Raining Stones Page #6

moving here.

Eh, where are we?

The Con Club.

Conservative Club?

/Yeah.

We're not nicking their f***ing

turf, are we?

You're not a Tory, are you?

/No.

Well what are you worried

about then?

Yeah, the caretaker lives miles

away, there's no problem...

all you've got to do...

is heads down... arses up...

let's get into gear and make

a couple of bob, come on...

Here you are,

Kevin Keegan.

You get over here and take

this corner...

Hurry up...

What am I going to do?

Roll them over and take them

back to the wagon...

Come here...

Keep in a straight line, make them

about a foot long...

so you can roll them

up like a carpet...

Here you are, dopey arse,

you get over here.

Now go in sections

as fast as you can...

a couple of barows and

we're up the road, all right!

Now come, Dean, hurry up,

lad, will you!

Too early for this sort of stuff

for me. I've got a bad back.

Hey you, can't you keep up with

me here or what?

Oh, keep them neat,

will you, lad...

come on, Tommy

just make it safe there...

Oi!

Oh no!

Communist bastards!

We can pick up a roller from

a scrap-yard dirt cheap.

All you want then is a roll

of twine, a couple of pegs...

couple of banjoes, a plank,

a wheelbarrow and a rake.

We're on our way.

Yeah, to do the businesses

properly.

Now, it all depends if I get

my hands on a van.

Just put an advert

in the local paper.

And I'll need me phone

putting in.

Correct. As soon as a local

punter rings up...

I go down,

measure the job...

go nick the turf, lay it down,

get paid all in the same day.

You ever done it before?

Dead easy, lad, like laying carpet

tiles, isn't it?

Just make sure the underneath's

dead flat.

Where do we get

the turf from?

Parks, gardens, cemeteries...

And Conservative Clubs!

Well that's the best

quality stuff.

We get a few extra bob

for that, don't we?

But I've got to get

a van.

Where we going to

get a van from?

To ensure tenancy arrangement

under the private landlords...

So, where does the difference

come in?

The difference is you've got

no you've got no protection...

If you get any problems at all,

give us a shout.

Yeah, okay.

Hello, Bob.

/Hello, Jimmy.

This is my son-in-law,

Bob.

Pleased to meet you...

This is Ken Rider, councillor.

Second prize again, eh?

I hope you got it

fighting for the working class.

I've got to go now.

Give us a ring.

/Nice one.

No problem.

All right, son.

Listen...

I'm after a van. You don't

know anyone, do you?

A van?

Yeah, nothing fancy.

Have you got the money?

Depends on the price.

But without a van

I can't work.

Er... hang on, I'm sure there's

a card come in yesterday.

Cheers, Jimmy.

Yeah... this is it.

This is it.

Only come in yesterday

this, Bob.

Let's look at that.

Two-sixty!

Well he won't rip you off,

you know...

you know Cliff, don't you?

Cliff... oh, is that the little guy

always wears a boiler suit full of grease?

Lives on Hollins.

I'll give that a look at,

cheers.

You're looking a mess,

you know, son.

I feel a mess.

Listen, what did this Communion

dress cost you?

Oh, has our Anne been talking?

Anne hasn't mentioned

it, son.

Young Coleen's been coming around

telling me all about it...

and I put two and

two together...

you know, it must have cost

you a bomb.

Yeah, a good few

quid, yeah.

But I'll manage.

Aye, so I see. Look.

/No, you look!

I've got a lot of respect

for you, Jimmy...

but this is none

of your business.

Bobby... we're family.

Look, I got meself in this mess,

I'll get meself out.

Not through the Church

you won't, son.

What's the Church

got to do with it?

Because you're looking for

answers and there isn't any...

because they're part

of the problem.

Look, you've got

your beliefs...

I've got mine.

Okay?

No, what you've got

is fear.

And five Hail Marys ain't

going to help what ails you.

Because all this religious

mumbo-jumbo...

all it does is tire your mind

and stop you thinking for yourself.

Look, Jimmy, the last thing I need

right now is a lecture.

Or a sermon.

No what you need is a job

and there aren't any.

Oh, now tell us something

I don't know.

When you're a worker, it

'rains stones' seven days a week.

And then it pisses

down on me.

Ah, not only on

you, Bob...

you see, you're walking around

with this individual guilt...

and this is what they want.

It's destroying you.

God knows, you know, given half

the chance I know you're a grafter.

It's not done us much good,

though, has it?

We never invented

the system, son...

but it's up to us to change it.

What's that?

/Slanging match.

Smack-heads!

But she can't be any more

than fifteen.

You've got my ring!

I haven't, Ellen! I haven't

got your ring!

Well you've got me money then,

haven't you?

No! Cos I want to score

tonight as well.

You're a liar!

You're a liar!

I need to score tonight.

You know for a fact...

What chance have they got?

You know, one or two might

slip through the net...

but for the rest of them,

it's, you know, it's mapped out...

it's all cut and dried.

They've got no work...

no hope...

it's all despair.

All the they've got is crime,

booze, drugs...

families just breaking up.

And do you know, it could be

a lovely estate to live on.

Do you know, we're like punch drunk

fighters hammering at each other...

instead of us getting together and sharing

around the power for us to make all the changes...

and that's all it is in a nutshell,

the rest is propaganda.

It'll do about thirty to the gallon

on the road.

Let's have a look round here...

Hang on, hang on a minute,

Tommy...

Well, you have a look.

I'll have a look here.

Yeah, but Tommy...

Oh, come on Cliff, play the game,

look at the bloody bodywork, son.

What's wrong with

that?

Jesus Christ, there's more filler

here than on Barbara Cartland's face!

There's some spots of fillers...

Look at that, the tyres are

bleedin' baldy.

They're remoulds.

Yeah?

Yeah, well, you don't see

the tread with remoulds, do you.

You're joking,

aren't you!

I've seen more rubber on a

bleedin' French letter!

You must have a big

French letter.

You've got new tyres

on the front!

Hey, Cliff... I'm having it.

Right, how are you

having it, then?

Is there any chance of us, er...

knocking the price down?

Oh, here we go now,

knock it down!

How many owners has

it had?

Owners! Only one owner!

Who was it, f***ing Ben Hur?

/Who's Ben hur?

Come on, Cliff!

Does he live on the Estate?

Cliff, Cliff...

I'm buying the thing, right?

Can we knock it down to

two hundred?

How can you do that,

I've got to make some money...

He's lost his mother! I'm going to lose my

wife if I sell it for any less than that.

Two hundred?

No, two sixty, and

that's it.

Cliff, I haven't got that

amount of money on me.

What about if we can come

to some sort of deal?

Can I pay you weekly...

So you're paying half the price of

the two sixty, right?

And a tenner a week.

Can you manage that? I don't

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