Renaissance Man

-Yeah

-Whats that

Yeah

Yeah

-Yeah

-Funky, funky

-How bout a big hand now

-Wait-Wait a minute

Groovy, groovy, jazzy, funky

pounce, pounce dance

As we dip in the melodic sea the rhythm

keeps flowing and drips to M.C.

Sweet, sugar pop

sugar pop, roxy pop

You dont stop

til the sweet beat drops

Im showin proof as I stick

and move, every poems recited on top of the groove

Smooth my floatin like a

butterfly, notes that are floatin sung like a lullaby

Brace yourself as the beat hits ya

dip trip, flip fantasia

[ Radio ]

-Yeah

-Whats that

-Biddy-diddy bop

-Yeah

Biddy-diddy bop

Funky, funky

funky, funky

-Would you like another muffin?

-No, thats, uh, fine.

[ Clears Throat ]

Just take one, please.

Ill give you another. They

check in, but they dont check-out. Billy Rago wrote that.

The guy was practically a god in New York.

Worked for all the heavy shops...

before we got him out here,

and Im telling you, we had to beg.

Its got to be the traffic.

Hes always on time.

Have another muffin.

Ill see what I can do.

-[ Man On Radio ] W-E-Z,

Detroit. The Big Wheeze.!

-[ Phone Rings ]

-Yeah?

-Where are you?

Where am I?

Take a look out the window.

Im parked in the middle of Jefferson.

-Ive been here for 20 minutes.

-What?

Its construction everywhere.

Theyre laying down cones.

Hey.! You had to pick today?

These guys are on a 1 0:30 back

to Chicago. Theyre not

the sitting-around types.

Im 500 yards away.

Cant you stall em? Give em a muffin.

Ive been stalling. We talked

about the Bulls three times.

They didnt like the muffins.

-Just put me on the speaker.

-What? No way.

-Ill pitch in on the phone.

Let me talk to these clowns.

-Okay.

Uh, were gonna try

a little modern science here.

We do it all the time.

-Bill, you still with us?

-Uh, yeah. Can they hear me?

Bill, I want you to meet Noah Bradley

and Peter Brosnan of Key Brands.

-Morning.

-Noah. Pete. Good to see ya.

Yeah, Bill, listen,

we really do have a plane to catch.

Hey, guys, I mean, cant you wait

ten minutes? Its not

the last flight out of town.

-Jack, flip up the first panel.

-Bill, I think--

Just flip up the first panel!

Jesus, a lab monkey could do that!

-Okay, now.

-Let me take you to the panels.

When you think of food wrap,

you think of America, baseball, Mom...

apple pie, the old west.

-Speaking of which, you should

be looking at a sheriff.

-[ Together] Yeah.

Yeah, well hes sittin there and

hes got his feet up on the desk, see.

Now, behind him, his jail cell

is covered with Key Brands food wrap.

Right? Now, we got

all this food inside tryin to escape.

We got an actor dressed up as a melon.

One is a wedge of cheese.

Another one is uh, um,

is a, uh, um, um--

-Another one is, uh--

-A sandwich.

Okay. A sandwich. Right.

And the sheriff smiles

into the camera and he says--

Blow it out your butt, tubby!

Thats right, wide load. Im talkin

to you, fatso. You guys arent fat?

Anyway, so the sheriffs lookin

right into the camera and he says...

Partners, theres only one way--

[ Static ]

"Key Brand--"[ Static Continues ]

"... Name that means qual--"

-[ Static ] You get a sheriff like...

-I think were having

a little phone trouble.

-the guy from Gunsmoke.

-Bill, youve gone into cell hell.

[ Woman ]

Hi, Im Joy.

If you want to be dominated, press one.

If you want to discipline me, press two.

-No, thats not Bill.

Weve got some crossover here.

-[ Man ] How many kilos?

Stop it!

Moms will love it. Dadsll love it.

Kids are gonna have shiny badges, boots.

Look, I may lose you in the elevator,

but Ill see you in a couple of seconds.

-[ Elevator Bell Rings ]

-You got me? Hello?

-One, two, three, four--okay.

-Good morning. Shorris-Grey Advertising.

Whoo! Traffic was a--

-[ Panting ] Where are they?

-[ Groans ]

Ill pack up your office.

I kept the boxes we moved in

with. Itll save a few bucks.

-[Jack ] Let me talk to him.

-[ Man ] Tell him to print up

some resumes.

His works slipping. Hes hostile

to clients. I couldnt believe it.!

A six-million-dollar account

and what do you got?

-You got two guys staring

at a speaker phone!

-What was I supposed to do?

You were supposed to be

working with professionals.

-Ive never seen a stunt

like that in my life.

-Paul, look.

The mans had a few personal setbacks

the last couple years.

[ Beeps ]

[ Man ] Yes, this is Evan from

You-Love-To-Rent Furniture.

You love to rent, but apparently,

you dont love to pay.

Our truck will be there at 9::00 a.m.

Thank you. [ Machine Beeps ]

Bill, its Jack. Listen,

Im making a few calls...

but I got to tell ya, you burned

a few bridges out there, pal.

Now, Im gonna try and line up

some freelance stuff next month.

Just stay in touch, okay?

Bye.

[ Machine Beeps ]

Mr. Rago, my names Akeem.

I deliver your Free Press.

You still owe me $ 1 1.50.

[ Machine Beeps ]

Hi, Daddy. Its me, Emily.

Daddy, I know youre probably

still at work, but, uh, listen.

I hate to ask you this, but Mom said

shes broke until next month...

and since you just got that big, new

Key Brands account, I had to ask you.

So, here it goes. Theres an eclipse

coming up in Mexico, and its a big deal.

My whole astronomy club

is going. If we get the ticket

early enough, itll be cheap.

This is really important to me.

I really, really want to go.

There it is. Thanks, Daddy.

[ Machine Beeps ]

[ People Singing ]

-Hey, buddy, you got two bits?

-No.

[ Harmonizing ]

Im flat broke but I dont care

[ Female Clerk ]

How many times I gotta tell you?

-You cant collect unemployment

if you dont look for a job.

-[ Grunts ]

[ Male Clerk ]

If you bring that in, well help you.

-Thank you.

-Next!

[ Exhales, Sighs ]

-You were in advertising, I see. Hmm!

-Yeah.

Princeton?

-Yeah.

-Guess that was before

it went co-ed. [ Laughs ]

My, my, schools like that, you think

theyd teach you how to read.

-Wrong line.

-What?

New claims are the two windows

at the end. You get that

stamped, you come back to me.

What are you, crazy?

Ive been here since 9:00.

So have I. Next!

-[ Female Clerk ] Number 1 25.

-[ Woman ] Okay.

-Youll hear from us. Next!

-Thanks.

You think theres a chance

I could get unemployment

before I get social security?

Have you previously collected benefits?

No. Ive always had a job.

Can you operate any industrial machinery,

farm equipment?

Yeah. That was a required course

in college. Theory of Plowing.

I have all day, Bill.

Now, why dont you tell me what

youd be willing to do?

If you give me a check,

Id be willing to cash it.

Come here.

Come here.

Now, this is your first time here, right?

A man your age. It cant be easy.

Youre humiliated.

Youre frustrated.

I see it on

a hundred peoples faces everyday.

And whether you believe it or not,

I feel for each and every one of em.

Now...

you can either help me help you,

or you can be an a**hole...

in which case

Im gonna make you stand there

until you die and turn to dust.

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