Remember Me Page #3

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This is one of those things

that l'm already regretting.

All right, she was here the other day.

l don't care. What do you want me to say?

"Hey, doll face, your dad trampled

all over my civil liberties.

"You wanna make out with me?"

Don't call her "doll face"!

Moron.

-Look, l'm leaving.

-Would you...

Look. All right, there she is.

-Who?

-The blonde.

l know her. She's...

l don't know her,

but she's in my global politics class.

There you go! Something to open up with.

All right?

Go get her.

Excuse me? Can l bother you for a sec?

You're already bothering me.

Listen, l'm doing

this sociological experiment,

and l was just wondering

if you could help me out for a second.

You're kidding me, right?

Can l ask your name?

Anonymous.

Anonymous. ls that Greek?

Okay, Anonymous,

you see the guy sitting over there,

pretending to read a textbook,

looking in this general direction?

Yeah, he's staring at us. Subtle.

l have this theory that an objective

third party such as yourself

could determine how much of an a**hole

he is just by looking at him.

See, l'm his roommate, and l think

l've witnessed too many glaring examples

of assoholic behavior

that l'm biased as a subject.

But l'm convinced that he has an aura

that you can actually perceive.

Who else do you plan on asking?

l don't know. l don't think anybody else

here fits the criteria.

Attractive, early-twenties female...

-Ah! Nineteen.

-Nineteen. l'm...

That's fine. Teens. l can do teens.

Okay.

Well, typically, you get something

for being involved in one of these surveys.

l ran out of my foam fingers

a while back, so...

l don't know,

can l take you out to dinner or something?

Or maybe just have a conversation

on the off-chance

one of us says something interesting?

Yeah, see, there is a problem, though,

because l don't date sociology majors.

Lucky for you, l'm undecided. So...

About what?

Everything.

l'm Ally.

Ally.

Don't be mad!

Dad, we've seen Ern Brockovich

twice already. You cried both times.

-l did not.

-lt's embarrassing.

-Hello?

-Hello.

-Hey, it's TyIer.

-Hi.

You're gonna stand me up. l can feel it.

l can feel it in my bones.

l'm gonna be devastated.

No, no... l was just...

What? You were sitting around

watching TV in your sweatpants?

No, l'm not watching TV.

l am just getting dressed

and l'm gonna meet you at the place at...

-What time again?

-8:
00.

Right. 8:
1 5. Okay.

-Remind me.

-Ern Brockovich.

Car accident. Not her fault, she says.

Hey, l'm going out.

l can see that.

Well, you are a trained investigator.

-Who are you going with?

-A boy from school.

Okay.

-l wasn't asking for permission.

-l know. Just have a good time.

You want cab fare?

Should l wait up?

What desserts do you have?

Mango ice cream with nuts and raisins.

Great. l'll have that

and a glass of skim milk.

And then the lamb vindaloo. Thanks.

Can l have a chicken tikka masala

and a Kingfisher, please?

l have my dessert first.

Oh!

ls that a political statement?

Or a medical condition, perhaps?

l just don't see the point in waiting.

What if l die eating my vindaloo?

-ls that probable?

-lt's possible.

Embolism bursts,

asteroid hits the restaurant.

l'd die without having eaten

the one thing l wanted most.

-l mean, the odds are...

-Tell you what. Guarantee me,

swear to me on your eternal soul

that l make it through my entre,

and l'll wait.

Before you answer, if l die,

you're gonna have to live

the rest of your life knowing

not only did you lie to me,

but you denied me

of my one last indulgence.

My last wish.

Are you prepared to shoulder

that kind of responsibility to prove a point?

Don't worry. l'll share.

l had a nice time.

Yeah?

You had a nice time,

or you're having a nice time?

'Cause if you're having a nice time,

why rush to end it?

Take a shot. Three for one. $1 .

Okay, come on. Win a prize.

Win a prize for the pretty lady.

Yeah. l want the panda.

TYLER:
How many do you need to get

for the panda?

Three for three.

-Let's go.

-l knew that.

Almost.

Yeah. Give me three more.

lf l give up,

he wins.

-Who? The attendant?

-The giant freaking panda.

Take it easy, tough guy.

l'm sorry. All right, three more. Three more.

Let's do it.

That's another $1 .

Yeah, l don't know

what you're smiling about.

l won.

Paying off the attendant is not winning.

lt's cheating.

By the way, when were you gonna tell me

what the hell happened to your face?

l just got into a bar fight.

Do you want to go for a beer or something?

No, wait, you can't. You're too young.

l'm 21 .

No, you're not. You're...

Did you lie?

-l was trying to get rid of you.

-Oh.

That hurts. l'm wounded.

Well, it's getting pretty late, so...

l'll walk you to the subway.

l'll take a cab.

l never take the subway anyway.

Okay.

-Thanks.

-Yeah.

So...

Uh...

-Not tonight.

-Okay.

Not never, just not tonight.

-Are we going or what?

-Turn on the meter.

"Not never"?

So dessert first, for fear of asteroid, yes,

but kissing a guy

you seem to be attracted to, at least,

before driving off

into the unknown New York City night

alongside a panda you only just met, no?

Great.

Good.

-You're really weird.

-Yeah, l know.

l'm going to Queens.

Don't wanna hear about it.

HeIIo, this is Jackie Mason. BuckIe up...

-Happy end of 6th grade!

-Finally.

l got into that art program summer thing

at Steinhardt.

Yeah, l heard.

lt's very prestigious,

due to my artistic greatness.

Mmm...

Don't pretend you're not proud.

You should be.

-There's, like, a thing.

-A thing?

A show where you show

what you've done and stuff.

Will you come?

Um...

l'll have to check my book.

Abso-freaking-lutely. What, are you insane?

l'm gonna be there the day before.

l'm gonna camp out.

Your school's over, right?

Mom and Les are gonna get

the beach house again?

Yeah.

-What are we gonna do for your birthday?

-Nothing.

-Can we have a party?

-No.

A little one. At Mom's, with Aidan.

-l'll make Mom behave. No crying.

-Like that's even possible.

l know. We live like pigs.

But

l do have a coaster, if you want a coaster.

Don't do coasters till the third date.

Hey, who's that?

That's Michael. That's my brother.

He kind of looks like you.

-Does he play around here?

-Not anymore.

Do you play?

Well, it depends who you ask.

lt turns out that you need talent.

So, what talents

do you actually possess, Tyler?

Not a lot. l, uh...

l used to do a bit of falconry

when l was a kid.

l mean, l come from a long line

of lrish falconers.

No, there is...

Oh!

l don't know if this qualifies

as a talent, but...

-What is that?

-This

is our appetizer.

l mean, it used to say, "ln case ofAsteroid,"

but Aidan, my roommate, got high,

and l was in the shower.

So...

What kind of grade

did you get from Vogelstein?

l don't really get grades.

l'm not technically enrolled.

l just worked out this auditing thing.

Huh.

So the Strand isn't a significant

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