Rebound Page #3

I grew up in the mean streets-

the suburbs.

Okay? I had one dream,

and that was to get out...

not end up here

like these losers...

who, I guess,

I would love to give back to.

For such a great coach,

he really doesn't do much, does he?

No.

- There's a game today?

- That's why we're in uniform.

Oh, how the mighty

have fallen.

You don't remember me,

do you?

I applied to be your assistant coach

seven times.

You said that

I was too rigid.

Turns out I wasn't so rigid, I couldn't lead

the Vikings to nine state championships.

Wow. I didn't know middle schools

had state championships.

Well, they do,

and I won them nine times.

Nine times?

Big kudos for ya.

F.Y.I. The only kid you need to look out for

on my team is my son, Larry Jr.

All right, well,

good luck, man.

You're in my house!

This is my world!

You be in my world now!

No mercy.

- One, two, three.

- No mercy!

Let's get some!

Oh! Way downtown!

Yeah!

One Love is cutting!

One Love is open!

One Love has the ball! One Love is shaking!

One Love is baking!

Aah! My shoe!

Aren't you supposed

to be doing something?

Yeah, I'm thinking about what I'm gonna

eat for lunch. You interested?

- Keith, I'm open!

- One Love is wide open!

- Pass the ball!

- Keith, One Love is open!

Has your kid

ever heard of passin'?

We had position, ref!

Where's the call?

Charge!

Oh! Thank you!

Are you kiddin' me?

That was 10 minutes ago.

Oh.

That's our ref-

"Late" Carl Freedburg.

He's a good guy.

He's a little slow on the whistle, though.

- Keith, pass.

- Time out!

Come on, guys. Huddle up.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Listen, I don't mind you

embarrassin' yourselves...

'cause you're used to it,

okay?

But now, you're startin'

to embarrass me.

- What's your name?

- My name's Keith.

Keith, do you think you can, uh,

try not to turn the ball over?

Guys, I need you to get out there

and go to work, okay?

And try to keep it in single digits.

Let's go, guys. Let's go!

We wouldn't wanna humiliate him.

That's a winning attitude.

- Keith, the ball!

- Hey.

What is he doing?

Two! Four! Six! Eight!

Who do we appreciate?

Smelters!

A hockey-playing dog.

What'll those Canadians think of next?

Speaking of animal lovers...

in a follow-up

to a recent story...

former N.C.B.A. madman Coach

Roy McCormick lost his first game today...

former N.C.B.A. madman Coach

Roy McCormick lost his first game today...

in the cutthroat

middle school division!

I swear to God.

109 to nothing.

For real!

He has to teach the kids fundamentals,

things like which basket is ours.

Yeah, like jump ball means

that your team has gotta jump too.

Look, Roy's gotta do a better job if

he wants to coach again in the N.C.B.A.

It's that simple.

Oh, sh- Oh!

Yeah.

Roy? Fink.

Uh, what the heck

are you doin'?

Hey, man, what's the big deal, okay?

It's middle school. Who cares?

Who cares? That's what I said. But,

you know, Roy, it made all the national news.

And I had some solid job offers lined up,

and now everyone's bailed on us.

Look, nobody wants to hire...

a loser.

Look, you gotta win at least one game

with these kids if you ever wanna work again.

Oh, hi.

Are you Mr. McCormick?

I'm a big fan.

Can I please have your autograph?

Sure thing, young lady.

Thank you.

- Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's my car.

- That was your car.

It was part of your endorsement deal,

and that's been terminated.

Have a great day.

I still think you're great.

I want my old life back.

Ooh!

Huddle up!

Now, I'm gonna

be honest with you.

I can't afford to lose by triple digits again,

or else I'm finished.

So I've decided to teach you how

to play the game of basketball.

Yeah, the concept of dribbling,

passing and scoring, okay?

So playtime is over. And if you

don't like it, the door is right there.

Get back here!

I'm gonna need some help.

Unbelievable.

Give me that!

Get off me, boy! You want some too?

Unbelievable!

- What?

- She started it.

- Shut up!

- Go on. You're comin' with me.

- Look who's in trouble again.

- You got somethin' to say?

Look, these ain't even allowed in school.

Okay?

You a natural.

What's your name?

- Big Mac.

- Big Mac.

- You're comin' with me, all right?

- Oh, no. I'm not- No.

I'm not goin' to detention.

It's more like

a work release program.

All right?

Trust me. Suit up.

Come on.

Come on, Big Mac. Suit up.

Trust me.

Whoa.

Yao Ming, wait up.

- What a dork.

- Sorry.

- Hey-

- Excuse me.

- Can I help you?

- I just wanted to talk to one of your players.

"Players"?

These are my students.

And, no, while Wes is in my class,

you can't speak to him.

I'll come back later, okay?

Look.

Wes is really shy, okay?

And he's not into sports, and he really doesn't

need to be pushed around by your type.

- My type?

- Mm-hmm.

What's my type, since you know me?

What's my type?

A bully.

A stubborn, spoiled,

always-gets-his-way bully.

You're good.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

I'll come back after class.

But I do gotta ask somethin'.

Look, son, you like basketball?

Um, I'm not

very coordinated.

Man, that's perfect.

Nobody else on the team

is coordinated.

So join us, please.

It's perfect.

- You- out!

- Just give me one second.

Thirty seconds, all right?

All right?

Son, do you know what

everybody wants out of life?

- No.

- They wanna be loved.

I love you, because...

you are six feet, man...

with extremely long arms,

you know?

Now, I can't promise you if you join the team

that you're gonna get the girls.

I can't- I can help you, you know,

see where they at...

but I can't help you

get the girls, you know.

And I can't even promise

that you're gonna be a good player.

But what I can guarantee you

is that, uh...

you won't be the butt

of nobody's jokes, son.

- How tall are you, son?

- Six-two.

Six-two?

I'm deeper and deeper

in love!

Wow!

Six-two!

Will you join us?

I, uh-

I have to wear a T-shirt

under my jersey...

'cause my perspiration

gives me dermatitis.

Meet me at the gym at 3:00,

'cause, uh, we practice hard.

I'll be there.

My man. All right.

- Careful.

- Yeah. Thanks.

- I'm watchin' you.

- Thank you.

These here are the new recruits.

This is Wes. You mess with him,

you're gonna have to answer to me.

This is Big Mac.

You mess with her,

well, you're on your own.

Are the Smelters running a drill?

Hey, I think that's the girl

that stole my wife's car.

Don't stare.

Just out of curiosity,

how long you been shootin' hoops?

For a while in juvie.

Well, you're our enforcer,

okay?

Don't mean you gotta fight.

But you got five fouls.

Don't be afraid

to use 'em.

- I don't mind fightin'.

- I'm sure.

But you have good hands,

and you have good footwork. Use 'em.

That's not

what I'm talkin' about.

Wes!

Yeah, Coach?

Look, do yourself a favor.

Don't warm up today, all right?

- But I-

- I know. You never, ever played basketball.

But for the next 15 minutes,

that's our little secret, okay?

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