Quints Page #3

Not Enough Time.

Shhhhh.

Make Them Stop!

They Need Changing.

I Don't Care.

Just Make Them Stop,

Please.

We Need More Diapers.

No, Honey,

That's Not Possible.

According To The Baby Plan,

We Have 3 Dozen Left.

That Was A Few

Hours Ago, Honey.

No, But We Have

3 Dozen Left.

Dad! Past Tense.

We Had 3 Dozen.

But I--

Just Go

To The Store!

Go To The Store.

I'll Go. I'll Go.

You Don't Drive.

I Don't Care.

I'll Run, Then.

No, No, No,

That Doesn't

Make Any Sense.

No, No, No, Honey,

I'll Go To The Store.

Why? Because I Drive.

You Don't Drive.

You Stay Here.

I'm Gonna Get Diapers.

Dad, Dad, Earplugs,

Please.

Yes, Yes, Of Course.

And Honey,

While You're Out?

Get Us Help.

Right, Help.

[Whispering]

Enjoy THE SILENCE.

It MIGHT NEVER

COME AGAIN.

2 A.M.?

2 A.M.?

[Baby Whimpers]

No, NO, NO.

[Baby Quiets]

Good NIGHT.

Yup, I've Got

To Admit It.

You Couldn't Help

But Love Them,

But Remember,

This Is My Story,

Not Theirs,

And Here On The First Day

Of My New Life,

The Only Thing I Really

Felt Was Exhaustion,

So I Went To Bed

And Slept For Hours.

[Baby Crying]

Ok, Less Than An Hour.

Man, Those Little Lungs

Sure Worked Well,

And I've Got To Tell You,

At First, School Didn't Seem

Any Different, Either.

I Wasn't Loving

My New Life At All.

So, Do You

Feel Different?

I Feel Like

Drinking Coffee.

Ok, Fine, But After

The Baby Nurse Starts Today,

Why Is Your Life

Gonna Be So Much Better?

I Don't Know.

Well, Maybe Without

My Parents Watching

My Every Move,

I Can Get Into Magnet--

You Know,

Work My Own Way In.

That's It?!

Don't Get Me Wrong,

I Want You To Join Me

At G.W.,

But That's What You

Really Want To Do

With Your New Freedom?

Yeah. Isn't It?

Yo, Mr. B!

What Should Jamie Do

Now That She Has

5 Brothers And Sisters?

Uh, Learn To Make

Pancakes?

No, No, I Mean

In Her Life,

You Know, Here, School.

Oh, Well That's Easy.

Join Art Club.

Why?

Well, Sometimes

I Work Hypothetically,

And I Think,

Hypothetically,

That You Might Like

Art Club.

Sometimes I Work

Alphabetically,

And Art Starts

With An "A."

But I'm Not Good

In Your Class,

So Why Join Art Club?

My Heart

Just Isn't Into Art,

You Said So Yourself.

Where Is Your Heart,

Jamie?

Ah, Well, When You Can

Answer That Question,

Then You'll Know

Exactly What To Do,

But In The Meantime,

Art Club Could Be Fun,

And The Best Thing Is

No Grades.

That Is The Best Thing.

Plus I Hear The Guy

Who Runs It Is Pretty Cool.

Hey. Here.

Later At Home,

I Saw Changes.

The Pressure

Was Finally Off Me.

So What Do You Think,

Jim, Lawyer

Or Computer Programmer?

Both.

Oh, Wow. Any Careers

Left For Me?

Oh, Sweetie,

You Shouldn't Worry

About It.

Your New Brothers

And Sisters

Are Gonna Take Care

Of Everything.

Forget About School,

Jamie.

Your Only Job Now

Is To Have Fun.

Are You Buying This?

Anyone?

If You Did,

You Have To Stay Late

And Clean The Blackboard.

Still, A Few Moments

After Getting Home,

Something Pointed Me

On My Path

Towards My Real Problem,

Though It Sure Didn't

Seem That Way At First.

[Babies Crying]

It's Ok. Shh. Shh.

Shh. Shh.

Hey, Mom.

Oh, I Am So Happy

You're Here.

Uh, Zoe, Have You Ever

Changed A Baby's Diaper?

Uh, Do Dolls Count?

Ok, Maybe We Ought

To Start You With A Girl.

Boys Tend To Pee On You.

Eww.

[Door Opens]

Oh, Oh, I Hope

That's The Baby Nurse.

If I Don't

Get Some Sleep Soon,

I--I--I Don't Know

What I'll Do.

Well, Won't It Be

Kinda Weird,

You Know, Having Somebody

In The House All The Time?

Trust Me, Honey.

We Won't Even Notice

She's Here.

I Come To You

From Overseas

Babies, Babies,

And We'll Be Friends--

Oh, You Look Terrible.

You Must Be The Mother.

Well, Then, Have A Rest.

There You Go. Sit Down.

Go On. Have A Seat.

There, I'll

Take Control Now.

I'm Gonna Take Care

Of Everything For You.

Don't You Worry, Now.

Now, I See 1, 2, 3,

4, 5, 6, And 7.

Who Might You Be?

I'm Jamie,

And That's Zoe.

Well It's A Pleasure.

I'm Fiona,

And This Is My Room,

So Farewell.

Only The Immediate Family

Is Allowed Around Here.

Whatever.

But I'm

Their Older Sister.

Oh, My Apologies,

Older Sister.

You, We'll

Be Seeing You.

There We Go.

Bye, Grovers.

Good Day!

Good Day.

Whoo, 5 Babies.

We Have Our Work.

Join Me, Number 6.

My Name Is Jamie.

Good. You'll Be

Helping Me.

Chop-Chop.

Over There.

Soon I Could

Change A Diaper

In 7 Seconds Flat.

That Probably Wouldn't

Get Me Into Magnet,

But It Was

Kind Of Impressive.

Fiona Was Impressive, Too.

I Knew Right Away That Dad

Would Love Fiona's Methods.

Yup, Fiona Had A Plan, Too.

Number 1

Has Done Number 2...

At 3 P.M.

Oh! 1, 2, 3.

That's So Amusing.

Heh. I'm Laughing,

Really.

Ok, So Adam's

Done Number 2.

I'll Mark Down Number 2.

I'll List It.

These Quints.

Like Clockwork,

They Shall Pee And Poop

And Eat And Sleep.

But You Can't

Control Them.

They're Babies.

Ah, But I Am Fiona.

After This Day,

I Didn't Want

To Hurry Home To Help Fiona,

So I Found Ways

To Stay Later At School.

That's The First Odd Way

Fiona Helped Me.

Sure, I Was Petrified

My Folks Would Ask

What I Was Up To,

But I Took The Chance.

I Joined Art Club.

And, Heck,

I Could Always Rely

On The Classic Excuse,

The Baby Nurse

Made Me Do It.

Come On, Grab A Paintbrush,

Clay, Anything.

I'm Only Here

'Cause You're Here, Z.

I Don't Know What To Do.

The Motto Of Art Club

Is This:

When You

Don't Know What To Do,

Do Something You

Don't Know How To Do.

Wait, Translation,

Please?

Have You Ever

Closed Your Eyes

And Imagined?

Imagined What?

Exactly.

So Close Those Eyes

And Then Draw

What You See.

Try It. It Won't Hurt.

So I Started Drawing.

It Wasn't Getting Me

Into Science Magnet, I Know,

But It Was Better

Than Being Home.

Home Was Just Weird.

Now, Number 3

Wakes Every 2 Hours,

And Number 5 Eats

Every 4.2 Hours.

Here's Another

Life Lesson For You.

Mary Poppins Is A Myth.

Uh-Huh.

They Must Be

5 Must Be As One.

As One.

Uh...

Oh!

You, The Mother,

You Confuse Them.

Now, Schedule Is The Key,

As Mr. Grover

Fully Appreciates.

[Baby Passes Gas]

Oh! Like Clockwork--

Unfortunately,

Broken Clockwork,

But Fear Not.

I Am Fiona.

Yeah, Home Was A Mess--

Babies Everywhere,

Money Problems,

Exhaustion--

And I'm Not Proud Of This,

But I Used

The Family Troubles

To My Advantage.

Oh, No, No, No.

We Have To Send

6 Kids To College,

We Can't Afford

Coffee Anymore.

We Can't Afford

Not To Drink Coffee.

Honey,

Do You Realize

That Just Paying

For Diapers Alone

Is Gonna Empty

Our Bank Account?

Honey, We Can't

Afford To Pay Fiona

By Ourselves.

I Can't Work Doubles

Forever.

And I Never See You,

And You Never Get

To See The Kids.

I Know.

Quints Just Weren't

Part Of The Plan,

You Know?

Good Morning!

So, School's Going Great,

Math Seems A Little Easier,

And I'm In Art Club.

What's That, Hon?

Uh, That's Good.

Yup, I Chose

My Moment Carefully,

But Can You Blame Me?

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