Raising Helen Page #3

Well, they're not here

to yell at us, so it doesn't matter.

How many beds do you have

in your apartment, Aunt Helen?

- Aunt Helen!

- Audrey, your knee.

- Stop!

Hey, guys. Shh!

I'm telling you,

if we don't go to sleep right now,

Sleepless Sally gets really upset

when the kids aren't going to sleep.

Where's Sarah? Sarah?

I'm right down here.

Henry's feet stink. Phew!

- But I'm a man.

- Give Aunt Helen a whiff.

I don't want to smell your feet.

- Ew! I can smell them from here.

- Ew!

Ew!

Henry!

You need to wash your feet

not once a week.

Good night, all.

Audrey, get out of the bathroom.

Fire! Fire!

- Aunt Helen?

- Hm?

Why are we going back? This was great.

We should spend more time here.

- More time?

- Yeah.

We can move here.

We can't sleep every night

in a stinky-feet bed.

We'll move to another apartment.

It's a huge city.

You'll be closer to your job and everything.

You love your job.

- What about Henry and Sarah?

- What about them?

They've got school. They have friends.

You guys grew up in that neighborhood.

That's why. It's a sad neighborhood now.

Everywhere we go there,

we think of Mom and Dad.

- The kids treat me differently.

- We will discuss this later.

Please think about it, Aunt Helen.

OK, we got a train to catch. Let's go.

Henry, stop brushing your teeth.

They're gonna fall out.

- I can't get Hippo in the bag.

- Oh, give it to me.

OK.

There. He's in the bag.

Are you happy now?

Henry!

Now, the only thing to do

would be to tell Aunt Jenny.

Thinking about it, Audrey.

I will think about it.

- Tell her we voted.

- I'll think about it, Audrey.

I understand the children's feelings,

- but that's not part of the plan.

- That's your plan, Jenny.

All right, well, what about the idea

of not selling Lindsay's house?

I know you guys offered to pay

the mortgage, but it's enormous.

I spoke to the bank,

and the mortgage is too much for us.

All right. Besides being my idea,

what's wrong with moving down the block?

I mean, I think

the calm of the familiar is better

than the overwhelming

hustle-bustle of the city.

Guys, can you please keep the coloring

on the eggs and not each other?

Oh, no, no, no. No.

Jenny, Sarah thinks that Hippo's parents

are on vacation. That they're coming back.

Henry walks around like a zombie

and draws skeletons.

- Audrey is my only ally.

- You really have to watch her.

Look, they're not happy.

And they've told me themselves.

They're not gonna be happy

anywhere right now.

OK, OK. Wait. Wait.

Let us talk for a minute.

Wait till you see what the Easter Bunny

brings. He's gonna bring lots more eggs.

The Easter Bunny's not coming.

The Easter Bunny joined 50 Cent.

- Why are you being a brat?

- You're a brat.

Helen is right.

A change might do them some good.

And if it doesn't work out,

they can always move back here to Jersey.

Ew, you got some in my hair.

- You know what? You know what?

- Oh!

- Oh, no.

- You're not very good at this, Aunt Helen.

- Stop it!

- Irwin's after ya!

- Turtles carry... carry diseases.

- Stop it. Sarah, please.

We have to find an apartment.

We need to help Aunt Helen.

OK? By being quiet.

Stop it.

Stop.

No.

Chelsea. No.

You know, I hear there's

some pretty decent stuff in Queens.

No. We are not bridge-and-tunnel people.

We are Manhattan people.

Oh, wow.

Four bedrooms. Close to Central Park.

The owner wants it rented quickly,

so he's asking what is very reasonable

for a New York apartment.

Only nine thousand a month.

" I feel like an android living in a Polaroid

" Just another reject, it gets a little seasick

" Whose life am I in?

" Feels like deja vu,

don't know what to do

" Point my finger to the sky

and finally ask the question why

" Whose life am I in?

" Whose life am I in?

" Whose life am I in?

That's the girl looking at 4B.

- One bathroom. That's it?

- Yeah, well,

I'll put you on a waiting list if a two opens

up. And look at this - flower power, huh?

So I guess Audrey

can have the back room

and Henry and Sarah can share the middle

one and I'll just sleep on a pull-out couch.

Wow, graffiti.

Sure, there's plenty of room for a pull-out

couch here. Look, you got a nice view.

So, the ad said something about a visual

security system. How does that work?

When somebody buzzes, you stick your

head out the window and you look down.

That's the visual part.

Then you yell for them to come up or not.

That's the security part.

Here's your keys.

Welcome to the Astoria Arms.

I am only available between 8:30 and nine

in the morning because I have a life.

So...

home!

Yeah!

I ordered the pizza.

It should be here in 30 minutes.

Yay!

Um...

Know what, I bet this is lead paint.

Guys. Guys, guys.

Don't chew on the windowsills, all right?

Yeah. Stick to the table legs,

like I taught you.

OK, come on, guys. Let's go, let's go.

Sometime today. Into the bedroom.

This window is also painted shut.

You know, I mean, for 1200 a month,

you'd think you'd have windows that open.

- I want this bed.

- Look, for the tenth time,

in the old house I had this bed

and you had that bed.

- But I want this bed.

- That's it! Hippo goes out the window.

- Followed by Irwin.

- Guys!

Stop fighting. He pinches her all the time,

and hard. It's hard.

Thank you.

- So, it's not that bad, right, Jen?

- No.

- Hi.

- I'm Nilma Prasad. I live across the hall.

Here's some samosas

that we made for you.

So that would make you my neighbor.

This is my neighbor,

my friendly neighbor, Jenny.

Nilma, I'm Helen.

- No, I'm Nilma.

- I'm Helen. That's Jenny.

I snagged this one in the hallway,

screaming.

- It's OK, Flora. Mr Costello's deaf.

- I'm not.

So I see you have kids too,

so maybe a play date sometime?

Oh! Oh, my goodness,

that would be wonderful.

Great.

- I'm Jenny, Helen's sister.

- Hello.

- Can I ask you a special favor?

- Yes.

- Helen is new at being a mom.

- Uh-oh.

- Exactly.

- These aren't her kids?

- Our sister passed.

- Oh, I'm so sorry. Bless her.

- So, Nilma, if you could from time to time...

- Oh, absolutely.

- And if they...

- Which they will, no?

- You could...

- No problem.

- That's all I'm asking.

- OK, say no more, please.

- Thank you so much.

- OK, no problem.

- Just mommy talk.

- Oh, right.

So, Helen, where have you decided

to send the kids to school?

Got it covered.

It's just middle school

and you'll both have to be separated,

- all three of you.

- No.

I vote against separation.

You know, maybe we should find a school

with less policemen everywhere.

Audrey. Hi. Let's go.

Come on, guys.

This cab's gonna be about $100.

- That girl is fine.

- Hi. Yeah, she's pretty.

Nice, Audrey.

Thanks for making my life a lot easier.

I don't like school, anyway.

I mean, I'll just drop out and get a job.

I like school.

I wanna go to school. I want to.

Aunt Helen, you promised

you'd find us a school.

Oh, God, help me.

Slow down. Stop.

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