Reckless Kelly Page #2

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Like Scott of the Antarctic

Base camp too far away

She don't like

That kind of behaviour

She don't like

That kind of behavior...

For a Kelly, getting shot

was an occupational hazard.

But I guess over the years

we must have developed

some sort of natural tolerance.

Unfortunately, I still had to spend

a heck of a lot of time

digging out bullets.

Good morning, ma'am.

How may the bank help you?

I'm taking out a loan.

Oh, my God.

It's the Hollywood Outlaw!

Aah!

Don't kill me.

I've never killed anyone.

I only shoot guns

from the hands of those who would...

Prefer to see me dead.

Now, hand over the money.

I've got some shopping to do.

Freeze, lady!

Stay right where you are!

I regret the day

I let you put a video store here.

All you and that dog ever do

is watch that same dumb movie.

Hey! We were watching that.

I'm getting shot to pieces,

and for what?

We got the biggest turnover

of any bank robbers around

and we still can't afford

to fix the pub.

Using stolen money for our own benefit

would be against every principle

upon which the Kelly Gang

was founded.

Ohh...

Dan was right, of course.

The robbing from the rich

and giving to the poor

wasn't easy like in Robin Hood's day.

I could use help with the stamps.

I used to deposit so much money

in so many people's bank accounts,

we could spend all afternoon

mailing out receipts.

Oh, look.

I been shot in the lung again.

Of course, that was nothing

compared with my dad.

He was still listed

in the guinness book of world records

as the world's most

frequently shot human being.

You're very lucky.

You've got your father's

bulletproof constitution.

A little lower, I think, Uncle Dan.

That's it.

OK. Ready?

Yep.

Band-aids.

Ah, thanks.

Whew!

I gotta do something

about getting shot all the time.

And there it was--

a bulletproof garbage can.

- Aah!

- Aah!

Come on, Ned. It's happy hour.

Pass the beer.

Hurry up, Ned.

Banks close at 5:00, you know.

Morning, Dog.

Ready?

Corn flakes.

No, fella.

Corn...

flakes.

Corn flakes.

Come on.

Talk.

Keep practicing.

Heh.

Mr. Kelly.

- Yes! - Yes!

- Yes!

We're all Kellys, mate.

You have a letter.

A letter?

A letter?

"The International Trust Bank

"will be acting as Sole

Agent for the sale of...

Reckless Island."

- What?

- What?

According to this document,

our island is going to

be relocated to...

Tokyo Bay, Japan.

What?

I loathe this weather.

I loathe this country.

Quite right, Sir John.

Ah, for a cold, Foggy,

drizzly english morning, eh?

I reckon this flag needs

a slight modification.

What the hell's going on in here?

That's the British flag!

Take it back to Britain.

You're a larrikin, Kelly.

You have absolutely

no respect for authority.

You're not selling our island.

There's obviously an informer

working somewhere in the bank.

Hmm?

Well, they won't be

working here for long.

We've brought in

every birth certificate

of every Kelly who was

born on Reckless Island.

Yeah.

They go back quite a long way.

It proves that the Kellys

have lived there

in one form or another

for at least 40,000 years.

The first person

to land on the island

was an aborigine named Awaba Kelly.

This here's his birth certificate.

So what.

That makes Reckless Island

Kelly Tribal Land.

So us Kellys legally have

first right of purchase.

Fine, but... you'll have to match

the japanese offer of $1 million.

No problem.

Oh, really?

You'll never raise the cash.

Aren't you forgetting something, mate?

The Kelly Gang robs banks.

Yes, but the Kelly Gang

gives all its money to the poor.

Ahem.

We were in deep trouble, all right,

so we headed to the Brewery

to do some thinking.

It was there that I found out

this wasn't the first time

Reckless Island had been under threat.

Legend has it

that it's about an ancient battle

in which the first inhabitants

saved the island

from evil invaders.

No kidding.

It's all part of aboriginal mythology--

you know, Ned-- the dreaming.

I suppose it doesn't make any sense

in the modern world.

If we could make it make sense,

maybe everything that

doesn't make sense

would make sense, eh?

Ah, you do enough dreaming

for everyone around here.

Slept in again, eh?

Yes. He was up all night.

I think he was building something.

Wild thing

You make my heart sing

You make everything groovy

Oh, wild thing, yes

What are you doing with

that can on your head?

I'm going bank robbing.

You go robbing a bank in

that garbage can outfit.

You'll wreck the entire image

of the Kelly Gang.

What are you wearing it for?

So I don't get shot. Aah!

With a bulletproof armor suit,

I can rob a lot of bank real fast

and buy the island back.

Any money the Kelly Gang

gets in this country.

Belongs to the people of this country.

Why don't we rob banks

in another country?

I'm telling you, for an outlaw,

America is the land of opportunity.

Even a little kid knows

that in America

when people rob banks.

They get to keep all

the money themselves.

You've been looking

at too many movies.

Look, there's only one

way to save this island.

It's called Free Enterprise.

Suddenly, I was on

my way to the USA,

home of bank-robbing legends

like Jesse James, Bonnie and Clyde,

and the Hollywood Outlaw.

Uh...

What's the purpose of your

trip to the United States?

Business.

Hold your fire!

Your accountants had hidden talents.

So, what's this big discovery of yours?

Ned Kelly has left the gang

and gone to America.

Why would he go there?

Money.

Yes, of course.

He's out of steal the million dollars

to buy Reckless Island himself.

Now he's all alone

in a foreign country.

Think I'll pay him a visit.

Be careful! You mustn't

use a gun yourself.

We're an International Bank.

We can't afford to be

incriminated in America.

That's right.

I'm a bank executive now.

Does, uh...

that mean I get to fly

in the corporate jet?

"The lion, dying, thrusteth forth his paw

"and wounds the Earth,

"nothing else with rage

to be o'erpowered.

"And wilt thou, pupil-like,

take the correction?

"Mildly kiss the rod

"and fawn on rage with base humility,

which art alive..."

"in the king of beasts?"

"Good night, good night,

parting is such sweet Sorrow."

Sorrow.

Such sweet Sorrow.

"Parting is such sweet Sorrow.

Good night. Good night."

G'day.

What are you doing here?

I'm going to America.

What for?

Rob a few banks.

They say guys who carry guns

have a serious personality deficiency.

Huh?

It's a prop, a tool, a crutch.

If you know anything

about bank robbing,

you'd know you need a gun.

Lucky this seat was empty, eh?

What are you doing up here, anyway?

Actually, I got fired

for trying to save an island.

No kidding.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

Someone from your bank

sent us a copy of a fax which--

It was you.

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Nice pair of dolphins.

Hmm?

Uh, yeah. I think I'll go

back to my book now.

Look, I'm really sorry

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