Raising Helen Page #20

So I'm thinking over

the things that you've said

I'm thinking over the things

Thinking over

Thinking over

Thinking over the things that you've said

And I'm thinking over

Thinking over

Only you know if he's the one for me

So many thoughts in my head

There are two roads to walk down

and one road to choose

I'm thinking over

(man on TV) Mm-mm.

Smells like sunshine.

Hi, I'm Mickey Massey. Um...

I've been married for a long time now,

but my wife and I don't have any children,

so my cars became my babies.

I know. That sounds obsessive.

But you don't know the joy I feel

when I find them a good home.

I mean, look at these beauties.

What's not to love?

Massey Motors. Come visit us.

I love my cars. And you will, too.

(man #2) Massey Motors. In Queens.

(announcer) Now back to

the Saturday six o'clock movie.

- (phone rings)

- Phone call, Mr Massey. It's your wife.

Thank you. Thank you, Sharon.

Hello, Diane.

Oh, please. I look like I always do.

Good night, Tim.

Thank you very much.

Sure I will...

Hold on a minute.

- Hi.

- Helen, you've come back to work.

Oh, no. No. Mickey, I need to borrow a car

desperately. It's an emergency.

- Sure. Use one of the test drives.

- OK.

Hey, you were great on TV.

Sure, I looked great, but did I sell any cars?

I'm sorry.

- Eddie, I need this car.

- You can't take this car. It's Mr Massey's...

I know, but it's the only one

with a full tank of gas. I have to go.

What movie star did I look like? Well...

Helen, I think you misunderstood.

Ed. Ed, who do we know with a Jaguar?

Could be a celebrity

coming to knit with you.

- (dog barks)

- Origami, Origami. Shh.

- (doorbell)

- Origami.

Helen.

- I'm here for my kids.

- OK. I'm listening.

I don't know who I am any more without

them. I need them and I want them back.

OK, let me see if I've got that.

You need them because you want them,

because you don't know

who you are without them.

See, all I'm hearing is "you, you, you."

But this can't be about you.

It has to be about them.

What don't you understand?

I love those kids.

Whether or not you love them

was never the question.

It was whether or not you could raise them.

The power to take the kids back is yours.

This is not a power struggle

between you and me.

This is me asking you

to do the right thing for everyone.

The kids aren't packed. It's too late

for them to go anywhere tonight, anyway.

Ed, can you let Origami out?

Come on.

The bases are loaded. Jeter's up.

(Origami barks)

I'll be right back. Ed.

I mean, don't you hear him?

Hi.

Hey, Henry, Audrey. I miss you guys.

- You guys heard all that?

- Yeah, we did.

Hey, you left Irwin back at our place. Why?

It's not really Irwin.

My Irwin had a skull and crossbones

that I drew on his stomach.

Why didn't you say something?

Seemed you didn't want me to know.

Sarah, honey, why don't you go play

with turtle and figure out a name for him?

I just couldn't stand the idea of you losing

something else you cared so much about.

Can I put him in a bowl?

Yeah.

Sarah, you wanna help Henry

with the turtle?

Can I name him Hippo?

Why do you want

to name everything Hippo?

Because I can spell it.

Audrey, sweetie, can you do me a favor

and get me your wallet?

Why?

Could you just do it, please?

Open it up and give me your fake ID.

- Why?

- Because I said so, that's why.

I'm not gonna give it to you.

I'm not a child.

Yes, you are.

You are a child, Audrey,

and you have a right to a childhood

and you should fight for it. But if you won't,

then I will. Now, give me your ID.

That was very adult of you.

You tricked me. I thought you were

on my side, but you're just like her.

I hate you.

Do you hear me? I hate you.

Well,

I'm just gonna have to live with that.

Well, we don't have to decide this tonight.

Jenny. What are you doing?

At first, I didn't agree with this letter,

but...

Sit down.

No, I think I'll swing.

In fact, you know what they say?

- What?

- It's not over till the fat lady swings.

See? I can make a joke.

"Dear Jenny,

if you're reading this,

you know that I am gone,

and I asked Helen

to be the guardian for the kids."

(Lindsay's voice)

And you're probably freaked about it.

Yes, it's a surprising choice,

considering that you are the most

incredible mother I've ever known.

If you find this letter odd, understand

that my always-be-prepared Paul

convinced me to write it now,

while our children are young.

(Sarah makes popping sound)

You must know from experience

that when it comes to picking

somebody else to raise your kids,

no one seems right.

No one is you.

(mouths)

And so you choose someone

who is most like you.

(mouths)

Someone that will give the kids

a taste of their real mom.

The mom they lost

and never really got to know.

In so many ways, we are so much alike.

That's why I chose Helen.

They're all yours.

Of course, she'll have lots of fights

with the kids,

yet she'll find a way to make up.

Welcome to the mamahood.

I know sometimes she messes things up

and makes big mistakes.

On the other hand,

she also makes big comebacks.

Respect her, Jenny. Give her a shot.

We're family, and I'm counting on you

to keep everyone together.

I know Helen

will certainly need some help

learning how to be a mother to my kids,

but I've got you for that,

and who could be better?

OK.

After all, you raised Helen.

You'll teach her how to be a mom. Just

like you taught her how to tie her shoes.

I can still hear you telling her:

"The bunny goes around the tree

and into the burrow."

Pull tight.

Yes!

(Henry) It's about time, Sarah.

( "Whip It" by Devo)

Before the cream sits out too long,

you must whip it

Now whip it into shape

Shape it up, get it straight

Go forward, move ahead

Try to detect it, it's not too late

To whip it, whip it good

( "Feels Like Rain" by John Hiatt)

Down here the river

Meets the sea

And in the sticky heat

I feel you open up to me

Love comes outta nowhere, baby

Just like a hurricane

And it feels like rain

And it feels like rain

( "A Love Like This" by Mark McGrath)

There's a love that I'm feeling

when I look in your eyes

It's the same way I'm feeling

when you're looking in mine

All the stars form a circle

around you and I

Without you there's nothing

There's one thing you should know

As we sit here all alone

Just come in close,

there's something I should say

I been thinking, wishing,

hoping, praying

In your heart is where I'm staying

A love like this doesn't happen too much

Even less than never

like the sun and moon together

A love like this, oh

I've been thinking, wishing,

hoping, praying

In your heart is where I'm staying

A love like this doesn't happen too much

Doesn't happen too much

( "Extraordinary" by Liz Phair)

I am extraordinary

If you'd ever get to know me

I am extraordinary

I am just your ordinary

Average everyday

sane psycho supergoddess

Average everyday sane psycho

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