Raising Helen Page #4

That was fast. Kids.

Lisa, stop dragging your sweater.

" This little light of mine

" I'm gonna let it shine

" Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

" This little light of mine

" I'm gonna let it shine

" This little light of mine

" I'm gonna let it shine

" This little light of mine

" I'm gonna let it shine

" Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

" Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

" Let it shine

" Let it shine

" Let it shine

I mean, Lutheranism

has been in our family for as long as

Lutheran people have been around.

Being a Lutheran is the greatest.

I mean, right, kids?

Hippo wants to be a Lutheran, too.

Hippo is a Lutheran.

I knew that God told us to move here

so that we could attend your fine school.

A good, solid education

taught our Lutheran way is the best way.

- I mean, isn't that right, Father?

- Pastor.

- Father Pastor.

- Pastor Parker.

Right.

Thank you for that fine testimonial.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Well. I'm just gonna need the kids'

transcripts and blood tests and they're in.

- Blood tests?

- Make sure they're really Lutheran.

You'd be surprised

how many non-Lutherans try to sneak in.

I'm sure. Um, problem.

They're all hemophiliacs.

All three of them. Can't take blood.

- Shh. They're sensitive.

- It's a joke.

Why would I joke about hemophilia?

There's no blood test. That's the joke.

Oh.

You don't have to be Lutheran to go here.

It's Queens.

There's, like, 50 Lutheran kids

in the whole neighborhood.

Shall we take a look around?

So we have space available.

Can you handle the tuition?

- Not a problem.

- Tetherball!

Oh, yay!

Henry, we have basketball courts,

gym down there.

- Saint Barbara's believes in basketball.

- Oh.

So what's the Lutheran take

on the afterlife?

Pretty much the standard

heaven, hell, purgatory thing?

- Pretty much. Old school around here.

- You wanna go see the basketball courts?

- No, I'm gonna go play tetherball.

- OK. Play hard.

OK.

Pastor Dan.

Hello.

Excuse me.

Mrs Fricker, I know what you got there.

- I made you some special brownies.

- Wow. You, uh... I'm gonna...

- He gets a lot of brownies.

- I see that.

Mm. Better than last time.

- Hi, I'm Phyllis Shore.

- Helen Harris.

- This is my daughter Lisa.

- Hi, Lisa.

- Will you be joining us at Saint Barbara's?

- I hope so.

- Thank you. I'll see you Sunday.

- OK. Bye-bye.

- See you Sunday night at vespers.

- See you at vespers.

See you at vespers.

You know what vespers is?

Some kind of scooter?

Close enough.

We got ten minutes. You don't

want to be late for your first day of school.

Audrey.

- Please get out of the bathroom.

- I'm not in there.

Can't do it.

I don't remember how.

Sweetie.

- I don't remember how.

- What's the matter?

- Your shoes? Here, let me help you.

- No! No!

Sarah, sweetheart,

we have to go to school.

- OK? Let me help you.

- No! That's not how. You don't know how.

Sweetheart, are you nervous about today?

I mean, it's a big day at school.

Mom was teaching her

how to tie her shoelaces just before.

Oh.

Right.

And I guess she had

a special way of tying them.

Well, your mom and I

were probably taught the same way.

Let me think. Something about...

Bunnies.

Bunnies.

Right.

Bunny ears.

You make two bunny ears,

bunny goes around the tree,

into the burrow,

pull tight.

Yeah. Yeah.

- Hurry up, hurry up.

- When will you be home from work?

By dinnertime. Audrey's in charge, though,

so listen to her, OK?

I don't wanna listen to her.

- Pastor Dan.

- Pastor Dan.

- Well, it's the four Lutherans.

- Here we are.

Here you are.

Pastor Wells, would you please show

Henry and Audrey to the home room?

Sure.

- Hello, Audrey.

- Bye.

- Bye. Pay attention! Sit up straight!

- Good morning.

Wait, what about lunch?

- Eat it, it's healthy.

- I meant, we don't have any.

Oh! Right. I'll take care of it.

Bye.

- Can you break a 20?

- Always got change in the collection plate.

- And kindergarten?

- Right over here.

Oh, wow, look.

It's a juggling pastor, Sarah.

Hello, welcome. Mrs LaGambina.

- Helen Harris. This is Sarah.

- Hello, Sarah.

Look at all this fun stuff.

You've got markers and crayons,

coloring books, and all the nice people.

Hi. You're gonna have such a good time.

We were all drawing our

favorite animal. Lily was drawing a cat.

Sarah, do you want some crayons?

Oh, no, not those.

Those are the teacher's markers.

Better put your sweater on,

it's chilly outside.

OK, that was funny. Sorry, Sarah.

- You could've just told me.

- More fun this way.

- Who's this?

- Hippo.

Everybody, meet Hippo.

All right, all right, all right.

Enough. Come on, let's get started.

Hi, Lacey. Hey.

Helen.

- I told you I'd make it back.

- Good. Sit down, sweetie.

- Who's that?

- That's the intern.

Move over, intern. Caitlin, move.

OK, good.

Now, what about the Armani deal?

Is that gonna be completed in my lifetime?

Tom made it happen this morning,

and you're all set for your trip to Miami.

Good. You're gonna love it there.

- Me?

- Well, yes. You're back, I need you.

Dominique, I... I can't just pick up

and leave for a week right now.

- Why?

- I have...

Oh.

The babies. Oh.

All right, who wants to take this mummy's

place on a first-class trip to Miami?

Caitlin. You're on.

Helen will tell you what to bring.

Don't wear any of those

midriff-baring outfits. It's so last year.

And I want my luggage

Federal Expressed ahead of time.

Right, that's it.

Lacey, who am I having lunch with today?

- Was it Vogue, or Elle, or...?

- Vogue at Cipriani.

OK. Good.

Good to have you back, sweetie.

We'll go over everything else

at the fashion show tonight.

Tonight?

Unless, of course, you've got

a Brownie meeting or something.

Oh, no, no, no. I'll be there.

- Good.

- OK.

- Hola!

- Sweetheart, over here.

- Hi.

- Who's your date?

- His name is Pate.

- Big smile.

Thank you. Please take

your seats. The show's about to begin.

That's Martina, the supermodel,

sitting next to Dominique.

Who are the ladies on the end?

Those are the agents

we're trying to steal her from.

Hello. You have a lovely agency. Yes.

I think we should have lunch.

Take the houselights out and go Cue One.

- Hi, Teddy.

- Hi. Kids, don't touch the runway lights.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Thanks.

- Hey, hi.

- Front row seats!

- What's all this?

- There's no room.

Can you squash down

just a little bit more?

- Don't these children live in Queens?

- I know.

I know. I couldn't find anybody

to watch them.

But don't worry, you won't even know

they're here. I'm here to work.

This child's wearing pajamas.

Aunt Helen, I'm hungry.

- You should've eaten your hamburger.

- It had onions.

OK. Take care of her a sec.

I'll be right back.

- Keep an eye on her.

- You're going?

Keep an eye on Sarah.

Hey, partner.

- Working on your lingerie merit badge?

- I'm a buyer from Victoria's Secret.

You're with Helen and you should go back

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