Raising Helen Page #2

No, the birthday girl

should not be doing the dishes.

- I agree.

- Yeah.

I'll go change my shirt

and I'll come back and take over. OK?

OK.

You guys are such a Pottery Barn

catalogue. How did that happen?

Woo!

It's like they've never seen a dress before.

Um... They just haven't seen

half of a dress.

You know what you were saying

about the Pottery Barn catalogue?

You know how you get there?

You meet the nice guy,

you get married,

and you get to experience...

The miracle of life.

- Oh. Oh.

- Oops.

Well, I don't know

why I bother talking to you two.

Hello in there.

Will I be seeing you in four months?

Yes, I will. I hope you like potpourri.

Yes, I do.

And I hope you like Tupperware parties.

And lots of flowers. Lots of...

It's true as well. I do, I love 'em.

I love flowers.

- " I wanna feel what love is

- " I wanna know what love is

- " And I want you to show me

- " I wanna feel it, I wanna feel what love is

- " I wanna feel what love is

- " Ooh, baby

Thank you, guys.

All right, all right. Thank you.

That was great.

Helen and Devon. That's enough.

Keep it down, I got neighbors.

I don't know any of them, but I got them.

- What are you wearing?

- I don't know. Whatever they put on me.

You took these from the photo shoot?

You know you're not supposed

to take the clothes you model.

Oh, right.

So I guess I should take 'em off.

I'll help you.

- What is this?

- Oh, bubble wrap.

The photographer wanted me

to look more buff.

- Ooh.

- You like that?

- Hey.

- Mm.

" I am extraordinary

- All set, Ms Rosenthal.

- Oh, finally.

Come on in. Thank you for waiting.

Any minute. Any minute.

Christopher, don't make me call for a pizza.

Any minute.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

Hi. What is this? Sunday brunch gridlock?

Oh, I know. They just keep on telling us,

"Any minute now," like it's a mantra.

Can we wait like normal, patient adults?

- No.

- Christopher. Hi.

- I would like a Bellini, please.

- Bellini.

- Ooh, yes. Bellini.

- Bellini. Bellini.

It's my sister.

Jenny, can I call you back?

- Jenny.

- Acceptable guys at 12 o'clock.

Jenny, slow down. I can't hear you.

Are they looking at you or me?

What?

Oh, no.

- Oh, no, Jenny.

- Helen, what's the matter?

- Look at Helen.

- Jenny...

Helen, what happened?

Hello. What is it?

Honey, what happened?

What?

Are you sure?

Jumped the center divide and he slammed

into them. They didn't have time to react.

- That's what the police think, anyway.

- I'm sorry, Ed.

I remember when

they bought this house.

So what happens now with the kids?

- Oh, hey.

- Do the kids have any grandparents?

Yes. Paul's parents came from Miami.

They just barely made it today, so...

So sorry.

I'm so, so sorry about your aunt and uncle.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, thank you.

Reverend Hallin spoke so beautifully.

Thanks again, sweetie.

I'm so sorry.

- So sorry for your loss, Jenny.

- I know, sweetheart. I know.

It smells like Mommy in here.

Guys.

A lot of people are waiting

to pay their respects.

I'm sure they'd appreciate it

if you all came downstairs.

We are gonna get through this.

All right?

Hey, do you mind going to the market for

me and getting some blue party napkins?

Now? I mean,

can't we use something else?

Helen.

I've planned the funeral and I've...

I've made the food and taken responsibility

for three very scared children.

All I'm asking you for is four packages

of blue, three-ply dinner napkins

with a seashell design, so that people don't

remember our sister and her husband

with paper toweling on their I...

on their laps.

All right.

- Terribly sorry.

- Thank you.

Hi, I'm Wanda from next door.

If you need anything,

my phone number's on the casserole.

- Thank you.

- And I'm Rudy from across the street.

I also wanted to pay my condolences.

Everyone loved Lindsay and Paul.

All right. Come on through

and give your brother a bounce pass.

There you go. Get it up. Yes!

Very good. OK.

Now you give Sarah a bounce pass.

Come on, Sarah.

Come on. Come on, sweetie.

"Section 5."

"Custody and care of the Davis children."

"An account and trust has been set up

at Maplewood Savings Bank,

in the names of Audrey,

Henry and Sarah Davis."

"This bank also holds the mortgage

on the Davis property at 207, Oak Street."

Yes, Larry, and that mortgage is quite

large. We do need to talk about that, also.

We will.

"With regard to custody

of Audrey, Henry and Sarah,

we hereby appoint sole guardianship

of all three children,

imbuing her with all legal rights and

responsibilities that guardianship entails,

to Helen Harris."

What?

- What?

- It's not a mistake.

I prepared this for them myself.

They were very clear. Helen Harris.

Jenny should have them.

I... She's got kids. I...

She's got the mom haircut.

She's Supermom.

She left a letter for each of you

explaining her decision.

You know I handled your mother's will.

Lindsay and Paul's was equally specific.

Good Lord, Lindsay.

Can I read yours?

Helen.

- Are there any contingencies?

- Yes.

If Helen is either unable

or unwilling to care for the children,

- then you, Jenny, are thusly appointed.

- OK, finally, some reason.

Thank you.

God, why didn't you start with that?

Can you imagine Helen raising three kids?

When should I tell them?

As soon as possible.

- Are you sure?

- Yep.

But we all thought...

Nope.

It's gonna be hard to take care of us

if you're dead too.

This?

Won't kill me for years.

Who's gonna take me to school?

I guess I am.

- And make me chicken fingers?

- Me.

- And give me a bath?

- Me.

And check my nose boogies for infections?

We'll find someone else

to do that last thing.

Come here.

All we gotta do is stick together.

Everything's gonna be OK.

Thanks for trying, Aunt Helen,

but it's not gonna be OK.

Come on, Sarah. It's time for your bath.

Come on, Henry.

Good idea. Great. Uh...

You guys do that, while Aunt Helen

is gonna go out and check the lawn.

Is Aunt Helen older than you, Audrey?

Get farther down.

Is she playing hide-and-go-seek?

I don't think so.

We are in deep sh*t.

I love New York pizza.

Aunt Helen, can we go to

the Statue of Liberty tomorrow?

No, because we won't be here...

- Where's Henry?

- He said he'd be right back.

I go to the bathroom for five seconds,

and he's gone?

- With mustard. Here it is.

- I didn't want mustard.

- You don't want mustard?

- No.

All right. No mustard.

- There he is.

- Henry!

- OK? Who's gonna pay for this?

- Aunt Helen.

- You can't do that. You can't just leave.

- I hate pizza. I wanted a hot dog.

- Can you pay Aaron, please?

- I'm Aaron.

Hi, Aaron. I like that he's

making new friends. It's lovely.

Talk me up!

The next time you want something

like a hot dog, you tell me, OK?

- And we'll all go together.

- OK.

- Where are we going to dinner?

- This is dinner.

Gee, Mommy never

let pizza be our whole dinner.

And Dad always said

not to eat and walk at the same time.

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