Raising Helen

" I need a Ken doll pilot

with a sexy smile and a flying limousine

" To pick me up, go the extra mile

and deliver me to the scene

" I need five more hours

in the average day

" One to get the work done, four to play

" Be a devil and angel

You know what I mean?

" Stand back

" Out of my way

" Stand back

" You're crowding my day

" No time for good manners, do what I say

" If you're not here to help

then you're just in the way

" The road is littered with the faint of heart,

the fools who fell from stress

" It's a fact of life that you can't catch up,

better learn how to love the mess

" So I'll just kick back, ignore the noise,

have my way with the pretty boys,

" What I dream at night

don't even try to guess

- " Stand back

- " Stand back

" Out of my way

- " Stand back

- " Stand back

" You're crowding my day

" Now this is my time

to step up to the mike

" Like rock'n'roll lightning

I'm ready to strike

- " Stand back

- " Stand back

" Oh

- " Stand back

- " Stand back

" Stand back

What do we got here? One,

two, three, four beautiful ladies. Come on.

Caesar, let 'em in.

Nice. Not you. Too random.

- Hey, Tinka. What are you doing?

- I'm waiting for you.

Oh, no. You can't become a supermodel

waiting in the middle of a line. Follow me.

- Evening, Jimmy. This is Tinka.

- She's with you?

Are you kidding? I'm with her.

She's the next big thing. Look at her.

Well, that may be, but she's not on the list.

Let me see that.

Look at that. She is now, stud.

- Come on.

- Let 'em in.

- So that's how it works.

- Who was she?

- Hey, what about us, stud?

- We've been waiting for an hour.

" The books I've read

" And this heart of mine

" I've booked ahead to the other side

Hey, Rufus.

Hey-hey.

- What's happening?

- That's what's happening. Who is she?

Close your mouth, Rufus.

It's Tinka. Everybody knows Tinka.

I'll give her a shout out.

Hey, that girl on stage

with the serious moves is Tinka.

Dominique Modeling Agency.

Good morning.

No, Caitlin's not in this early.

I'll connect you to her voice mail.

- Hey, Lacey.

- Good morning.

Two calls from Paris, one from Milan,

and both need you to call back right now.

Ouch! Come here, Shelby.

Sweetie, don't kick Mommy.

Lacey. You brought Shelby again.

Dominique's gonna kill you.

- She's getting picked up at 7:30. Shh!

- Watch out.

- Sweetie, you want to color?

- Yeah.

Dominique Modeling Agency.

Good morning.

OK, you can send

your picture and resume.

- Thank you.

Dominique Modeling Agency.

Good morning.

No, Dominique's not in yet.

Can I give you her assistant Helen?

Thank you.

Hello, it's Helen. Hi.

Bonjour, Didier. Non, non, uh...

OK, Jean Paul, so let's go over

who you booked for that shoot again.

Yeah, just to be sure. Varusha,

Segrid Olafsson, Malak, Tinka...

Tinka?

I don't have a Tinka. Who is Tinka?

Morning, Lacey.

Is that the new one? Let me see.

- Dominique's here.

- You smell funny. Is it baby powder?

- You need to sign these, please.

- Who are you?

Mary. I'm the new intern.

Hope you're here long enough for me

to remember your name.

Du kannst den Fotografen

nicht warten lassen.

Dominiques Modelle

kommen nie zu spat.

Dominique? Dominique, here are

the gentlemen for the Lola ad.

Hm.

"Every man."

Well, they're not every man. Do better.

I demand to have her first.

Let me speak to Dominique right now.

I need the list for the shoot. Yes.

Oh, you've heard about Tinka, have you?

Well, if you want her,

she's gonna cost you double, you know?

She's very popular.

Good. We got a deal. Bye.

I love new clients.

Thank you.

Caitlin.

No, no. He looks like a model.

No, he's just too beautiful.

We need a, you know, everyman.

A bloke. A really, you know, nice...

Dominique.

You see. That's a bloke.

Excuse me. You with the water.

What's your name?

Gary Hagelnick.

Um... Cia.

Would you photograph him, please?

Vieni qua, facciamolo.

- I don't do naked... any more.

- Scusa.

Take some test shots.

I think he's our Lola guy.

- Lindsay's going to love it.

- I'm so late.

- Listen, have fun with your sisters tonight.

- Mm-hm. I'll call you on my way back.

OK.

" Happy birthday to you

" Happy birthday to you

" Happy birthday, dear Mom

- Aunt Helen's here!

- Aunt Helen's here!

Hang on. Hang on.

Hi. How are you?

I'm so glad you're here.

And you smell good.

- Thanks. Here.

- Hey, Aunt Helen.

Yah! Oh!

Dad, are you really taking Mom

to Atlantic City?

- Yes, I am.

- Helen, look what I got.

Your first fake ID.

Congratulations, "Mrs Gonzales"?

- It's the only name they had.

- I'm gonna show her my new turtle.

- Hey-ho.

Sorry I'm late. I've just been working my...

- And what were you two...?

- Oh, nothing.

- Talking? Talking?

- Just girl talk.

No, no. Just catching up.

Do you want something to eat?

Are you hungry?

- No. I'm fine. I ate.

- I can make it up.

I am stuffed.

I ate an apple on the way here.

Sorry, Jenny.

OK. So. And...

" Happy birthday to you

OK, make a wish, honey.

See, they couldn't put all the candles on

there or else the smoke alarm would go off.

I love this. Thank you.

You're welcome.

- OK. Who's this? This is Jenny?

- Yes.

And I wonder what it is. It must be...

Potpourri.

No. You're all wrong.

It's not potpourri.

It's a make-your-own potpourri kit.

Oh, it's great. I love it. Thank you so much.

- Who's next?

- Oh, me, me, me, me, me.

- Me, me, me, me, me.

- Oh, yay. Oh, yay. Oh, yay.

"Lindsay, just remember...

...you're never too old

to dance around in your underwear."

No way.

Oh. Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, my gosh. Look.

- Oh, no. Devo.

You got the hats.

Where did you find these?

I couldn't believe it. On line.

Of all places. Bored at work.

- Remember this?

- Yeah. I do.

I remember you kinda

looked like fire hydrants.

- Remember the moves?

- Do I remember the moves?

Just see if you can keep up. Come on.

" Crack that whip

" Give the past the slip

" Step on a crack

- Come on, honey.

- Oh, no, no, no. Oh, look at you go.

- Let's whip it good.

- Oh, gosh, no.

" When a problem comes along,

you must whip it

" If the cream sits out too long,

you must whip it

" When something's going wrong

" You must whip it

- " Now whip it

- " Into shape

" It's not too late

" To whip it

" Whip it good

" When a good time turns around

You must whip it

" You will never live it down

Unless you whip it

" No one gets their way

- Good shot, Mom.

- Good shot, Mom.

- OK, step out. Holy Toledo.

- Huh?

What is going on?

Jen, our little sister has grown up

and turned into a dance-club tramp.

Please. You should talk. You had your fun.

Yeah. That was fun,

but I was never a size two, you traitor.

Hey, we would have won

if we'd played horse.

Audrey, Henry, no video games

until you clean up the den.

- Mom!

- Oh, honey.

- Night, Mom. Night, Dad.

You're looking good out there.

Thanks, Dad.

The coach said I can play in every game.

- That's great.

- Good night, everybody.

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