Reckless Kelly Page #5

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All we need to do now

is get our friend in a public place alone.

Ned, the eyelashes

are a big improvement.

You're looking great.

By the way,

the women want to see

you wearing a mustache.

Don't shoot, mister.

It's only popcorn.

Sorry. I thought you

were going to shoot us.

Ned Kelly, one of these days

you're going to kill

somebody with this thing!

Guns don't solve problems,

they create them.

You don't need a gun.

You're addicted.

You're a gun addict.

I'm not addicted.

I haven't fired a shot all day.

I can give these things

up anytime I want.

Anytime at all.

Feels good.

Ah.

Overstretched and undercapitalized.

Good.

Miss Twisty,

let's send a fax.

A fax?

This fax just came through.

I'm so sorry.

I can't pay you your money.

They've frozen our accounts.

They've foreclosed on all his loans.

They're going to sell us off.

Who's done this?

Our bank, of course.

Bank?

Which bank?

- Aah!

- Aah!

Come on, let's try again.

This is hopeless.

It's solid steel.

Hello?

Hello?

Dog, how are you?

It's Ned.

Slow down.

What are you doing?

Talking to my dog.

Now, listen. Listen to me carefully.

Where is Dan?

Good dog.

Is the dog talking back?

Sort of.

Stop kidding around, Dog.

Where's Dan?

Dog?

Dog?

Hello?

Dog?

Ned, there's a call for you.

Hello?

Just letting you know that

if you're planning a trip home,

you'll need a Japanese Visa

because I'm exporting Reckless Island

tomorrow.

What's wrong?

A bunch of blokes in gray

suits are talking my home.

Organized crime.

It's worse than that.

They're corporate bankers.

Here's your money, Ned.

Holy cow.

Mom's been laundering

the company's money.

I knew that sooner or later,

borrowing all that money

would catch up with you,

so I have been putting aside

a little something each week.

If you guys are broke,

I couldn't take that money.

You must save your wilderness.

Ned, it's yours. You earned it.

Besides, we need much

more than $1 million

to save the studio.

The only way we can stay

in show business now

is to beat that bank.

And no one has ever beaten a bank.

Well, there was a first

time for everything.

That bank was stealing my home.

They'd hurt my friends

and beaten up my dog.

Enough was enough.

You're not coming. It's too dangerous.

Mr. Kelly,

the flight to Australia

is boarding immediately.

Better hurry.

So don't bother arguing anymore.

I'm not arguing anymore.

Will you give me a ticket, please?

You two are traveling together?

- No.

- Yes.

How nice.

Try it again.

Come on. Come on.

There.

All right.

OK, you're all clear.

Thank you.

Have a nice flight.

All right, next, please.

Oh, look,

your fans came to say goodbye.

Hi.

Kelly!

Bon voyage.

Fare time, alien.

I'd like to feel my

finger on your trigger

Oh, yes

I know that nobody

can do to your heart

Oh, yes

Happiness is a warm gun,

yes, it is

Happiness is a warm gun,

yes, it is

It's done.

Two bullets point-blank range.

I'm on my way back.

Good.

That's the last we'll see of Ned Kelly.

Hey, look!

The bullets have hit the cross!

Amen.

My plan was simple.

Give the bank the money

and kick them off the island.

Anyway, I figured Sir John

had to be bluffing.

You can't export an island.

It's impossible.

Charges have been laid

under the ocean and across the spit.

The explosions will fracture

the rock strata beneath the surface,

breaking the island off

from the mainland.

Then an ocean-going tugboat

will simply tow it to Japan.

Won't the island just sink?

Not with the latest Japanese technology.

They've fitted the island

with a series of subsurface stabilizers

to provide it with flotation

during the voyage.

Well, it's really creating

an offshore asset!

- Aah!

- Aah!

Hut-2, hut-2, hut-2, hut-2!

Hut-2, hut-2, hut-2, hut-2!

Hut-2, hut-2, hut-2, hut-2!

Gentlemen, up until now,

the best undeveloped real estate

has been located in the

most remote places on Earth.

Our bank is about to prove

that cheap wilderness can be exported

to the world's most wealthy

industrialized countries.

Aah!

There's heavily armed bankers out

there, and you've given up guns.

What can you do by yourself?

Trust me.

Ned, I might not ever see you again,

so whatever happens, I...

Robin, I know what I'm doing.

Now what?

Yes, the island is yours.

Sayonara!

We're moving!

You've all done an excellent job.

I'd like you to stay on board the island

until it's safety reached

international waters.

Fly me back to the bank.

I'll refuel the helicopter, sir.

It's Ned Kelly!

The island stopped moving!

Aah!

Shoot them both.

Fire!

Inside! Quick!

Ohh!

- Aah!

- Aah!

- Aah!

- Aah!

Aah!

He's ricocheting bullets

with that rubbish bin suit.

Put down your guns

before you kill yourselves.

Ow!

Ned.

The pub's on fire.

Ned's out there, and he's in trouble.

I can feel it.

Wake up, Dan.

You're daydreaming.

You're daydreaming.

You're daydreaming...

Yeah.

Day... dreaming.

Aah!

1...

- Aah!

- Aah!

Aim for his head!

Don't go out. It's suicide.

We can't stay here either.

Let's take all the beer we can carry

and get out the back way.

You're not deserting Ned, are you?

Aim for his legs!

Legs?

We'll finish him off.

Hold fire!

We'll move in and shoot him in the head.

Now!

- Aah!

- Aah!

I quit!

I resign.

My head hurts.

Here's your money.

Now get off our island.

Welcome home.

Aah!

Ha ha!

You business people

don't know when to stop.

Remove your helmet.

Unless you have friends

in Heaven, Kelly,

you're out of luck.

Such is life.

Amen.

It looks like you broke

your dad's record

for getting shot.

Congratulations! Ha ha!

Guns?

Looks like the Kelly

Gang's back in business.

Yeah...

show business.

Oh, faith

You've got to have faith

Oh, faith

You've got to have faith

When you think about it,

what possible reason is there

for a grown man to need a gun?

Captioned by Grantman Brown

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