Red Hook Page #3

HOW YOUR MOUTH FELL OPEN

WHEN SHE CAUGHT YOUR...

(cell phone rings)

EYE:

WEARIN' JEANS

JUST TIGHT ENOUGH

SO YOU CAN SEE:

WHAT'S SHAPIN' THEM INSIDE

WHAT'S UP?

HI.

OH, SHE'S GOT YOU BLIND...

HEY.

I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

HEY, THANKS, IT'S

A JOHNNY DEPP PROPS THING.

HERE.

HEY, CAMILLE.

(cell phone rings)

OH, SORRY.

BE RIGHT BACK.

(ring)

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?

OOH, OKAY,

SORRY, EVERYONE.

SORRY. SORRY, EVERYBODY.

SORRY I WAS LATE.

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T STAR WITHOUT ME, BUT IF YOU DID,

I'M SURE SOMEBODY CAN CATCH

ME UP. ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.

WE HAVEN'T STARTED YET.

OH, GOOD. DO YOU WAN TO KNOW WHY I WAS LATE?

NO.

NO.

I TOTALLY STOOD IN LINE

FOR THE OPEN CALL

FOR "SPRING AWAKENING."

OH, WOW, DID YOU GE TO "SING" FOR THEM?

UH, "THAT'S

SO NOT THE POINT."

DOES HE HAVE:

TO BE MY PARTNER?

HE SO DOESN'T GET ME,

AND, P.S., YOU HAVE GO TO MAKE A COSTUME CHANGE

BEFORE YOU'RE GOING TO BE SEEN

ANYWHERE IN THE CITY NEAR ME.

BUT THIS IS:

MY "JOHNNY DEPP"-

IT IS:

UNFORTUNATELY WRONG.

ALL WE'RE MISSING

IS GAVIN AND JENNY.

OH, YEAH, SHE CAME OUT,

UNLIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE WE KNOW.

(giggles)

(imitates

AnGELa's giggle)

HI, GUYS.

(sighs)

WHERE'S GAVIN?

WELL, YOU-YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE.

START WITHOUT HIM.

IT'S FIVE AFTER.

HE SAID:

HE WOULD BE HERE.

IS SHE GONNA FREAK OUT?

OH, NO, SHE DOESN'T FREAK OUT.

SHE IMPLODES.

GUYS, I AM RIGHT HERE.

I'M NOT DEAF.

I'M BACK. LET'S START.

YOU ALL, THIS GAME'S SUPPOSED

TO BRING US CLOSER, OKAY?

YOU KNOW, SORRY, JENNY,

WE GOTTA START.

OKAY, YOU CAN FILL IN GAVIN

WHEN HE GETS HERE, ALL RIGHT?

WELCOME, EVERYONE,

TO THE 12 TO 12

SCAVENGER HUNT.

(cheering)

(speaking indistinctly)

SO ALL OF YOU:

CHECK YOUR CELL PHONES.

YOU SHOULD ALL BE

RECEIVING A MESSAGE

FROM RED HOOK.

(cell phones ringing)

I DON'T HAVE A MESSAGE.

YEAH, I JUS SENT IT TO YOU.

OH, NO,

I MEAN FROM GAVIN.

HE SAID THAT HE WAS

GONNA BE HERE AT NOON,

AND HE'S NOT HERE, SO...

OKAY, WELL,

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

(scoffs) FREAK.

SAVE RED HOOK:

TO YOUR PHONE BOOK.

TRUST ME.

GONNA COME IN VERY HANDY.

NOW EACH OF YOU:

SHOULD HAVE A CLUE,

SOME THE SAME,

SOME DIFFERENT.

YOU MAY INTERSECT ONE ANOTHER,

YOU MAY NOT.

YOU EACH HAVE 12 TO SOLVE.

"WASHINGTON SQUARE ARCH."

THAT'S OUR FIRST CLUE.

SHH!

SO SHE THINKS. WHEN YOU

ACTUALLY FIND OUT THE CLUE,

YOU GO TO A LOCATION

WHERE YOU LOOK FOR AN OBJECT.

A POM-POM?

WAIT, THAT'S-THAT'S NO THE OBJECT IN THE CLUE, IS IT?

LET'S LISTEN, PEOPLE.

YOU THEN HAVE TO TAKE

A PICTURE OF YOURSELF

WITH THE OBJEC AT THE LOCATION

AND THEN SEND I VIA TEXT MESSAGE TO RED HOOK.

I WILL THEN TEXT YOU BACK

WITH YOUR NEXT CLUE TO YOUR NEX LOCATION AND OBJECT AND SO ON.

I MEAN, I DON'T WAN TO GO TO...

GRANT'S TOMB WITHOUT GAVIN.

OKAY, FOR THOSE OF US

WHO ARE GOING TO PLAY,

WHAT'S THE CATCH?

ALL RIGHT,

IT'S 12 TO 12.

THE FIRST TEAM TO GE

TO THE FINAL DESTINATION

BY MIDNIGHT WINS.

WHERE IS THAT?

HE'S NOT GONNA TELL US.

IT'S A SCAVENGER HUNT. WE'RE

SUPPOSED TO FIGURE IT OUT.

I'LL GIVE YOU PAR OF THE ANSWER, OKAY?

FOR ALL OF YOU, YOUR FIRS LOCATION IS IN MANHATTAN.

IT'S NOT FAR FROM CAMPUS,

BUT BY MIDNIGHT TONIGHT,

YOU WILL FIND YOUR WAY

TO A LOCATION:

IN ONE OF:

THE OTHER FOUR BOROUGHS.

THE WINNING TEAM

GETS THE TICKETS.

ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOU A LITTLE FLOOR SPIRIT?

(laughs uncomfortably)

HUH? FLOOR SPIRIT!

FLOOR SPIRIT, COME ON!

COME ON, IT'S ALL PART OF

THE BONDING. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.

ALL RIGHT,

ONE, TWO, THREE...

(all) BREAK!

(laughs)

ALL RIGHT, SERIOUSLY,

WHERE'S YOUR CLOSET?

YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT?

OH... (laughs)

CRAP. I GOTTA

GO PLANT A...

YEAH, LIKE I'M GONNA TELL YOU

WHAT THE CLUE IS.

(cell phone rings)

HI, GAVIN, IT'S JENNY.

UH, I GOT THE FIRST CLUE,

BUT I NEED A NEW YORKER

TO HELP FIGURE IT OUT,

SO COULD YOU CALL ME?

SEE?

I THOUGH YOU SAID PIANO BAR.

UM, I WAS

IN THE RIGHT VICINITY-

THE WEST VILLAGE,

A PIANO AND A BAR.

SO WHAT THE HELL DOES

"SING FOR THE CAMERA" MEAN?

DO YOU PLAY THE PIANO?

DEPENDS.

GIVE ANGELA YOUR PHONE.

OKAY, BUT I HAD

TO DESIGN FIVE WEB SITES

TO AFFORD:

THAT PHONE, SO...

EXACTLY.

TIM KNOWS YOU HAVE A VIDEO

PHONE. SING FOR THE CAMERA.

HI, COULD YOU

DO US A FAVOR?

(sighs)

OH, YAY.

HELLO, NEW YORK.

LIVE FROM THE DUPLEX...

SO, SERIOUSLY, THA PHONE'S REALLY EXPENSIVE.

HOW DO YOU:

USE THIS THING?

(hums)

IS THIS THING ON?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

WITH THIS?

SOME KID CAME BY A WEEK AGO,

TALKED TO THE NIGHT GUY,

CONVINCED HIM:

TO LET OUR PLACE

BE A PAR OF THE SCAVENGER HUNT THING.

NOW WAS THE KID:

REALLY, REALLY CUTE?

A REGULAR BRAD PITT.

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS PICTURED TIM

AS MORE OF AN ADAM BRODY TYPE.

YEAH.

(scoffs) THIS IS SO TIM.

HIT IT.

MM-HMM.

OKAY.

OH, AN INTERNET CAF

IS THE NEXT PLACE

YOU'VE GOTTA SEEK

THERE'S A GIRL

BEHIND THE COUNTER THERE

WHOSE NAME:

IS QUITE UNIQUE:

FIND ASMERET:

IT MIGHT NOT BE EASY,

BUT ASMERET HAS A HINT FOR YOU

SHE'LL HAND YOU A CD

OH, GO ANGELA

AND HIGGINBOTHAM, TOO

GET YOUR ASSES:

OFF THAT STAGE:

AND FIND YOURSELF

ANOTHER CLUE:

(laughs)

OKAY.

ARE YOU COMING?

DON'T FORGET MY PURSE.

(Jenny) HI, IT'S ME AGAIN.

I FEEL LIKE A STALKER.

UM, CALL ME.

WELL, ACTUALLY, DON'T CALL ME.

JUST COME TO MY DORM ROOM.

PAULA AND ROY ARE GONNA WIN

THE SCAVENGER HUNT ANYWAY.

I... (sighs)

I- I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU.

(sighs)

(cell phone rings)

THANK YOU, TIM.

I AM NOT PICKING UP A USED

CONDOM FROM THE GROUND.

UGH, DIRT.

YEAH, BUT THE CLUE SAYS

WE NEED TO FIND:

SOMETHING MADE OF LATEX.

WAIT, I HAVE A CONDOM

IN MY PURSE.

BUT IT HAS TO BE USED.

HMM.

(scoffs)

(knock on door)

(cell phone rings)

(sighs)

WHAT, WHAT?

GAVIN?

TIM?

I TOLD YOU WE WERE

IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

LET'S JUST GET THE CLUE.

TIM SENT THE P.D.F. HERE, SO I SHOULD PRINT OUT BEHIND US.

I KNOW MY WAY AROUND

A NEWSPAPER OFFICE.

I WAS EDITOR.

YEAH, THIS IS

"THE NEW YORK TIMES."

AND WHILE I'M HERE,

WHO CAN I TALK TO

ABOUT AN INTERNSHIP?

(scoffs)

LEAD THE WAY.

UM, NEED HELP?

I GOT IT.

(clears throat)

PAULA, LOOK AT HER.

IT'S CAMILLE.

YOU KNOW, I CAN-

I CAN KINDA SEE WHY

THE FAGS LIKE DOIN' IT HERE.

CHAPPY.

WHAT? I HEARD

ABOUT THIS PLACE.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN, LIKE,

WHY DO THE DUDES DOING DUDES

GET TO BE THE ONLY ONES

WHO GET TO ENJOY THE OUTDOORS?

I DON'T KNOW.

COULD BE KINDA HO DOING IT IN PUBLIC.

YEAH, KNOWING

YOU CAN GET CAUGHT.

AND ARRESTED.

DIRTY.

THE GROUND IS SOFT.

OH, YOU OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.

(clears throat)

SO, UH, WHERE ARE WE-WHERE ARE

WE GONNA FIND A USED CONDOM?

AROUND...

HERE.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THE SOONER WE GET IT,

THE SOONER WE CAN

WIN THOSE TICKETS.

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(giggles)

OH, WHOA, IT LOOKS LIKE

SOMEBODY ELSE HAS BEEN HERE.

GOD, IT'S DIRTY.

(Roy)

THAT'S REALLY CREEPY.

(Paula) YEAH.

TIM IS REALLY GOOD

AT PHOTOSHOP.

"COMING TO A VIDEO STORE

NEAR YOU"?

OH, LOOK, HE PUT OUR NAMES

ON TWO BOOTS.

WHY?

OH, I GET IT.

TWO BOOTS-UH, THE-

THE PIZZA PLACE.

DO I EXIST?

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