Red Garters Page #7

that you still intend to--

But, Susana, now that you don't love Rafael,

I haven't got any reason not to fight him.

You mean you won't love me any more?

I'll always love you,

no matter what you do, Reb.

But if you go through with this...

I'll never have anything to do with you

as long as I live.

Susana.

Oh, it's you.

Look, Reb, you've been bad news

ever since you came to town.

Come on, I want to talk to you.

I hope Reb shoots you,

not fatally, but painfully.

Would you really want me to be shot?

If you don't believe me,

give me your gun and start running.

Sheila, such hatred can only be born

of a more tender emotion.

Tender? There's nothing tender

about my feeling for you, Rafael.

It's a feeling that if I said it out loud,

it could get me banned from Boston for life.

Now, I know what's the matter with me.

I've found love.

Love is greater than I thought

It's amazing how I fought

I would laugh at love

Scoff at love

Just too smart to be caught

I was mad to take the chance

Of a life with no romance

Nearly missed the boat

And I quote

This is greater than I thought

Love is such a will-o'-the-wisp

Never stays in one spot

So if you want the thrill-o'-the-wisp

Grab it while it's hot

It was closer than I thought

And my ''No sir'' nearly brought

Years of bitter ache

What a break

I did not make that big mistake

Oh, lover, this is greater than I thought

I was colder than snow

Easy 20 below

Lady Eskimo

I was certainly blah

Looked at love as bourgeois

From my lofty plateau

Days tumbled by pell-mell

And nothing sang in my heart

Then I was saved by the bell

You rang in my heart

Now I know that

Love is such a will-o'-the-wisp

Never stays in one spot

So if you want the thrill-o'-the wisp

Grab it while it's hot

It was closer than I thought

And my ''No sir'' nearly brought

Years of bitter ache

What a break

I did not make that big mistake

Oh, lover, it was later than I thought

And love is greater than I thought

Yes, it's greater than I thought!

You inspire me.

-Tomorrow I will shoot like an angel.

-Oh, no!

-You're not going through with the fight.

-What would you have me do?

Once a man starts to run,

he must keep on running...

and always public opinion on a fast horse

is breathing down his neck.

Something worse is going to be breathing

down your neck, my fantastic darling.

-What is that, my love?

-The militia, that's what!

I'm going to have

my uncle telegraph for them right away.

She doesn't know that the militia

never arrived in time to stop a fight...

in all its history.

But they always arrive in time

to arrest the winner.

What's a few days in the calaboose?

Just long enough for a Boston girl to decide

she doesn't want to nest with a jailbird.

You come with me, I want to talk to you.

Hey, Ginger, I got a great idea.

Let's rope off the street here

and charge these outsiders admission.

I should say not.

This here fight's just as much

a natural resource as Niagara Falls.

It belongs to all the people.

Hey, Buckett,

you're so interested in barbecues...

how come you ain't never done nothing

to promote a little excitement around here...

such as finding out who killed your brother?

Well, it's like everybody says,

I'm a coward, I am.

Make way, I say. Make way!

I shall not tolerate mob rule!

I shall have you all arrested.

What is it, Uncle?

I've just discovered that the telegram

I sent for the militia last night...

didn't get through, but there still may be

time for me personally to summon help.

-Don't try it, Judge. They're dangerous.

-I dare them to stop me.

I dare you ruffians to stop me!

Get out!

What's all this? What's going on?

You missed all the fun, Jason. What a pity.

One of your friends

just tried to kill Judge Winthrop. Yep.

He started for the militia.

Somebody thoughtfully

cracked him in the skull with a rock.

You would have enjoyed it.

He bled all over the place. Profusely.

What.... Howdy, ma'am.

Why do you insist

I enjoy bloodshed, Calaveras?

Maybe you haven't admitted it

even to yourself.

But you'd be happy, wouldn't you,

if both Reb and Rafael were killed?

For what?

Girls. Why should I be?

Because both of them had the extreme

bad taste to beat you to the draw recently.

-Calaveras, are you calling me a coward?

-Not without due deliberation, Jason.

Maybe you're not afraid of a guy

with a gun in his hand...

but you are afraid of public opinion.

You are afraid to try to cheat...

those modern-day Romans

of yours out of their holiday.

You hate me, don't you?

I'm sorry, Judge.

Of course I hate you, you big idiot,

but it's only because I love you so much.

Calaveras, do you really mean that?

I'm a poor, weak woman.

I can't help myself.

Will you marry me?

One of these days, when your conscience

catches up to you, Jason...

an understanding wife

might come in pretty handy...

to keep you from cutting your own throat.

-Calaveras, I asked you will you marry me?

-Yes, doggone it!

Even though I'll hate myself every morning

for the rest of my life.

Thank you.

Where do you think you're going?

I'm going for the militia

and don't nobody try to stop me.

Don't nobody try to stop me!

And you stand still.

Don't go, Jason. It's too late, anyway.

-I'll make it this time.

-No!

Let him go, duck.

He's doing it for those six kids.

Ride, Carberry! Ride!

Tortillas! Tacos! Balloons!

Time!

Ready?

If you don't stop this bloody affair,

I'll have the militia arrest all of you!

Judge, go sit down, will you?

It's the Code of the West.

Sorry.

-How could you do it?

-But I did not intend to shoot him.

I love this man like a brother.

You know what we planned.

-You planned it.

-No, nobody was going to shoot nobody.

When she told me my friend Reb

had decided not to kill me...

Calaveras and I planned a big joke

on these people...

who were so eager to see a man die.

-A joke?

-Yes, it was supposed to be a joke.

And the joke was going to be on all of you.

I wanted to see

the disappointed looks on your faces...

when you realized there wasn't going

to be any bloodshed.

Now the joke's on me.

The show's over.

You can all go home now...

and feel real proud of yourselves.

Hold it!

I said, hold it.

There won't be any dueling here today.

You're a little late, Jason.

The duel is over and poor Reb is dead.

-I'm mighty sorry, Calaveras.

-Me, too.

And that's the man that did it!

And I demand, sir,

that you arrest him immediately.

If you send him to jail, I go, too.

Niece, drop that man!

Hey! Wait a minute there, Judge!

What you all want

to go and arrest Rafael for?

For killing you, of course. Take him away.

The bullet just creased his forehead.

Excuse me. This is something

which I do not understand.

I am shooting at my friend this way...

but the bullet mark on his head,

she's going that way.

My gun, she does not shoot around corners.

Then the bullet could only have come

from one direction.

All right, Jason, now.

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