Radiostars Page #2

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he hadn't f***ed you!

What the f*** was that this morning?

Quit yelling, will you!

No new writers! We have no money.

Fine, this is Ben.

Frederico, our program director.

You'll see, he's an exceptional boss.

The answer's no.

No?

In NYC, they'd kill for him.

But you say no.

Lucky I went over your head

and they said yes.

Redial, if you don't believe me.

How much will he cost us?

Good question.

How much are you worth?

Ristretto, sugar +4, no swizzle.

43 seconds.

It's boxing!

I don't get all this violence.

Boxing is violent, Cyril.

Destroy the guy!

Take a seat.

Is this the audience ratings party?

No party. We're No.1

and we do what we want.

How'd you get in?

See the dork?

An ass but he loves us.

He's a fan.

Cyril, you loser.

Get off the phone!

Joystick!

Sorry, I got a text.

Go ahead, go for it.

Let's see some action.

Ready to rumble?

Hey, it's me.

What is it?

What is this sh*t?

What a combination!

You call that good news?

No, I don't.

Your joystick's bust?

I'll call you back.

There you go!

Screwed him.

Sore loser!

You got a problem?

What's wrong?

Wrong? Nothing's wrong.

Open up!

Hit pause.

What's going on?

This is private property.

The cops!

I'm gonna kick ass.

It's only a joint, it's cool.

Only a joint?

We shouldn't be here?

No, we shouldn't trespass

in a movie theater to smoke weed.

Let's roll!

We'll f*** them up!

Hold on.

I'll go. If they arrest me,

you can do the show.

You're all going to jail.

Hey, newbie!

We're the vag badges.

Come on.

Hey, girls.

You okay?

Police!

Goodnight, guys!

In 3 hours, we're on air.

I don't wanna be cr...

Crunked, okay.

We burn it up together

and head on over.

Goodnight.

Okay, bounce.

Forget it, he'll never wake up.

Very true.

Sh*t, who's on air?

This is Ghetto Jeremie,

the show that rips you a new one.

Ain't no pussyass...

French rappers here.

Only the real deal.

Notorious B.I.G,

2pac,

Big L...

Niggaz that checked out too soon.

I say to them...

Rest in peace, niggaz.

Missed you for the ratings.

The numbers came in.

How do you see it?

Pretty...

Good.

Yeah, nice.

Very nice. Congratulations.

Thanks.

We've been slipping

and now we're No.2.

No longer France's most popular

station.

You f***-ups

are putting the station in danger.

Happy?

Look, we'll get it back.

I promise you.

That's for sure.

Cancel your summer vacations,

you're going on tour.

On tour?

To every town in France

where you screwed my audience.

Yes, well, I don't think so.

Sorry, Frederico.

I just dropped five grand as a deposit

on a house in Porto-Vecchio.

A great house.

Cyril!

We're not going on tour?

Meeting people?

Yup, meeting people.

How about we blow each listener?

Watch the ratings soar!

Shut the hell up.

Be a smartass No.1, sure,

but we're No.2.

For the first time in 10 years.

The tour starts tomorrow

and it's low-cost.

We'll see you in Marseille

at the concert you host every year.

To assess the situation.

Either we're No.1...

or you...

I don't know.

You go back

to whatever you did before.

Is that a guy or a girl?

He's physically challenged.

Looks like Francoise Hardy.

Or Jacques Dutronc.

Yeah.

Sorry, what's your name?

Daniel(le).

Sh*t.

Wild! Daniel(le)!

Like it.

I mean, phonetically,

it's swinging.

Daniel(le)'s a great name.

And it's unisex.

Yeah, it goes both ways.

Sure.

Not under the bus.

Amazing. I was just thinking that.

What are you doing here?

Smithers told me that...

Learn to finish your sentences.

It's a pain in the ass.

Get in.

Your brain is 80 years old.

We don't speak, we don't talk.

About what?

Dude,

I know about Sabrina and you.

I know everything.

Dude, we dated in 9th grade.

She said. Don't bullshit me.

You're in cahoots.

I'm over Sabrina.

You got a chick?

- You really wanna know?

- Yeah, I do.

I just got dumped.

That's my break-up gift.

So screw you, her and your paranoia.

Can I look?

How'd she write on M&Ms?

You order them online.

Sh*t, that's mean.

But it's pretty cool.

- Can I eat it?

- No.

Smithers, this is Chaumont?

Relax, this is Chateauvillain

and the hotel's real cozy.

I'll know where to come

to hang myself.

Sh*t, look at that.

Why me, dammit?

Guys?

Guys! F*** it!

- Cool, you got swords.

- Shut up. Look!

What?

That!

What's that?

- What is that?

- What's up?

What's that?

- What's up, guys?

- It's a thing.

What's the doss?

- What's up?

- We don't know.

It's a pair of socks rolled up.

A pair of socks?

You put them on!

What a fine bunch of pussies!

Don't!

Rolled-up socks.

Sweet.

Try to find me a Diet Coke, please.

I asked earlier.

They only have regular.

In Paris, Diet's regular.

It's called the Paris Inn.

I caught him.

Is he out of his mind?

Dipshit!

It's only a little toad.

It's only a toad.

I only drank 17 Buds today.

I only assfucked my son

at harvest festival.

Dipshit!

Calm down, dude.

Get over your fears.

Bullshit.

I'm not scared of...

It's that idiot

with his half-assed jokes.

And his ballet shoes.

Once again,

you're freaking over nothing.

Know what soothes at times like this?

Only...

music.

Not so long ago,

I met a Tunisian collective.

Last time I went for a massage

but who cares...

Instead of laughing,

find us a guest for tomorrow.

All right.

Smithers!

Please do.

What the f*** are we doing here?

Look, we're on a journey.

Every time,

you find something nice to say,

even when we're in complete

shitsville!

Music, Arnold.

Mr. Final Word.

Has to end the conversation.

I'll leave you the final word.

There you go. It's crazy.

You'll see, he's not done.

I left it to you.

He never shuts up.

20 years, and he never shuts up.

Arnold, sound good for you?

One-two. One-two-three.

Perfect.

Can you make my voice clearer, please?

- Make it younger?

- No.

Screw you! Is that clearer?

Alex? Okay?

Yeah, okay.

Hello!

This is not a re-run.

I repeat, no re-runs.

Do you think

we'd abandon you, cut you loose,

for the whole vacation?

We're not guys like that.

Definitely not.

To prove it,

the Breakfast Show will be on tour

throughout the whole of France

throughout the summer,

in every town and city.

All thanks to our sponsor, Dead

Riders,

the killer drink!

Great!

Today we're in Chaumont,

welcomed by the mayor himself.

That's right.

Today Chaumont, tomorrow...

Thanks, Alex. Wide awake.

The Breakfast Show,

touring France all summer,

coming to your town

for those with no vacation,

the forgotten masses,

the holidayless,

the students and workers.

Don't worry, France. You're not alone.

Hell yeah!

The Breakfast Show on tour

all summer!

So here we are outside the town hall

in Chaumont...

So you're a falconer.

All I can say is, what's that?

It means using raptors like Richie

here

to scare birds

that are harmful to the community.

Quite.

A quick example. The pigeon.

No kidding.

The pigeons where I live are hell.

For the benefit of our listeners,

we have Ben, the rookie of the team,

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