Red Shoe Diaries Page #3

If I told my friends that my problem|was not one man, but two,

they'd kick me in the head.

Maybe I should run an ad in the paper:

"Woman out of control seeks clues|to own dark pain and passion.

from other women's experiences.|Willing to pay top dollar

Send diaries to|Red shoes, P.O. BOX...

Whatever".

Come back. Here it comes.|- Did it break? - Not yet.

He's a tough little bastard.

A candy?|- Beautiful, isn't it?

No, no. Unwrap that first.

What's that?|- Atmosphere?

What's that?|- You'll see.

Come on over here. Come on.|- Where are we going?

Just come with me. Sit.

What's this?|- I want to do this right

Okay?|- Okay, go ahead.

It is...

A velvet box.

Marry me, Alex.

Is that a yes or a no?

I think I had too much to|drink this afternoon.

You wanna talk about it?

Jake, I know you think you|know everything about me,

but there's so much you don't know.

Like what?|- Like...

When I was a kid I was so screwed up|I listened to myself breathe at night

because I thought if I didn't I|wouldn't wake up in the morning.

I used to bang my head against|the wall untill it hurt.

It was like I just|couldn't stop myself.

I just|couldn't stop myself.

All kids feel like that|from time to time.

No. I'm talking dark.

So dark it scared the sh*t|out of my parents.

Who? Not your mother.

She took me to all types of|doctors 'cause she...

She thought it was my thyroid,|but it wasn't my thyroid, Jake.

And it just got worse and|she got really scared.

She got so scared because,

it's the only thing|she couldn't control.

I can remember writing this elaborate|will when I was eleven.

And then when I didn't die, I wrote|another one when I was fifteen.

I was so f***ed up.|- Those days are over, baby.

F*** it! I can't even drive a car.

I'm the only person in Los Angeles|who can't drive a car.

Any idiot can drive a car, baby.

It takes a genius to get her|friends to drive her everywhere.

Stop. I don't want to.

That's the thing about life.

If you look at thing hard enough,

long enough, in the harsh|light of the day,

you'll eventually see the flaws.

That's why everything I make|I design with lots of shadows.

The shadows make things beautiful.

Special. Your shadows make|you beautiful, Alex,

I love you.

I want you to marry me.

It was like I was Standing|outside myself,

watching pieces of a puzzle|fall into place.

The whole picture of my life,

all the patterns that keep repeating.

All the same rotten mistakes.

Why when I have a good thing going,|do I always checkmate myself?

What's the matter with you, Rita?

Your boyfriend keeping you up nights?|You look like sh*t!

And one, and two, and three,

and four, and five, and six,

and seven, and eight.

All right, ladies,|that'll be all for today.

So tell me. What's his name?|- Jake, mother. - Jake.

Exactly what kind of|an architect are you?

Hope not one of those conceptual|a**holes spending his life therifing

the utopian environment.

Jake designs skyscrapers.|- Design and build are different things.

He builds them to.

I despise intimidating men.|- Jake's not intimidating.

Is that so? He bamboozled you,|otherwise you wouldn't defend him.

I don't know what she told you, but|her father was a real cocksucker.

You're not one of those passive|aggressive types, are you?

No, I'm just aggressive.

And intimidating.|Are you a good lover?

Oh god.|- Are you attentive!

Patient? Unselfish?|Do you take your time?

Shut the door and|you'll find out.

Hey, wait a minute!

F*** your mother.|She can piss on my head.

I don't care. It doesn't change|what I feel about you.

You've said enough about|my f***ing mother. F*** you.

Look at me.|What are you afraid of?

What?

Don't run away.|What are you afraid of?

Hi, we're not in right now.|Work, work,work.

Leave us a message.

I... If you're there, this is me.

What's going on?|Your office is closed and I...

I miss you.

Can't let him intimidate me.|Can't let him frighten me.

Got to tell him face to face.

If I can't do that, if I can't sit|in a room across from him,

and tell him that it's over,|then I'm not worth sh*t.

Not worth a sh*t.

I'm looking for Tom Butler.|- Yeah. What for?

A letter.|- Right here.

Sign right here for me.|- All right.

Here you go. - All yours.|- Thanks a lot.

Hey, nice boots.|- Thanks.

How you doing?

Where's the shoes?

Worn out.

It's all that running away|you've been doing.

I stopped by your office three|times this week.

Where were you?

I had flu.

And you're better now?|Is that what we are celebrating?

I'm getting married.

I won't be seeing you anymore.

Is this a game?|Are you playing with me?

I know you have my home number.|Please don't use it.

Ever.

Say:
"Please don't use it Tom."|- It's over between us.

It ain't over 'till it's over.|That's just the way it is.

I came here to see you.|To feel you.

To make love to you.

There's no way that I'm gonna|leave here until I do.

Not a chance.

It ain't over 'till it's over.

Make a move.|I'll move faster.

Touch me again|and i'll scream.

Scream then. Get it over with.

Get it over with.

I'll have your clothes ripped off.

I'll be inside you before they|break down the door.

It ain't over 'till it's over.

I'll be like one of those dogs|you see in the park.

They'll have to turn a firehouse|on me to get me off you.

Please don't talk that way.

Why? Does it excite you?

It make me sick.|- Puke then.

But please,|don't leave me.

It's tragic, isn't it?

I thought that if you didn't know me,|you couldn't control me.

Now here I am again.

I'm an open book.

I want you to let me go, Tom.

Say my name again.|I love it when you say my name.

Things have a life and that life|comes to an end.

Sit down. I won't move|if you don't want me to.

I just want to feel you here.

No, not like that. Like this.

Can you feel how much I want you?|- Yes.

Does it feel good?|Do you feel the way it feels?

Yes.

Do you thing that's something|with no life left in it?

Do you think I can|just walk out that door?

When I come I'm only gonna|wanna come again.

That's the way it is.|It ain't over 'till it's over.

I'm gonna kiss you goodbye tonight,

then I'm gonna kiss you hello again|next week.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.|- It feels good, doesn't it?

From now on, Wednesdays are mine.

You're out of control.

Hey, you don't answer|my phone calls!

If you don't come to the door at|least come to the windows.

I need to know what your plans are.

I need to know if you'll ever|come back to work.

Look, what happened to you is|horrible. Nobody can deny that.

But a lot of people put a lot of|money and a lot of faith in us,

and when they ask questions,|they deserve answers.

I'll cover you. Just|give me a date, a time.

A week, a month. Six months,|whatever. I just need to know.

Jake, don't be an a**hole.

Damn!

Hey, where'd you come from?

What can I do for you?

I'm looking for something for|a friend. Very high, very sexy.

Maybe red.|- Yeah. What size?

Seven, seven and a half.|- Okay, I'll see what I got for you.

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