Raining Stones Page #3

home, Liam, who is eleven years old.

Right. These are both

under five?

Under five, yeah.

Is Jimmy in?

Er, yes. He's on

the phone, Bob.

Do you want to sit

down for a minute.

He shouldn't be that long.

Cheers.

So that's, that's your worse

problem, the electric, isn't it?

Well, that's my immediate

one, yeah.

Right, well, you'll have to

leave that with me.

I'll have to see what

I can...

I'll have to speak to somebody else and,

you know, I'll see what I can do about that.

Yeah... so what else

have you got?

And, um...

I had the, the sink in the kitchen

leaked for two years...

and the water leaked out and

ruined all the carpets and everything.

And so I had to replace all

the carpets and...

the, um, the Treasury Department sent me

a cheque for a hundred and fifty pounds.

The carpets cost me four

hundred quid...

I've got in here.

Listen, I've got to go to a meeting,

Jimmy. /I'm still not happy, man.

I've got to go to

a meeting, Jimmy.

Well, you're the Labour, you're

the Labour Councillor for the estate.

I said I'll see to it.

You've said that more times than

Soft Mick and it's got them no where.

That's a lie, Jimmy.

/Let me tell you this.

You'll not tell me anything.

Wait till we start holding the

rent back.

Then you will be in deep

sh*t, my friend.

You're not worth a tripe supper!

/No...

And no wonder that Labour keep

losing the elections!

Wants goosin' with the raw ends

of a pineapple, him.

Hello, Bob.

How are you?

Hiya, Jimmy.

/What is it?

Listen, you still got them rods

that Kevin Gill lent you?

Yes, somewhere in the house, lad,

yeah. What's up?

Do you think he'd

lend them me?

No problem.

No problem.

I thought I'd go out and earn myself

a few bob rodding a few drains, like.

You know, it's been

raining all week...

Well, why not?

Why not?

Give me a couple of

hours here.

Slip up to our house and I'll

sort them out for you.

Anne and Coleen all right?

/Yes, they're fine.

See you later on, son.

Bye-bye.

Yeah, cheers.

See you.

Hello, love, I'm in the area cleaning drains

and I wondered whether you'd like yours doing?

No. I'm a little busy.

I can come back later,

if you like.

No, it's all right, thanks.

I have my hands full.

Okay. Thank you.

Excuse me, mate...

/Yeah?

Do you want your drains doing? /Drains?

Yeah. I'll make a hell of a good

job of them, I'll set me rods out,

rod 'em out for you,

whatever you want.

No, mate. No, mate.

Nothing wrong with these drains.

Did them myself last week.

You sure?

/Positive.

Ok, thank you.

Fine, see you.

No, no. Thank you very much.

We've got somebody that does that.

Okay, thank you, love.

Bye.

Can you tell me

what exactly you do?

Yeah, what I do basically, is

lift your manhole cover off...

put my rods together...

/Yeah... hmm-mm...

rod it through and make sure

it's clean and clear for you.

Sounds a good idea cos we've

had blockages before.

Have you?

/Yeah.

Oh, then I'm your man.

/Sounds good, that.

I could get that done and then probably come in

and check your bathroom for blockagees up there.

Come in your kitchen, check your

kitchen with my plunger.

Sounds great. Just what

we need, that.

Get in, you.

/Why?

Get in. Shut it.

Listen pal, I don't care what

you're flogging...

whatever it is, we don't want it.

Now piss off!

All right, mate, yeah,

see you.

What have I told you before about going

out there with no clothes on and nothing...

I'm in the area

doing drains...

and I wondered if you'd like

yours cleaned out.

There's nothing wrong

with my mains.

I've had them checked.

Nothing at all wrong with

my mains.

Not your mains, drains.

No. I've had them checked.

There's nothing wrong with them.

Drains! D-r-i...

drains!

I keep telling you, there's nothing

wrong with my mains.

Not your bloody mains!

Your drains!

There's no need for that

language.

Oh, aye...

Anyway, I'm not bothered, there's

no need for that language at all.

So you don't want

your mains doing?

No.

/Ta-ta, then.

Ah, Bob!

/Morning, Father.

Can I help you?

I just wondered if you had any

drains that might need rodding out.

Well, that's very good

of you.

I have a manhole round the back

that needs to be looked at, come on.

You're the right man

in the right place.

Oh, my God!

Yeah. We sometimes have

difficulty in flushing the toilets.

That's because all the sh*t's coming

back on you, Father, and getting blocked.

And these drains look as

though they're collapsing to me.

You're going to need

new ones soon.

Oh, we can't afford it.

I'm sure if it wasn't for people like yourself helping

us for free, we'd never never get anything done.

Can I help you at all?

No, you step back, Father. I'll carry

on with this. I'll soon have done.

Okay, okay. Give us a shout when

you're ready and I'll put the kettle on.

Okay, Father, yeah.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh! Bloody hell!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Jesus! Jesus!

I think that did the trick,

Bob.

I think so, Father.

/Oh, my God...

I hope that fits you, Bob.

/Thank you, Father.

Every man has the right

to work, Bob...

and should not be subjected to the butt

of criticism when he fails to find it...

through no fault

of his own.

It doesn't work like that

though, Father.

No, but it should.

That's the way things

are nowadays.

Come on, and help yourself

to the biscuits.

Thank you.

About Coleen's Communion...

/Yeah?

There's no reason for you and Anne to

be going into any debt because of it.

We'll manage,

Father.

Middle-class parents don't

spend half as much.

That's because their kids run

round in new clothes all the time.

You can celebrate Communion

without any fuss or expense.

Oh, I know it's a Catholic tradition

to lash out on...

dress, flowers and

photographs...

but it isn't necessary.

But that's all part

of it.

Love and prayer is enough,

Bob.

I don't want our Coleen

missing out, Father.

She won't.

When she walks up

that aisle...

I want her to look as smart

as the rest of them.

Which she will.

This is her big day.

/Yes, I know that.

And ours. This is once

in a life time.

You'll not be... embarrassed if

I suggest something?

Depends.

The school has dresses available

to people who can't afford...

just for the day.

You mean cast-offs.

/Not at all.

I'm talking about dresses that

have been donated.

You're talking about dresses

that kids have worn.

In immaculate condition.

/No thanks, Father.

No one else would know.

Anne and I would.

It'll cost you a pretty

penny, Bob.

We'll manage

somehow, Father.

We'll manage.

Bye, now.

Have you worked since you

last signed?

No.

Hello, lad. You just been

to sign on?

Yeah...

Look, I'm sorry about

the other day with the van.

Ah, forget it, mate.

No, it were my fault. I should've

been more bloody careful.

Anyway, listen. You can now

do me a favour.

Anything.

What is it?

Go and get yourself

signed on...

then we'll go and

have a nobble.

Just do us a favour,

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