Raining Stones Page #2

Have a look at that

for a leg of mutton.

Beautiful leg of mutton, that.

How much?

/Two-fifty.

No, I'II, I'll give you

two quid for it.

Two twenty-five.

No, two pound or nothing.

Sold to the girl over there.

Do you want a bag with it?

Yes, please.

There you are, love.

Put it in that bag.

Yeah, over there, love.

Have a look at them chops.

What d'you reckon, Cissie?

D'you want owt?

Breast? Chops?

How much?

One-fifty your chops, love.

Bit warm though,

aren't they?

Hello there Paddy, me old son.

Not Paddy.

Come to do you a favour, son.

Have a look at that.

Now you can f*** off!

I, I, that's not

very nice, is it?

Just f*** off...

all right?

Who d'you think you're

talking to, Paddy, old son?

I'm not a d*ckhead,

you know.

Eh?

Sudden death...

or a broken jaw?

Ah, just get your face away before

I tread all over you.

Okay, Pad.

Any time you like.

/Thank you very much.

Anything for the weeken, boys?

Anything at all, lads?

Jesus wept!

How'd you go on

in that vault?

Crap. Couldn't sell it.

Couldn't even give it away.

How did you do?

Four-and-a half quid.

Four pound fifty!

That all?

So where's all this f***ing money

we're going to make according to you?

Oh, come on Bob, you haven't given

it a proper chance yet, have you?

Give over...

We'll have to try some

other pubs, won't we?

The Carters Arms, the Horse

and Jockey and all the others.

I'll even take some of it

up to Rhodes.

Well, what do you say?

Okay, yeah.

Can we have a pint first?

Halfs.

Put your meat on the tray,

I'll put it in the back of the van.

'Scuse me, love. Can I have

two halves of bitter, please?

Bob.

/What?

Order us one of them meat

pies, will you, lad?

And a meat pie,

love, please.

Hello, Tommy...

/Hello, Tony.

By the way, Tommy, any chance

of that fiver you owe me?

I give it to young Bob to give

you. Hasn't he given it you back?

Nobody's given me

anything.

He's a bugger...

he gets me into all sorts...

I'll make sure you

get it back, son.

Okay, cheers, Tommy...

Ta-ta, pal.

"Send Joe to Lourdes all

donations welcome. "

There's your pie.

Ta, lad.

How's that young

Joey going on?

Little Joey Young?

/Aye.

You know me fell off

bloody roof. /Aye, I know.

And he wasn't even employed

bloody legally, was he?

That means he won't get a

penny back. /That's right.

Now joking aside, we're having

a bit of a collection.

See if we can send him

to Lourdes.

Did you hear about the kid from Liverpool in the

bloody in the bloody wheelchair they took to Lourdes?

They got him to the water's edge and he

couldn't get in because his legs was twisted...

so they had to hire

a little crane...

and pick him and the wheelchair up...

over the water... and submerge him.

And when he come out

they all had a look at his legs...

and his legs were

still twisted.

But the wheelchair...

had two new tyres on it.

Where's the van?

/It's gone, hasn't it?

I can see that, you dozy pillock.

Where the f*** is it?

Well, I don't know, lad.

It was there ten minutes, only.

Well, where's the keys?

You've left them in the

van, haven't you? /Yeah.

You dozy f***ing bastard!

You left them in the van!

I've a good mind to...

All right. Hang on. The bleedin'

police could have towed it away.

There was no tax, or nothing

on it, was there.

Excuse me, love, you've not seen a

green van go round here, have you?

A what?

/A green van.

No...

No, why, has somebody

pinched it?

I've only been in there

ten minutes.

You know, they're bastards. Take the

eyeballs out of your head here, they would.

Hey, lads, you haven't seen a van

being taken out of here, have you?

With all the meat in?

Took the lot, Walt.

They took everything.

Yeah, they've took the lot.

You know, I can't report

this to the police either.

It's not taxed

and insured.

Would've cost me fifty sixty quid

just to get it through the MOT.

That's twenty quid, innit?

/I haven't got it, mate.

Just don't have the money.

What am I gonna do, Tommy?

Let's go and have a look.

You haven't seen a van

round here, have you, son?

Oh! Where's your key?

How was our Coleen?

Our Coleen were

absolutely great.

You should have been there.

Yeah.

Yeah. Father Barry asked

her to read.

She just went up... I think

I were more nervous than her.

How did you go on?

We got us a sheep.

You want to watch it,

Bob.

Somebody catches you.

Look...

how much is this Communion

going to cost us?

For the dress?

Yeah.

Er...

we can't get her dress

without getting her shoes.

How much?

What's up?

Nothing.

What are you

snapping at me for?

I'm not snapping, I asked

you a question. How much?

God, you only just got in and

you're snapping at me.

I'm not snapping.

How much?

About seventy,

eight quid.

Jesus Christ.

I told you last night it were

going to be something like that.

Yeah...

What is wrong with you?

Eh?

I've had the van nicked.

Oh, Jesus!

Outside the Falcon.

I was only in there for ten minutes

with Tommy, flogging the meat.

Come out and me bloody

van's gone.

What you going to do?

I can't go to the police, can I.

I had a nice little scaffolding

job lined up with that next week.

Two or three days work.

At least it would have kept

our heads above water.

Now... I've blown it.

/Oh... it don't matter.

No wheels.

No job.

We'll manage.

/How "we'll manage"?

Where we going to find

that kind of money?

We're already

scratching as it is.

Sommat'll turn up.

All right.

Oh yeah? At least

with the van...

I could have done a few

days work. A bit here, a bit there.

But now! Now.

I can't get anything.

Look, there's no law that says

she has to have a new dress.

I say.

/Father Barry won't mind.

I'm not bothered about

Father Barry.

Look, that dress I got her

last year, that one'll be fine.

Oh, fine. She walks up the aisle

looking like a pauper...

while all her mates are

clobbered up to the hilt.

Will she heck look like

a pauper, don't be daft!

Listen, you had a Communion dress

when you... were a kid, didn't you?

Yeah, but... yeah...

Well so will our Coleen.

I don't know how long

it takes, or what I've got to do.

Anyway, how long is it?

/Only six weeks.

Well she's going to

get a dress.

How?

/I don't bloody know!

You're talking daft now.

How many bills have we

got to pay? Gas, electric.

Phone's already out and you're

talking about a dress!

I'm talking about the most

important day in our Coleen's life.

Is your dad down the Tenants

Association tomorrow?

Should be. Why?

/Just wondered...

You took your Pill?

/I always do.

I always feel like

I'm committing a sin.

Hey...

We're not f***ing animals just

because we've got on work, you know...

you're f***ing parasites!

Do you know

what you want? Eh?

You listen to me,

bollocks!

Do you know

what you want?

A f***ing revolution!

Do you know what I think

of you? Eh?

Here we go, here we

go, here we go...

So these two are yours?

Yeah, I've got another one at

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes