killing me tenderly

J" Every word is soft as fur

J" I'm drifting deep J"

Yes, sir?

Get in there!

Come on! Move!

Crisp, sir.

Sit down.

Your hair's dyed.

Yes, sir.

A man dying his hair

is a sign of sexual perversion!

J" Stranger, will you remember?

S' Stranger, make me remember you S'

I am Dr Crow.

You are surprised?

Yes, I am.

I expected you to be a man.

- Or a woman...

- I am both.

With the combined

mental and physical endowments

of both man and woman.

You must have great difficulty

with your clothes.

- Do you read your Bible?

- Not constantly.

"Male and female created He them".

Male and female created He "me".

(Reporter 2) Steve and her girlfriend

don't often walk the street for pleasure.

There's too much risk involved.

Risk of public mockery.

Undisguised amazement. Crude jokes.

Many lesbians of course,

aren't so aggressively masculine as Steve,

and for them it's not so bad.

But for Steve, who is 24

and whose whole instinct

cries out to her

to feel and act like a man,

her appearance

makes her constantly vulnerable.

When I was 15 or 16,

I met this girl

and I was with her for six months

and I got engaged to her.

I really forgot that I was a woman.

And she thought she was pregnant,

because there are some things

that a lesbian can use

and I got away with using one of those

and she didn't know the difference.

And the next thing I know...

Her mother kept on

about us getting married,

so I thought I'd better get out of it,

because I knew

I couldn't get married to her.

And so then I hopped it.

Next thing, the police are after me.

The girl thinks she's pregnant

and they're taking me to court

for breach of promise and that.

They took me to court

and then it all came out,

that I was a girl.

(Reporter) No cure has yet been found

for the homosexual condition.

Perhaps none ever will,

but I asked homosexuals

if they would still choose

to remain homosexuals

if they had the opportunity to change.

No.

The society being what it is,

I would be heterosexual.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes