Recep Ivedik 2

---

Grandma!

Who is it?

It's me, your grandson Recep Ivedik.

Password?

Password, uhh... The crops come up to my thigh,

which is a little unfortunate for me...

...since I'd like to show you something

between my groin and knee...

That's last year's password!.

But it's still something

to do with crops, right?

Ummm...,

Before the wheat begins to bud...

...the blind calf... the blind calf...

...the blind calf does not limp!

Ah yes, A blind calf does not limp

before the crops sprout.

Alright alright, let me in!.

F***ing Adriano, Make the pass!

Pissing me off again!

Grandma, maybe instead of playing with Inter...

...better if you chose Manchester...

because they have Rooney.

Oy! You're sitting on

my precious trunk!

Get off!

Get your fat arse off it now!

Get up, get up!

Look, I've brought you

the game you wanted and some flowers.

Come on, why do you

treat me like this?

Why do you always buy me

a bunch of daisies?

...can't you buy a bonsai tree

or a golden coltsfoot?

And where am I supposed to find

a bonsai or a coltsfoot grandma?

You picked these up from the cemetry.

What?

You're breaking my heart!

- Get up from there!

- Take your flowers!

Get up.

Sit there in front of me.

You must never sit

on this trunk.

This trunk, it's what I hold

most precious.

Goddammit, I don't see what's so

precious about it!

You'll see what's in it

when I'm dead, and not before.

This trunk holds nothing of

interest to you anyway.

I forbid you,

and that's that.

I'll die without seeing it.

God, you're such an animal!

I wonder which farm your

parents bought you from.

That's a bit too far.

And no one has any idea what

job you do.

You act like the bigshot

of the neighbourhood.

You beat everyone up.

Everyone complains about you!

You're really bothering me.

Me, I follow a philosophy when it comes to

these matters. Like I always say...

Before the wheat begins to bud

the calf does not limp.

I keep repeating it

so that I can get it into your fat head.

Think about it when you're doing something,

maybe write it on your wall.

Look over there!

Do you know who that is?

That's your grandfather, a wrestler,

a man well-built like a bear.

At the time of Sultan Hamit,

he founded an advertising agency.

And do you know who runs

this agency now?

Hakan, the son of your uncle.

That brat Hakan?

Yes Hakan the brat. You should follow his example.

Why don't you be more like him?.

Grandma, I'm going to

speak frankly.

That wanker Hakan, who can't get it up? I want

nothing to do with him.

I'll never take a share

from that impotent bastard.

Oh, I wish I could finally see you

become somebody.

...if I could see

a nice girl at your side...

When will I see it?

At this rate I'll die without seeing it.

Why, are you gay?

You're a homo?

Listen Grandma,

don't talk so shamelessly.

By God, if you were not my grandmother

I would already have broken your jaw.

You're a bad guy, get lost.

Do you even know

why I called you here?

And why else would you call me?

I'm here now aren't I?

I bought you the game you wanted.

The flowers you wanted.

It's not as though I came empty-handed.

And all you do is yell at me.

I'm asking three things of you.

No more.

Ask away. You always

want something.

You're going to find

a job and work.

Wait wait, let me write this down.

If I don't I'll forget.

May dogs piss on your head!

Come on, make sure you remember what I say.

Tell me.

One, you're going to find a job,

you need to work.

A job, Listen, you're annoying me

with these tales of work.

...you're wasting your time.

Work is not included in

my genes. My DNA is out of order. What can I do?

Two, you're going to get married.

And produce offspring.

'You're going to get married' she says.

It's easy for you to say.

Me too, but for the last

32 years...

I've been using my hand.

I'm bored of it.

Of course

I'd like to have a wife. But how?

Three, you're going to gain respect,

you're going to be a good guy.

I'm going to win respect.

I'm already highly respected,

so that's easy.

In fact, whenever I go out

into the neighbourhood...

...all the people stand up...

straight to attention.

I've told you three things. Don't dare coming back

home without completing them.

Ok, I'll do it.

I'll think of something.

Don't come back here until

you're a somebody. Now get lost!.

Fine, I'll go

do what you want.

I've promised to do it,

but you natter on.

I even bought you a nice little PlayStation

so you can occupy yourself.

Yet you're still on my case,

you don't let me go.

Then why are you still sitting there

like some honoured guest?

Get up, get the f*** out of here!

Oh, you're insults are so painful.

F*** off!

Get out!

Fine, fine.

I'm going.

I will do whatever you want.

You f***ing animal, piss off!

Oh man, where do I begin with this work thing?

God, all I want is to peacefully sit here

in front of this window.

...and quietly watch

the people go by. Now look at me.

I can't do that.

I'll try that.

Hello, I'm calling about your ad.

Where are you located?

Actually, Tuzla is

a bit too far for me.

Can't you come to my house,

in Gngren?

What, how can you say that as a boss?.

...you can't come

to the house of an employee?

Why the hell not? What,

do you hate your employees now?

No, I can't come to Tuzla.F*** you and your job!

Just because a guy gives employment

he expects everyone to come to his feet.

Come here and tell me which job

you're going to give me.

We're looking for a domestic pet.

Hmm, would that fit me?

I am an animal,

but not domesticated.

No my friend.

No chance.

Not at all.

Get lost.

No way.

That's possible.

Hello!

No it's not Ali, I said hello.

I have a lot of experience.

I am an expert in pedicure.

I cut my own toenails.

And then I lick

the parts that are white.

Me, I don't mind.

I've even licked the feet of women.

Who is it that I'm speaking to?

Who are you?

I give up. Who are you?

It's me that called you.

Who are you?

I'll break your face.

Where are you, eh?

Listen, don't insult me.

Otherwise I'll break your mouth.

I'll insult you even more.

[Enraged] Enough words!

Come on then, come to Gngren,if you want some!

Come on then, come to Gngren!

Come to Gngren and you'll see.

Hello, I'm calling about the ad.

I can't do this job,

I can't. Thank you very much.

I called,

but I can't do it, thank you.

I'm calling about your ad. Apparently

you're looking for someone.

Hold on, stop!

Look no further, I am the one

you're looking for my friend.

Good evening.

I come from Copernicus Pizzas.

As it says on my badge

the pizzas are the hottest in the galaxy.

I've brought a copernicus pizza.

Pizza Kopernik, Kopernik, the

hottest pizzas in the galaxy...

Pizza... Pizza...Kopernik.

Okay, okay, I get it.

Give me my order.

Sorry, that's what

they teach us. Here take that.

You've made a good choice.

Congratulations, you're a smart guy.

Give me.

How much does it come to?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes