Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins Page #3

you have been stuffing into your belly.

Do you know why

Americans call it fast food?

Because it speeds them

on the way to the grave.

As I feared, you have no sense of humor.

From now on, you will eat rice.

Eat rice and play with my fingerboard.

Great!

Keep it near you at all times.

Hang it on a wall.

How?

Find a nail.

- Good morning, Jim.

- Hi, Doc.

- How're you feeling this morning?

- Hey, never better.

Coach Jenkins came by last night.

He told me

that they're saving my place on the team.

When I'm out of here in a couple of weeks,

I'm going right back on that squad.

What's the matter, Doc?

I'm sorry, Jim. I've got to level with you.

The leg has got to come off.

No!

I was gonna be an all-American.

Well, now...

you can be all-American for courage.

Doctor, does Linda know?

There's something else

I've got to tell you, Jim.

What are you watching?

Your country's

one and only contribution to the art.

It concern family...

Iove, honor, and courage.

All that is noblest in the human spirit.

It's a soap opera, for Christ's sakes.

You'll spoil it.

It's pre-spoiled.

Look, it's 8:
00 and I haven't eaten all day.

One minute to 8:
00.

The trained mind does not need a watch.

Watches are a confidence trick

invented by the Swiss.

You would be better employed

developing your pitiful skills...

than whining about your belly.

Remember, perfection is a road...

- not a destination.

- I love it when you talk like that.

And I would love it if you would

kindly concentrate on your practice.

Keep the weight off your toes.

Every man is occasionally blessed with luck.

Now, down.

My pleasure. Down is easy.

What happened?

You rely on what you know,

not what you see.

What is your problem?

Pathetic.

Come on, it's only water. It won't bite you.

Move it.

I said, move it.

- Everything okay?

- Yeah, sure.

That's it, Damico, hide behind a leaf.

No one will find you there.

Don't just stand there!

Get down there and help Johnson!

Radio the base and get an ambulance

out here, on the double.

Yes, sir.

Hoffa, what the hell are you doing?

Break out your first-aid kit. Now.

About this new weapon, sir.

I want to tell you something.

- It's useless, sir!

- You're way out of line, soldier!

- Sergeant!

- Sir!

Assemble the company.

I want a weapons check.

Yes, sir.

Sergeant, I want your report

on my desk by 16:00!

Sir, we've got over 120 AR-60s

in this company!

You heard what I said. Get to it.

Yes.

General Watson.

Good morning, General.

We've got a problem, George.

I'm sure you can handle it, General.

A soldier's been killed by your new AR-60.

That's what they get paid for.

It blew up in his face.

I've got the report right here on my desk.

There'll have to be an inquiry.

Scott.

Scott, I suggest you lose that report.

I can't do that.

Listen to me, Watson.

Uncle Sam gave you your uniform.

Just about everything else you got from me.

Bury that report.

Thank you, General.

There's too many idiots

like him on the payroll.

Breathe.

Use the air.

Do not waste it.

- Relax.

- Relax.

Will you hang there all day...

or may we continue the exercise, please?

- Jesus.

- Concentrate! This is no time for prayer!

You are not here to sightsee.

That's it, kids. Lady Luck is watching you.

She's got her eyes on you.

She hasn't got all day. She's waiting

for a crap game in Bensonhurst.

Here we are, folks.

Seven hoops a dollar.

Everyone a winner. Sir!

You want to make

your grandchildren happy?

Drop a hoop on a bottle, win a prize...

and you're gonna see

their little faces light up.

And your money back, Gramps.

If you can tell me where you can buy

one of these genuine...

handmade Taiwanese beauties.

Just remember, I won it. He's mine.

So, if you will excuse me,

young Dr. Hastings...

I must get up to the theater and scrub up.

It's a dangerous operation.

It's never been tried before.

I promised that boy he's going to walk,

and he's going to walk!

Don't do it. If you fail,

it could mean a malpractice suit.

Think of your professional reputation.

That boy means more to me than

all of my professional awards combined.

- There's only one thing that worries me.

- What's that?

Whether his stepmother

will permit the operation.

You see...

she's my ex-wife.

Where's Jim?

- You shouldn't be here.

- I said where's Jim?

Miss, I'm sorry. You'll have to leave.

Nobody is going to stop me

from seeing my fianc.

- What did you say?

- Jim and I are engaged.

Tune in at the same time tomorrow...

for our continuing saga

of Beyond the Night.

Brought to you by Continental Airlines,

a new tradition in flying.

Jim is leaving the hospital.

Great.

- He's going to his mother's funeral.

- That's tough.

- But I think the nurse likes him.

- That's good.

However, there seems to be

some complication with the stepmother.

It would be better for you

to eat this can than what is inside of it.

Why must everything in this country

be covered with...

"Monosodium glutamate."

You can't even say it.

I can say "rat droppings."

It does not mean I want to eat them.

Tomorrow, if you work well, you may have

a teaspoon full of honey in your rice.

But I make no promises.

You heard the sound of my flexor tendons

as I squeezed the trigger.

And I saw the flutter of your metacarpals.

Not bad.

That's two bullets. Child's play.

When you can avoid six bullets,

then you will have accomplished something.

No rice.

No rice?

You forgot the rice.

Maybe we can grow some.

Maybe you will spare me

your feeble attempts at humor...

and save them for the shopkeeper

at the corner.

He has excellent Chung-ju rice.

You used the other four yesterday.

I reloaded.

With all due respect to the Major...

at this point in time, Ms. Fleming,

cost overruns are immaterial.

The Air Force cannot evaluate

HARP until HARP flies.

Exactly my point. Mr. Chairman...

if I may be permitted

to ask Mr. Grove a question.

When can we expect to see the HARP?

I can't believe what I'm hearing here today.

I've devoted my life

to developing better ways...

to defend this great country of ours.

I never raised the subject

of your patriotism, Mr. Grove.

I should damn well hope not.

If we could get back to the question at hand.

What about the CD-18, Major?

Three months ahead of schedule

and under budget.

Ready for testing next week.

Mount Promise. I know.

General Watson and I will be there.

I'm impressed. This girl's got a lot of guts.

- Who?

- Major Fleming.

She's the one

who tried to tap into the Grove circuit.

If she's not careful,

she'll wind up with her ass in a sling.

She's coming in to New York.

Maybe you'd better slow her down a bit.

Every time she mentions HARP,

our man Grove begins to get an itch.

I wonder why?

I want that b*tch put on a very short leash.

Should be right up your alley, Stone.

Pick up your feet.

Float.

Float.

Congratulations, Chiun.

Bearing in mind

that nature snubbed him cruelly...

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