Quiz Show Page #2

Once inside the isolation booth,

neither player can see the other,

nor can they hear anything

until l turn their studios on,

which l'm gonna do right now.

[ Barry ] All right, gentlemen ?

- He's not hurting sales, is he ?

- He just doesn't think he works.

- Why ?

- Look, l don't know.

l guess the sponsor wants a guy

on Twenty-One who looks like

he'd get a table at 21.

You just tell him l said Stempel

has an everyman quality.

You know that whole American dream

thing ? You, too, can be rich ?

- lf the ratings stay high.

- Very funny.

- l'm just passing it along, sir.

- [ Click ]

Every schoolboy knows about the

midnight ride of Paul Revere.

For 11 points, how many lanterns

were hung in the Old North Church ?

Who rode with Paul Revere ?

Who lent him his horse ?

Was it a mare or a stallion ?

And what was

the horse's name ?

- Stand by, Joe, on Herbie.

- Kill the air.

Tommy, air off.

Uh--

- [ Muted Ring ]

- A little tighter.

Kelly, put the sign up.

Control booth.

Uh, yeah, hold on, sir.

Dan, it's for you.

lt's Kintner.

Would you mind, Mr. Barry,

could l take the third part last ?

[ Barry ] That's fine.

The code was, uh,

''One if by land, two if by sea.''

Therefore, it would have to be

two lanterns in the Old North Church.

That's right. And the second part.

Who rode with him ?

- Dawes and Prescott.

- Dawes and Prescott.

[ Chattering ]

What these books

have conclusively proven...

is that the difference between men

and women is exactly 38 pages.

- Can l quote you, Mark ?

- Not before l quote me.

His own quotes are

his greatest pleasure.

Did you hear the market

dropped 30 points today ?

There's a rumor Eisenhower died.

- How would they tell ?

- Oh, please, don't get

Dorothy started on politics.

- There'll be a raid.

- Good night.

Good night, Dorothy. Sorry l'm late.

lt's impossible out there.

- You can't get a cab without a dragnet.

- Eisenhower died.

- What ?

- Professor Van Doren, l took

your course at Columbia--

''Hawthorne, Original Sin

and the American Experience.''

- Nixon is president ?

- Well, as silly as it sounds,

it changed my life.

- Was it the Hawthorne or the sin?

- Perhaps you'd like to meet

my son, the unmarried Van Doren.

- Oh, where is Charlie ?

- You're right again, Herb.

You got the first two parts correct.

Just three more for 11 points.

Excuse me.

Are you the son ?

- l'm Charlie. Pleasure.

- Elizabeth. The pleasure's all mine.

lt was a mare,

Mr. Barry.

How did he know that ?

- Oh, there you are.

- We're making our getaway,

Charlie, if you want a ride.

Have you ever watched one

of these quiz shows, Dad ?

The $64,000 Question

or Twenty-One ?

For $64,000, l hope they ask you

the meaning of life.

Okay, Herb, finally: Name the man

who loaned Paul Revere his horse...

for that fateful

midnight ride.

The horse.

Who loaned him the horse ?

- Okay, Herb, l'm afraid l'm going

to have to ask for your answer.

- Yes, Mr. Barry.

[ Kintner ] Look, just give him

what he wants. l don't want

to talk to these agency guys.

- So what do you want me

to do, Mr. Kintner ?

- You're a producer, Dan.

- Produce.

- [ Barry ] Would you

like more time, Herb ?

- Right.

- [ Herb ] lf l may.

Herbie's dead.

Larkin ?

Deacon John Larkin ?

That's correct for 11 points !

- [ Applause ]

- [ Sighing ]

- [ Fanfare ]

- All right, Herb, take a deep

breath and relax, will you ?

And we'll get back to the game

after this word from our sponsor.

Now, friends, l was just wondering,

what kind of a day did you have today ?

Did you greet the sunrise with plenty

of vim, vigor and vitality,

only to feel the wind go out

of your sails just after lunchtime ?

Do you find you're not having

as much fun as you used to ?

- This beats the subway,

huh, Mr. Stempel ?

- You said it.

- Hey, Dave !

- Hey, Herbie !

[ Cheering ]

You were the greatest

tonight, Herbie !

Great, huh, big guy ?

- [ Woman ] Hey, the

audience really loves you !

- Herbie, you remember me when !

Herbie !

l remember you when !

- Hi, Ellen.

- Hey, Herbie, what color was she ?

You looked so good

on TV tonight, Herbie !

- You should have gone for 11

on the movies, Herbie.

- You should win $100,000.

Hey, you were really

cookin' tonight, Stempel.

- Of course l watched it.

- You didn't go to the show ?

The genius is home.

The rich genius is home.

- l watched it on television

like everybody else.

- Would you tell him that--

You were great tonight, Herb.

Come on. l wanna dance.

Dance with me.

- Looking for the light

- Would you ask him for me,

please, right now ?

- Of a new love

- Mother wants to know why you

only went for 8 on the movies.

Because my real expertise is

pain-in-the-ass in-laws. Now

would you get off the phone ?

- l'm not gonna start with this.

- Tell him that everybody

is watching that show.

Steve Allen is gettin' a busy signal

because my mother-in-law won't shut up.

- Look, Ma, l got-- l gotta go.

- You're upset, and l don't

want to have to deal with it.

- All right. Good-bye.

- Call me before you go to bed.

That's all l'm sayin'.

What are you doin' ? My father

paid good money for this suit.

- He wore it to his own funeral.

- You make it sound like

it was the suit that killed him.

You wanna know why Enright makes

me wear that suit ? Because

it makes me look like a schmuck.

Yeah, well, stop actin'

like a schmuck then.

You don't get it, do you ? l go out

on the street, and everybody knows me.

Me. Herb Stempel. And they love me for

the same reason they used to hate me.

Because l'm the guy

who knows everything.

You should worship the ground l walk on,

what my family's done for you.

You wanna be worshipped ?

Go to lndia and moo.

Without my family, you'd be

on that show in your underwear.

Things are gonna change

around here, boy.

What does that mean,

everything's gonna change ?

You think l should

get my teeth capped ?

What's gonna change, Herbert ?

Everything's gonna change.

For us.

Hey, what the hell

were you thinking ?

Toby, that box

is the biggest thing...

since Gutenberg

invented the printing press,

and l'm the biggest thing on it.

We don't need your mother

and her money anymore.

Don't you wanna tell her where

to get off after 28 years ?

Now would you please...

dance with me ?

Dancing in the dark

Until the tune ends

We're dancing in the dark

And it soon ends

We're waltzing

ln the wonder

of why we're here--

Because of a disagreement

with his commanding general,

Ulysses S. Grant was virtually

placed under arrest for

a brief time early in 1862.

Who was the commanding general

of the Union army at that time ?

Oh, l know that. Uh, Halleck.

General H.W. Halleck.

That's correct.

Who was Sebastian Cabot...

- and what country was he

in the service of ?

- Hey, Terry.

- [ Van Doren ] He was,

uh, an explorer from Spain.

- That's correct.

- Who founded the former hub

of the Byzantine Empire,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes