Renaissance Man Page #6

Hmm?

Girly-man.

-[ Class Chuckling ]

-He talkin about you, Benitez.

-[ Benitez ] Youre killin me.

-Okay. So, lets end

the class with, uh...

an oxymoron from Shakespeare himself,

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

If you say so.

-Take it easy, Billy boy. Two times.

-[ Leroy ] Fall in outside.

-Thanks, Mr. Bill. See you tomorrow.

-Hoo-ah.

Thanks, Mr. Rago. That was neat.

-Take care, Bill.

-Take it easy, Rocko.

Im teachin Shakespeare.

[ Chuckles ]

That is, uh,

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

All right.

Readin Hamlet to the double-Ds.

Come on!

-Ive been waitin for this!

-[ Troops Shouting ]

-Beat him down! Lets go!

-Kick his ass!

Come on!

[ Grunts ]

[ Helicopter Passing Overhead ]

-Hey! Hey!

-Huh?

You must be Bill.

-Yeah, thats me.

-Yeah.

-You dont seem to mind them calling

you that. Okay if I do the same, Bill?

-No problem.

Bill, Id appreciate it if youd employ

a bit more discipline in your classroom.

Would that be too much to ask?

I mean, this isnt Harvard yard.

This is a military--

-Whoa, whoa, Lou, take it easy.

-Who the f*** is Lou?

Whats your problem? Im just

walkin here. You got a bug up your ass?

You know what I think, Bill?

I think your whole class thing

is a bunch of bullshit.

-I think youre wastin my time.

-Your time?

-Thats right.

-Its their class. I dont see

you in the class, so lighten up.

Their time is my time, Bill.

Now, I have exactly 54 days

to teach these young kids...

what it takes to save lives

in combat, in combat, Bill!

Now, I dont think

theyre gonna learn that...

writing a bunch of touchy-feely little

papers for the English teacher. No.

Theyre gonna learn that out here

with me! Im gonna be certain of that.

Now, thats my mission, Bill.

And I can handle it cause its my job.

Yeah, well, you do your job

and Ill do mine.

You know what the difference here,

Bill, is? I care about what I do.

[ Troops Continue Shouting ]

Do him, Haywood.

-[ Class Chattering ]

-Lady and gentlemen, its show time!

[ Montgomery ]

Oh, show time at the Apollo.

-Whats this?

-This is Hamlet.

I figured that since we have

to do something, we might as

well do something that I love...

and that you showed

a little bit of interest in, so... here.

-Put your desks in a circle

facing each other.

-[ Chattering ]

You mean you want us

to read this stuff?

Yeah, Benitez, even you could do it.

-Plus, it cost me nine bucks

to run those things off.

-Billy boy, it says here...

""Show me the steep and thorny

way to heaven...

uh, whiles--Willis, like...

the puffed and reckless libertinay.

-Libertine!

-Libertine. Hey, yo.

-You gonna come translate this for us?

-Why? Its in English.

-Uh-uh.

-Now... Roosevelt Hobbs...

-you be Hamlet.

-All right.

Benitez, youre gonna be

Hamlets best friend, Horatio.

-Thats cool, bro.

-Okay, Miranda Myers, you will be...

-Hamlets girlfriend, the fair Ophelia.

-She aint exactly fair.

-Quiet. Melvin!

-[ Hobbs ] Mighty fair to me.

Melvin! Mel.

Melvin, when you wake up,

you will be Polonius, Ophelias father.

-Leroy. Youll be

Ophelias brother, Laertes.

-Right.

-Montgomery, youre the ghost.

-The who?

-The ghost.

-[ Haywood Chuckles ]

You the ghost in the hood.

[ Mimicking Haywood ]

You the ghost in the hood. Goo-ooh.

-[ Blabbering ]

-[ Sighs ]

Haywood...

-youre the king.

-Thank you, Bill.

-Damn, I should have been the king.

-Davis.

You will be Queen Gertrude,

Hamlets mother.

-[ Class Laughing ]

-Sir, isnt that a womans part?

-Alas, Private Davis, we have

but one woman in our class.

-One.

But, sir, Id really prefer

another part.

Relax, Davis.

Youll be reassured to know...

that in Shakespeares day,

all the parts were played by men.

-What?

-Yeah. Thats right.

-Romeo and Juliet were a couple of guys?

-Correctamundo.

Bill, you know as well as I do

a guy playing a girl is plain filthy!

Especially if its gonna be my wife.

-Thats your woman.

-[ Haywood ] Shut up, Leroy.!

Oh, they say Jove laughs.

Oh, gentle Romeo.

""If thou dost love,

pronounce it faithfully.

Or if thou thinkest

I am too quickly won, Ill frown.

And be perverse.

And say thee nay.

So thou wilt woo.

In truth, fair Montague,

I am too fond, and therefore...

thou mayst think my behavior light.

But trust me, gentle man.

Ill prove more true than those

that have more cunning to be strange.

Hmm.

I should have been more strange.

I should have been more strange,

I must confess.

But that thou overheardst,

ere I was ware, my true love passion.

Therefore, pardon me, and not impute

this yielding to light love.

Which the dark night

hath so discovered.

You know, that shade of blue

really brings out your eyes.

-[ Laughing ] See?

-[ Class Laughing ]

-Hoo-ah.

-No problem. All right.

[ Troops Yelling ]

Lets go, ladies. Come on.

-Thats it, Baby Huey. Come on.!

-Move it!

Do not saw the air

too much with your aim thus.

[ Troops Yelling ]

[ Shouting ]

No, no, no, no.

Gimme that.

-You step in and then step in

with the right foot.

-All right, Drill Sergeant.

So, what Hamlets father,

the ghost, is tellin him...

that because he was killed...

poisoned in his sleep

in the afternoon...

with his sins still on his soul...

that he cant get a pass

straight to heaven.

All right, soldiers. Close your eyes

and break the seal of the mask.

-Do it!

-Keep your mouth closed...

-and do not inhale the gas

under any circumstances.

-Drill Sergeant.

Too easy, Drill Sergeant!

[ Coughs, Gagging ]

[ Grunting ]

All right, good, Melvin. See how good

it is when you stay awake?

Hamlets confronted his mother,

and she knows deep down in her soul...

shes gonna have these stains

forever on her soul.

Thats deep, man.

Stains on her soul.

-Way deep. Right?

-Mm-hmm.

[ Troops Shouting ]

Queen Gertrude.

[ Drill Sergeant ] Yeah. Yeah.

Too easy, Hobbs, eh?

Neither... a borrower...

nor a lender bef---before--"

No. For loan oft...

"Ioses both... itself and friend.

"And borrowing...

"dulls the edge of husbandry.

This above all, to...

thine own self be true.

Melvin. All right, Melvin.

Stop. You can say the rest

when you come out of the coma.

Sit down. Look, look.

You gotta, you gotta say it...

to a beat, you know?

-Does anybody play the drums?

-[ Together] Hoo-ah.

-Both of ya?

-Mmm.

Whack this out on the desk.

Bop, bada, bop, bada, bop-bop-bop-bop.

Da, dada, dat,

dada, dat-dat-dat-dat.

Da, dada, dat, dada, dat-dat-dat-dat.

Come on, Haywood, get with it.

Give him time.

Hes a white boy.

Da, dada, dat,

dada, dat-dat-dat-dat.

You see, you say the lines

to the beat. And you--you hear it?

Um, do I hear em

bangin on the desk?

No, this, fool! Bop, bada, bop,

bada, bop-bop-bop-bop.

This above-- Get up.

This above all,

to thine own self be true. Say it.

This above all,

to thine own self be true.

[ Everybody ] This above all,

to thine own self be true.

This above all,

to thine own self be true.

This above all,

to thine own self be true.

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