Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins Page #4

by denying him Korean birth...

I am not entirely dissatisfied.

- When will he be ready?

- Ahead of time, I think.

Excellent.

That means?

- Fifteen years.

- Fifteen years?

If I cut a few corners, 14 and a half.

Chiun, I need to borrow him for a while.

- Emily, Jim's your son.

- I'm only his stepmother.

But Margaret told me something

just before she died.

What's that?

Jim's your son, too.

Is it painful?

I was singing an old Korean love song.

The race must be practically extinct.

Chiun, do you mind if I ask you something?

- Two more minutes.

- No, I mean...

how old are you? You are old, aren't you?

For an apricot, yes.

For a head of lettuce, even more so.

But for a mountain,

I am not even begun in years.

For a man, I am just right.

Now I know, don't I?

You ever been married?

I am the Master of Sinanju.

No women. Vows of celibacy. Eunuch.

That sort of stuff?

You are trying to say something?

No, just...

What I'm saying is I've been cooped up

in this rat hole for a whole month...

- working my...

- Sex.

Yeah, sex! Now you're cooking.

Maybe it's the breathing and the rice...

Lesson 36.

The 20 steps designed

to bring a woman to sexual ecstasy.

Though I personally have rarely found

it necessary to go beyond seven...

to achieve bliss.

Go on, I'm listening.

With the left hand,

you locate the woman's pulse.

Then, with the middle finger...

and tapping in time with the pulse...

Then what?

Then you may put the rice in the bowl

and we may eat.

What was the number

of the lesson this morning?

Wasn't 36, I know that.

You would call it "four."

I would call it "embarrassing."

You know, Chiun,

there are times when I really like you.

Of course. I am Chiun.

- Then there are times when I could kill you.

- Good!

We will practice that after dinner!

Major Fleming?

Colonel Gayber is expecting you.

Major Fleming, sir.

Hello, Major.

I have the documents you requested.

- Hi.

- Hi.

That's a nice uniform.

Great buttons.

Buttons?

Taxi! Taxi! Oh, hell.

You can never get one when you want one.

Taxi!

Let me do this.

Looks like you got your hands full.

Thanks very much for your help

but I think I'll walk.

- Got a problem, buddy?

- Get out of the way.

Am I keeping you from something?

If you're in a hurry,

all you got to do is say so.

People here in New York have manners.

They don't lean on their horns.

Jesus! Who's your dentist? Tiffany's?

Excuse me. What are you doing to that boy?

Unnecessary use of the horn, Officer.

I'll be unnecessary use of my nightstick

on your thick skull if you don't let him go.

Whatever happened to police courtesy

and that kind of stuff?

We save that bullshit for the

Upper East Side. I'll kick your white ass...

all up and down this street if you don't stop

kung-fuing that man's throat. Move it!

Yes, sir, ma'am. Anything you say.

You're just doing your duty.

I'm just a simple law-abiding citizen, Officer.

I said move it.

I don't like it, George. I don't like it at all.

Have you seen these photos Stone took?

We've got one phony-bird colonel

playing footsies...

with one little Miss Know-lt-All...

who's dodging tails

with one faceless wonder...

who's so anonymous

he doesn't have any record or fingerprints.

They're throwing some secret fraud-squad

at us and we're fishing in the dark.

Obviously, but before I can shut them down

I need to know who they are.

Shake some trees, see who falls out.

Shaken every tree I can find.

Came up empty.

Of course.

You haven't played hard ball,

like we did in Tennessee.

Let's give them a body. See who claims it.

Start with him.

Couldn't we skip this lesson

and move on a bit?

Say, to lesson number 36?

Silence! The Emperor Smith

is disgusted with your progress.

I've told you, he's not an Emperor.

Enough! You are using only a fraction...

of the power in your body and your brain.

Sinanju uses it all.

That is its sole secret...

its only strength.

You are here to conquer

your childish fear of heights.

When you have done so,

we shall meet below...

and start another exercise.

27, 28, 29, 30.

You got it, mister.

No problem.

- Falling off a log.

- I'll take mine now, Frankie.

What are you guys, crazy?

- You got no right up here, mister.

- Authorized personnel only.

- That's to prevent accidents.

- Suicide, that kind of thing.

Look, I'm coming down, all right?

You sure are. The short way.

End of the line, pal.

He's coming your way!

I got him.

Come on, get him now!

I rather enjoyed that.

Yeah. Eight and a half gainer

with a full twist.

Your people did a good job.

All right. Let's get out of here.

Okay, guys. It's Miller time.

I tried to grab him. He must have slipped.

Yeah, I saw that.

He's falling down.

- Terrible.

- It's a tragedy.

What the hell is going on?

Bastard!

He's behind you!

Get him.

Wait, man. I didn't do nothing.

You can't come over here!

- Look out, buddy.

- Who is he?

- No!

- Don't go in there!

That's new cement!

Mac, I could tell you what George Grove

had for lunch every day this month.

But I can't find out

a goddamn thing about HARP.

How do you suppose he managed

that little trick?

Good. I'm glad you're both here. 'Cause

we're gonna straighten something out.

I just spent the morning being chased

around the Statue of Liberty by goons.

What were you doing

on the Statue of Liberty?

Chasing pigeons. It's not the point.

They were trying to kill me.

Who?

A friend of the Tiffany tooth. That's who.

Will somebody tell me

what the hell's going on?

- lf he's onto Remo, he's onto us.

- Who's "he"?

Why don't we take him out

before he gets any closer?

No.

I can't do that.

I need more to go on.

Those guys tried to kill me. You want more?

CURE is not at all interested

in your personal problems.

CURE sucks, whatever CURE is.

Mr. Williams, what we can't do here...

is embarrass the President.

A man named Grove

has discovered your existence.

But before CURE becomes visible...

we must all disappear without a trace.

How do you plan to do that?

Simple.

Harold W. Smith...

Assistant Research Manager,

found dead in his office.

Massive coronary.

I keep this pill in my pocket.

Across town another man is found

in the stockroom of a men's haberdashery...

his head blown off.

Where does that leave me?

It leaves you

and your slant-eyed little buddy. Chiun.

He's got your number.

Should be fast and painless.

Boys, we're not there yet.

But we'd better have a look at HARP

and come up with something pretty soon...

or we will have to vacate this office.

You and I are going to visit

Mr. Grove's plant.

Allegheny, 10:
00, Gate 23.

Don't be late.

There is something you wish to ask.

The answer is yes.

If the Emperor Smith so ordered it...

I would have to kill you.

It is in the contract.

Cliff wants you.

Chiun teach you that?

No.

Anti-personnel mine. Korea.

See you back at the fence.

What lesson number was dogs, Chiun?

Let's see you try to get up here,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes