Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

Someone's coming.

Someone's buried here.

They're going to blow it up.

Juuso!

Juuso, wait!

BORDERZONE. NO ACCESS

I think Santa is buried up there.

Juuso, is Santa Claus dead?

What a baby. You still believe in Santa?

Come on.

- They've been lying to us.

- To you.

Who was the Santa

who came to our house then?

Mr. Piiparinen.

Haven't you figured that out yet?

Do you think Dad knows?

Your dad pays him for it.

Don't you get it?

This whole Christmas thing is just a bluff.

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS

THE FIRST SANTA CLAUS

WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY?

Santa walking barefoot in the snow.

Ancient Santa byhis cauldron.

DAY TO CHRISTMAS

Pietari!

Wake up, Son!

Pietari! Are you awake?

Yeah, yeah!

Then go and get cleaned up!

Vuppe, bad boy.

You were supposed to keep watch.

Dad!

Come here, Dad!

Come inside if you have something to say.

I don't want to.

You shouldn't be out there alone.

Really, I've got something

important to tell you.

Really, the wolves will gobble you up.

And I'm not kidding.

Dad, I'm coming in now.

Close your eyes, Son. Daddy's working.

You shouldn't have turned the lights off.

Who'd ever look at them at night?

- Have you been on the roof?

- What?

Outside my window?

I'm too busy to answer stupid questions.

- Have you or haven't you?

- No, I haven't.

Maybe the chimney sweep-

Go and get dressed! We're leaving soon.

Where to?

Don't you remember what day it is?

Yeah, the round- up.

You're taking me along?

I thought you'd be dressed by now.

He's spying on us.

This is yours now.

Is it loaded?

Of course or it'd be useless.

And take those goggles off.

Have you got a light?

Where's your dad?

They had to take the snowmobiles.

Piiparinen couldn't get the chopper started.

Keep away from the fence! Three, two, one!

- You really think you can use that?

- Of course I can.

- You gonna shoot Santa Claus?

- He was outside my window last night.

I thought you said he was dead.

- Electric fence.

- How do you like it?

Protection.

The explosions in the mountain

have sent the wolves on the prowl.

Wonder what they're digging up there?

Just samples, I guess.

Look!

They're coming!

Dad, Dad!

They're coming!

Our freezers will soon

be brimming with meat.

Open the gate.

Out of the way!

Come on!

Get in here, now! What's keeping you?

Two skinny runts.

Something's wrong.

Maybe the others got lost.

No, they didn't.

Merry Christmas.

You stay here.

- Me, too?

- Keep an eye on Pietari.

What kind of wolves would do this?

Big and nasty ones. Come and take a look.

Those morons and their blasting!

Now we have to deal with

Russian wolves as well!

They found the hole.

This was cut with pliers.

This is our fault.

If you go crying to your dad,

I'll give you a flogging.

Wewere never any where near the gate.

We should shoot that lot of idiots.

They've probably gone by now.

It's been quiet for days.

If it wasn't for that border,

I'd make minced meat of them.

- We have insurance, right?

- No, we bloody well don't.

433 carcasses.

Aimo, how much is that worth?

Around $85,000.

Plus 22%VAT.

All that money's been rotted away.

He sure was hungry.

What do we do?

We'll pay them a little visit.

Nuts!

The guards have been paid

to shoot anyone who comes near.

Crossing the border is not a small thing.

Neither is bankruptcy.

Pietari, come on!

This was one hell of an idea!

These boys left in a hurry.

Come and see!

They found him, Vuppe.

Seismic researchers, my ass!

They've excavated something.

What on earth did they dig up?

So much for that.

What are you doing?

Aren't you going to open it?

No.

Tape these on your bum.

Are you serious?

How do I look?

Like a kid in a diaper.

You brought me here just for this?

Look.

The real Santa was totally different.

The Coca- Cola Santa is just a hoax.

These are from some fairytale.

This isn't.

- What is this?

- Proof that some fairy tales are true.

What am I looking at here?

The real Santa Claus.

He tears naughty kids to pieces.

Not even their skeletons are left.

How did he end up there?

The Sami people got angry

and lured him onto the ice.

The ice broke under him.

The lake froze solid and Santa was trapped.

Come summer,

they dug out the huge ice block...

and buried it under a sky- high pile of rocks.

- And it became Korvatunturi Mountain?

- Yep.

You're such an idiot.

When did you last get smacked?

When I was little, I guess.

Do you think we should confess?

Listen, you brat.

You have any idea what your dad will do...

when he hears that those reindeer died

because of you?

Are you making gingerbreads?

Are you hungry?

Yeah.

Were you playing hockey?

No, it's just this game we play.

Pretty rough game?

Yeah.

These are good.

Just like Mum used to make them.

I'm glad to hear it.

Dad, what if l didn't exist?

What do you mean?

If l disappeared.

You should disappear...

to your bed. It's late.

Dad, do you think I've been good?

All good boys are in bed by now.

Merry Christmas, Dad.

Merry Christmas, Pietari.

DAYS TO CHRISTMAS

Stay there. I have to check it.

Do you think this is funny?

I almost got killed.

You are not going skating now!

You're grounded this Christmas.

I have to wee.

Come on, Vuppe. Let's go out.

Dad! Dad!

- What is it?

- The bait's gone!

Careful now.

Stay there.

Did you hear me?

Stay!

Some kind of bird.

What is it?

Nothing.

- Can I look?

- No.

Some bird took the meat.

- I want to see it!

- There's nothing down there.

Why can't I look then?

Because we haven't even had breakfast yet.

Is this really all we're having?

These are good.

If l eat these, can I go

and look down in the pit then?

Then you'll have some more.

Are you angry with me?

No.

Wait here.

Did you hear me?

You're grounded.

-Just preparing for my Santa gig.

- Shut up and follow me.

Come on, Vuppe.

He shouldn't have come

snooping around in people's yards.

Greene, Brian Jonathan.

Born 1952.

Must be one of those nutters

from the mountain.

Not even 60 years old.

What are you going to say?

To who?

Everyone.

Nothing.

You know those wolf pits are illegal.

Darn it, Piiparinen!

Like it or not, you're in this too.

- I should...

- Shut up...

and think, if you know how.

I have an hour to my first Santa stop.

Vuppe, stay.

Did you see that?

He's breathing. Tough old codger.

What is he doing?

He smells something.

Pietari.

Pietari!

You were supposed to stay inside!

Pietari, come back here now!

- Did Pietari see him?

- What do you think?

I have to go. What do I do with him?

Have a little chat.

The cops!

Pietari, Pietari!

Blast it all.

What's he up to?

- Hiya.

- Hi.

- Why the fancy dress?

- What?

- Is everything in order?

- What do you mean?

What a morning!

I've been all around the village.

Strange stuff going on.

Well, everything's fine here. Right, Pietari?

Then you're an exception.

You brought the whole murder squad?

- What's the problem here?

- My other business.

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