Radiostars

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1

Today we have a rising star with us

throughout the show.

He's young, he's funny

and if you haven't yet seen him live,

his show's run has been extended.

Evening, Alex.

Evening, Marie,

a pleasure to be here.

Your real voice is just as good.

Thanks, but yours is so much classier.

I grew up listening to you

and I'm stressing out here.

You always wanted to be a comedian?

No, before,

it never occurred to me.

Before what?

Before last summer.

Actually, it's complicated.

What happened last summer?

Worse than a shrink. Merciless.

Tell us all about it.

It may be a bit long.

We've all the time in the world.

First,

I'll let you cue in the next track.

You can still do it?

Sure.

No problem, why not?

Welcome to

Up Close and Personal with Marie.

Know what? Let's take a break

from your usual artists,

like Garth Brooks.

Today I get to choose.

And my choice is Oxford Comma

by Vampire Weekend!

What've they got

that ours don't?

It's good sh*t, baby!

Isn't it cool in the back?

No, it sucks.

What if a paparazzi wants a shot?

Paparazzi? I'm unknown.

For now.

It's going to happen, trust me.

Why didn't Lauren come?

Hold onto her, she's cute.

Looks just like Anne Frank.

It's wild.

Come on, it doesn't matter.

Got that?

You can break out here.

Screw the Yanks.

Handsome, young and Jewish,

you've got it all.

For comedy,

there's more than New York.

With internet,

America comes to you.

Anyway, I don't give a damn.

Ben.

I believe in you.

I know you're funny.

Gimme a break!

I'm talking to my son.

He's my son, dammit!

You're going out?

It's on me.

I was thinking...

Now you're back for good,

stop by Henri's.

Henri?

Yes, Henri.

From the laundry.

Yes, Henri from the laundry.

Don't be such a little snob.

He knows people.

Like who?

People...

Tim Allen.

He knows Tim Allen.

He cleans his suits every week.

That cover it?

Hey, Ben.

You okay?

Yeah, I just got back and...

Gimme some space.

Douchebag.

Hold on.

Back off, will you?

You're too kind.

Up your ass, b*tch!

Steph?

You are. You're Stephane.

- Wrong, I'm not Stephane.

- You're not Stephane?

Sure, you're not. Yeah, right.

I'm not Stephane. A**hole!

Stephane's here!

Seriously, this is whack!

The guy's sorted his DVDs by genre.

Crazy genres.

Animals. Penguin Movies.

Panda Movies.

Nuts!

Either he's a genius or a total dork.

All 6 Beethovens.

He's a dork.

Beethoven is a good doss

but the rest are turkeys.

A doss?

A good doss. Good sh*t.

Doss replaces any word,

when you're too lazy to think of it.

Beethoven 6!

What did they do to the dog in No.6?

He becomes a Hollywood star

and a jealous trainer kidnaps him.

More or less.

You nailed the movie.

It's your house?

No, I had a St. Bernard, so I know.

Lucky boy.

I wanted a dog, my folks didn't

and now my chick doesn't.

She's a heeb.

Heebs don't dig dogs.

I'm Jewish and I had three.

Heeb chicks then.

- Alex.

- Nice to meet you.

Ben? F***!

- You good?

- And you?

How long's it been now?

Great, getting to know each other?

Come down after the show

and we'll talk it over.

What were you talking about?

Beethoven.

The Hollywood star.

Okay, off topic.

Ben's my stand-up pal from New York.

I told you about him.

And this is Alex,

my sweetheart.

That's me, the sweetheart.

He works with me,

presenting the Breakfast Club,

the hottest morning radio show.

They're in sh*t and need a writer.

That's why I told you to come.

So you want me to write for you?

It's up to you.

We're just some guys,

hangin' out, talkin' sh*t.

It's cool.

Yeah, sure. I mean...

Sure, with pleasure.

Stefano, Stephanus!

I'm not Stephane, f*** it!

I'm not Stephane.

Tell him fast.

See that?

Tim Allen.

- Nice shot.

- Very nice.

And that's what's his name.

TV star.

- Jerry Springer.

- That's right.

And that's...

the rapper.

Know him?

Not M.C. Solaar, the other one.

He knows all the rappers and singers.

I know him.

Tim will stop by for his suits...

He's not listening.

Ben, listen to Henri.

- You're listening?

- I'm listening.

Mr. Allen will stop by for his suits

this Friday.

You arrive, glance at me

and if I'm eating pistachios,

Tim's in a good mood.

Henri...

Shut up!

Shut your trap.

Then you'll have five minutes

to make him laugh, no more.

I'll push

the ironing boards back for you.

But if I'm not eating pistachios,

hold fire.

We'll try again next laundry day.

Master plan.

Thanks. I have work lined up.

What work?

I'm giving you your break.

- What're you doing?

- Thanks.

I gotta go.

- You're leaving?

- I gotta bounce.

Benjamin?

Watch movies and series!

What you call hell,

Arnold calls home.

Blast FM, No.1.

Blast FM,

back with the breakfast show.

Hell yeah!

What's going on?

We have an intruder.

Pull up a chair.

Come on in.

We can't hear gestures.

Sit him down and open up a mic.

What's your name?

They told me to drop by.

Told-me-to-drop-by.

Dumbass name.

Anything easier to remember?

We have 6 million listeners,

introduce yourself.

My name's Ben.

- Benjamin.

- Speak up.

Benjamin what?

Benjamin Jablonsky.

Okay, typically Moroccan.

You're Jablonsky?

That's what he just said, Alex.

You were a comic in NYC?

And now you wanna write for us.

No kidding.

I just got back from New York,

doing stand-up.

Guys, listen up.

Ben leaves the States

to break out in Paris.

Benjamin,

you usually go back to front?

A new date, you f*** her first,

buy her dinner later?

Benjamin goes to see Avatar.

On the way out,

he puts the glasses on.

Joke too long, Cyril.

Basically,

Ben kills himself,

then listens to Lady Gaga.

Smithers alert.

Smithers is agitated.

Coordinator Smithers has a joke for

us.

Ben, you rape a child,

then you give him candy.

Off limits.

- Most people do the opposite.

- Most people don't rape kids.

Back on charge, Smithers.

Forgive me if I don't laugh.

Hold on, guys.

One single reason

why we should hire you?

To be cool.

Don't you have 6 million listeners?

Not bad.

See you tomorrow.

6-9 with Arnold

and the Breakfast Club crew.

Remember, if your life's shitty,

you shoulda worked harder at school.

The Breakfast Show,

in front of the others

and behind your wife.

Smithers,

draw up his contract.

We pick him up just like that.

Yes.

Sorry, Arnold, but...

Might we know why?

Because I can.

Jeremie,

the CDs are for listeners,

not your homies.

Are you acc...

Not accusing you, I see you.

I wasn't gonna say that.

You totally played me.

You got me to hire your ex.

So what?

Benjamin Jablonsky took your cherry.

He was my 1st boyfriend.

- You start with tongue not cock.

- What?

What's your plan? I'll kill him.

There's no plan, Alex.

The guy's funny.

His dad told me he sells out.

You guys have been slipping.

Don't be such an idiot.

You'll get on.

What's the problem?

Sure, we can discuss your ass.

Like, how's it matured, Ben?

I don't know, check it out.

Can it!

Last night, you DVD-bonded.

Last night,

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