Rebirth

1

[man over radio]

The losses on the value of your 401[k]s

or IRAs in the last few years.

Uh-oh. Looks like the interns

are slacking off again.

Hey, Kyle. What's up?

[woman] The gunman was described

as a loner...

I'm right behind you.

[woman] Jill, let's go.

It's time for school.

Hi, stranger. [chuckles]

Bye. Have fun.

[elevator beeps]

[smooches] Come on. Bye.

So, any big plans this weekend?

[man] F*** you.

F*** you.

[chuckles] F*** you.

Oh, man. F*** you, man.

[man laughing]

- Oh, f***.

- Chad?

Oh, you gotta be f***ing kidding me.

That's so f***ed up.

- Are you Kyle?

- Yeah. Hi.

The front desk says your wife is here.

Some kind of emergency.

Oh, uh, thank you.

[laughing]

Hi. Hey, excuse me.

Did my...? Is my wife here?

My name's Kyle Madison.

Her name's Mary.

She said there might be some...

- I'm right here. It's okay.

- Jesus! Wait.

What the f***, ma...?

Oh, my God. What? Zack?

- Kyle?

- What?

Come here, brother.

- What are you doing? How are you?

- Oh, Jesus.

- Look at that. Fresh-faced.

- Ha-ha-ha.

Wow. This is crazy timing.

Apparently my wife is here

- with some kind of emergency...

- Emergency.

- Okay. Wow.

- Okay. [laughs]

- Right? Come on, I got you out of school.

- Okay.

- Let's go play.

- Oh, Jesus. No, man, I...

[chuckles] Can you hang out in my office

for like ten, 20, 30 minutes?

- I can do ten, 20.

- Okay, come on.

[Kyle] So, how have you been?

What happened to you?

Uh, you know, I've...

I've been. [chuckles]

I mean, you, like, disappeared, man.

Yeah. Well, you know, me and college

didn't really... you know?

But, hey, worked out for you, right?

So, what the heck are you doing here, man?

Oh, I'm here to save your soul.

Amazing. Save it from what?

The zombies.

I mean, like, what is this place?

Uh, it's an office.

Maybe you've heard of them.

Yeah, I've heard of them,

but I mean, like,

what does this office in particular, like,

you know, make?

It's a bank.

Oh, it's a bank? You're a banker?

Uh, no. No, I'm not. I'm the...

I'm a social media coordinator.

- Oh, okay.

- It's actually... It's...

It's actually kind of pretty creative.

Uh...

I get to write on social media

using different personas.

Like, different characters almost

for different...

Okay, for example.

Right now, we're doing

this, um, big Twitter campaign

- for our mortgage division.

- Uh-huh.

Turns out, research says that it's,

you know,

it's super-hard for millennials

to get interested in mortgages

because of the economy and stuff.

And so it's my job to, you know,

appeal to different demographics.

And, you know...

Hey, you still have the Manifesto?

The what?

The Manifesto, man.

Don't tell me you threw it away.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you remember that.

Remember? Dude, I am never gonna forget

the Manifesto as long as...

Hey, what are you doing Saturday?

Uh, jeez. Um...

Saturday, I actually think

I have to come back in. My boss...

- No, you're not. You're coming with me.

- Oh, I wish, man.

- What are you doing?

- What are we doing?

[chuckles] Okay, what are we doing?

[makes muffled noise]

[laughs]

Okay. What does that mean?

Okay. It means, I got into town

this morning, right? To do this...

I mean, I don't know how to...

I mean, to do this really cool thing.

You know? And then suddenly,

I was like, holy sh*t.

Kyle. Kyle!

Kyle lives here. I miss Kyle.

I need Kyle.

And, you know, I think I can get you in.

And it's gonna be amazing,

and we're gonna do it.

[chuckles] We're gonna do what?

We're gonna have, you know, an experience.

[both chuckling]

Oh, no.

[both laughing]

Okay. Okay. What kind of experience?

What kind of experience do you want?

Wow.

- Okay. Um...

- Right?

And when does...?

Or how long does this experience take?

It takes as long you want it to take.

You know what I mean?

No, no, not really.

Well, can you be any less specific?

I cannot. And I will not say another word

until you agree to come.

Oh, man, Zack.

- I missed you, man. [chuckles]

- I missed you, man.

Why couldn't you have given me,

like, any notice?

Kyle, I really want you

to do this with me.

What if I said it was like a workshop?

Like a motivational workshop? Wha...?

Okay.

[phone rings]

Social Media, this is Kyle.

Hey, Chad.

- Yeah.

- Okay, you're coming with me, all right?

It's 100 bucks.

I can front you the money...

I mean, I don't have a credit card.

I don't care about the money. It's...

- [Chad] Yo, Kyle, my man.

- Oh, my...

What about drinks? Sunday night.

What's your number?

- I don't have a number.

- You don't have a number. What?

- What do you mean? You don't...?

- I don't have a number.

- [Chad] Kyle?

- Um...

Okay. Sit down. Sit down, all right?

- And I will be right back.

- Okay.

- Don't go anywhere, okay?

- Okay.

- Hey, Chad. Did you...?

- One sec, bud.

You're f***ing me.

Oh, you are f***ing me.

- Chad?

- Ha-ha!

- You're so f***ing me right now, man.

- All right, I got a friend, but...

Stop it. F*** you.

[Chad laughing]

[Chad] F*** you, man.

You're f***ing killing me.

What'd she say?

[treadmill beeps]

[panting]

What is Rebirth? [chuckles]

Uh, let me tell you about Rebirth.

I think Rebirth,

it's about getting out of your rut.

It's about getting in touch with yourself.

With your body.

[man] We live in

a "one life fits all" culture.

And Rebirth dares you

to find the life for you.

It's fun. It's fast. It's furious.

It's crazy. It's a blast.

[woman 1] People talk about the high

that they get when they climb Everest.

I don't need Everest. I have Rebirth.

[woman 2] I'm the last person

to do something like this.

But Rebirth opened me up to men,

to sensuality.

To experimentation.

[woman 3] My first Rebirth, I didn't go

with anyone. I was all by myself.

And so I was really nervous

and kind of shy and in my shell.

And by the end, I just felt

so much more confident in myself.

And I had had some of the most intense

sensual experiences of my life.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

- You coming to bed?

- Yeah, in a minute.

- What are you doing?

- Oh.

Uh...

Just looking through this old stuff.

Hey, guess who came to work today

out of nowhere. Zack.

Zack who?

You know, Zack. From college.

[chuckles] Oh.

That guy? Was he a student there?

Yeah. What do you mean?

Huh.

- He was wild.

- Yeah, I guess.

So, what'd he want?

Nothing, I mean, you know,

he just wanted to say, "What's up? Hi."

Okay.

Hey, hon?

Hey.

You know how you're always taking

these girls' weekends?

[sighs]

Uh...

Excuse me. Do you know

where everybody went?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Hey, honey, it's me.

Listen, I think you were right.

This thing is kind of dumb.

So, I was thinking

maybe I could take Jill and...

Uh...

Hold... I'm sorry, babe.

Let me call you right back, okay?

I'll call you right back. Love you, bye.

[sighs]

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody in here?

[line rings]

- [woman] 911. What is your emergency?

- No. No, thank you.

[beeping]

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes