Ratchet & Clank Page #3

Prepare to die,

Galactic losers!

Come on, come on!

Executing command,

and engage mag-booster.

Is it working?

Oh!

I do believe it is.

Target acquired.

Huh?

No way.

Yeah!

Oh, yes.

You're getting this, right?

Two civilians

are saving the city!

There are 300

heavily armed warbots

gaining on us!

I know! Isn't it great?

Get ready to

return to sender!

Terminating mag-booster

on my mark!

Three, two, one...

Mark!

No, no...

No!

What happened?

You got to be kidding me!

Get out.

Taxi!

Ah!

Hmm?

All right, everyone,

let's give these heroes

some breathing room.

I'm happy to

field all questions

on their behalf.

Captain Qwark!

Juanita Alvaro,

HoloVid Nightly.

The Blarg have

been underground

for over 50 years.

Could their return

be linked to

the destroyed planets?

I think that's

being a little alarmist,

don't you, Juanita?

Begging your pardon, Captain,

but Drek is responsible.

And his attack today

proves that he is only

getting started.

Now, now!

We must all stay calm.

Everything is under control.

Captain Qwark!

Dallas Wannamaker here.

Does that mean

you'll be asking

these two heroes

to join the Rangers?

Say what now?

Well, I...

I... Well, I...

I don't see why not.

You heard it here, folks!

The search for a new

Galactic Ranger is over!

Aleero City will never forget

the day it was saved by a...

A cat thingy.

How did this happen?

Someone explain it to me!

You!

You're supposed to

understand how they think!

How did you not

see this coming?

And Victor!

Do you know how

many candidates

you beat out

for your position?

I could have hired

the Zeezils Brothers!

It's enough to make me

want to vaporize someone!

We're putting

our project on hold.

I'm ordering all

remaining warbots

to the Deplanetizer

until the heat dies down.

Before we make

any rash decisions,

I wonder if you'd permit me

to troubleshoot this for you.

Go on.

Our question is simple.

How do you destroy

a team of heroes?

Whoa! Whoa!

Well, lots of ways, really.

Chains, knives,

guns, an enormous rock?

Rock...

The answer is "from within!"

If we continue to

fight them with muscle,

we'll lose every time.

But if we turn

one of their own

against them...

Of course,

we'd need a weak link.

A sad simpleton

who'd believe

whatever we tell him.

A corruptible moron.

But who?

Who?

Who?

Hmm.

Ah!

I'm getting an idea, boys!

You're a genius, sir.

I know. I know!

Our training program

usually lasts a full year,

but we've been cleared

to attack Drek Industries

in three days.

That means you two

are getting

the accelerated course.

We're going to be

trained by Brax Lectrus?

The guy's a legend!

I do not suppose you offer

introductory courses

in aviation?

No offense, little guy...

"To the max!"

...but I don't think

flying's really your thing.

Captain Qwark suggested

we put you in

a position a little less...

Dangerous?

Whoa!

Ha! That's right,

LivesAtHome472.

What's the matter?

Don't like getting

your butt kicked?

What are you going to do,

cry to your mommy?

Wait, are you really crying?

Hey, Elaris.

Hi, Brax!

Is that my new assistant?

Greetings.

Your office is most, uh...

Impressive.

Elaris here is

in charge of developing

our gear and providing

tactical support.

Usually it's the former.

The Rangers are the

shoot-first-think-later type.

I'm sorry. I didn't

mean to sound like that.

Like what now?

Come on.

I'll show you around.

Let's go, Cadet.

Time to make you a Ranger.

So, this is the...

Got to keep an eye on them.

Oh. And over here,

over here...

I'll see you in a bit!

We're going to

have so much fun!

Well, good luck.

Welcome, Cadet!

Let's get you into

your new protosuit.

Your protosuit is

the most advanced

combat armor on the market.

And it comes in

all the latest fall colors!

Sweet.

A neural sensor

in your helmet

reads your thoughts

and telequips

the desired weapon

into your hands.

Try equipping

your Combuster.

There you go.

Combuster equipped.

Wicked.

The Combuster

is the backbone

of the Rangers' arsenal,

allowing you to hit targets

in a short to medium range.

Whoa!

This is embarrassing.

The Alpha Disruptor fires

a deadly stream of plasma,

allowing you to hit

multiple targets at once.

Whoa!

See? He's got it.

Sort of.

This little baby's

the Negotiator.

Fires multiple long-range,

high-impact rockets.

Great versus heavy armor.

Buzz Blades!

Hey, hey, hey!

No, no, no!

Whoa!

The Warmonger.

Ah!

- I dunno.

- The Spiral of Death?

Whoa!

Fusion Grenade?

Wow.

Dude.

How am I doing?

So this is

really your office?

Eh. Budget cutbacks.

I don't mind it

as much as the last guy

who had this job.

Dr. Nefarious.

Drove him crazy.

Literally. He turned evil.

Oh. But don't worry.

It won't happen to me.

Hmm.

That's strange.

What is it?

I'm running a simulation

based on the fragments

we located from

each destroyed planet.

Each one is missing

a famous landmass.

Well, perhaps the pieces

are still out there.

There is a lot

of space in space.

I guess.

But it's worth

bringing up to the captain,

don't you think?

- Out of the way!

- Hey!

Watch out! Heads up!

Coming through!

Whoa!

Just relax!

Everyone, stay calm!

Something epic is happening!

Pretty cool, huh, Clank?

That's the stuff.

Flying in the air

like a majestic bird,

a majestic bird who knows

every fighting style.

Watch the master.

Captain, Elaris and I...

Can't talk.

...have some information.

Doing a flyby.

Sir! If you could come down

and speak to us

for three minutes...

And there are

the sprinklers.

But, hey, good news!

You already have a mop, huh?

So, there's that.

Please! If we could

have just a minute

to discuss our findings.

The only thing

I'm interested in finding

is the Hall of

Heroes cafeteria.

Let's go, Cadet.

It's three floors up

and it's meatloaf day!

Meatloaf!

Do they always

treat you so poorly?

Oh! No!

Yes.

The new

Galactic Ranger Ratchet

action figure!

There he is!

Guys, it's Ratchet!

Hey-hey!

Ratchet, we love you!

Boy, for a big city,

the people here

sure are friendly.

And rather loud. Oh!

Sorry!

Thought you were a trash can!

Indeed.

Wow. Look at that.

What do you know, Clank?

I'm famous.

Yes. Though I am sure

it is exciting,

my cultural database shows

that fame is highly overrated

and ultimately not rewarding.

Would you agree?

Oh, totally. Way overrated.

Hey, do you think

they'll name

a street after me?

Or a cologne?

"Ratchet.

Smell like a hero."

There he is!

Can I smell you?

Easy, now. There's no rush.

Believe me,

I could do this all day.

Uh?

Sorry, folks,

but, unfortunately,

we don't have time

for this nonsense.

I'm about to reveal

my awesome plan

for the attack on

Drek Industries,

unless, of course,

anyone would

like my autograph.

Good, because

we don't have time.

You the man, Ratchet!

I love you all!

He's taller in person!

Hmm.

All right, Rangers,

our plan of attack is simple.

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