Reservoir Dogs

---

1 INT. UNCLE BOB'S PANCAKE HOUSE - MORNING

Eight men dressed in BLACK SUITS, sit around a table at a

breakfast cafe. They are MR. WHITE, MR. PINK, MR. BLUE,

MR. BLONDE, MR. ORANGE, MR. BROWN, NICE GUY EDDIE CABOT,

and the big boss, JOE CABOT. Most are finished eating and

are enjoying coffee and conversation. Joe flips through a

small address book. Mr. Pink is telling a long and

involved story about Madonna.

MR. PINK

"Like a Virgin" is all about a

girl who digs a guy with a big

dick. The whole song is a

metaphor for big d*cks.

MR. BLUE

No it's not. It's about a girl

who is very vulnerable and she's

been f***ed over a few times.

Then she meets some guy who's

really sensitive--

MR. PINK

--Whoa...whoa...time out Greenbay.

Tell that bullshit to the

tourists.

JOE:

(looking through his

address book)

Toby...who the f*** is Toby?

Toby...Toby...think...think...

think...

MR. PINK

It's not about a nice girl who

meets a sensitive boy. Now

granted that's what "True Blue" is

about, no argument about that.

MR. ORANGE

Which one is "True Blue?"

NICE GUY EDDIE:

You don't remember "True Blue?"

That was a big ass hit for

Madonna. Sh*t, I don't even

follow this Tops In Pops sh*t, and

I've at least heard of "True

Blue."

MR. ORANGE

Look, a**hole, I didn't say I

ain't heard of it. All I asked

was how does it go? Excuse me

for not being the world's biggest

Madonna fan.

MR. BROWN

I hate Madonna.

MR. BLUE

I like her early stuff. You know,

"Lucky Star," "Borderline" - but

once she got into her "Papa Don't

Preach" phase, I don't know, I

tuned out.

MR. PINK

Hey, f*** all that, I'm

making a point here. You're gonna

make me lose my train

of thought.

JOE:

Oh f***, Toby's that little china

girl.

MR. WHITE

What's that?

JOE:

I found this old address book in a

jacket I ain't worn in a coon's

age. Toby what? What the f***

was her last name?

MR. PINK

Where was I?

MR. ORANGE

You said "True Blue" was about a

nice girl who finds a sensitive

fella. But "Like a Virgin" was a

metaphor for big d*cks.

MR. PINK

Let me tell ya what "Like a

Virgin"'s about. It's about some

cooze who's a regular f***

machine.

I mean all the time, morning, day,

night, afternoon, dick, dick,

dick, dick, dick,

dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,

dick.

MR. BLUE

How many d*cks was that?

MR. WHITE

A lot.

MR. PINK

Then one day she meets a John

Holmes motherf***er, and it's

like, whoa baby. This mother

f***er's like Charles Bronson in

"The Great Escape." He's diggin

tunnels. Now she's gettin this

serious dick action, she's feelin

something she ain't felt since

forever. Pain.

JOE:

Chew? Toby Chew? No.

MR. PINK

It hurts. It hurts her. It

shouldn't hurt. Her p*ssy should

be Bubble-Yum by now. But when

this cat fucks her, it hurts. It

hurts like the first time. The

pain is reminding a f*** machine

what is was like to be a virgin.

Hence, "Like a Virgin."

The fellas crack up.

JOE:

Wong?

MR. PINK

F*** you, wrong. I'm right! What

the f*** do you know about it

anyway? You're still listening to

Jerry-f***ing-Vale.

JOE:

Not wrong, dumb ass, Wong! You

know, like the Chinese name?

Mr. White snatches the address book from Joe's hand. They

fight, but they're not really mad at each other.

MR. WHITE

Give me this f***ing thing.

JOE:

What the f*** do you think you're

doin? Give me my book back!

MR. WHITE

I'm sick of f***in hearin it Joe,

I'll give it back when we leave.

JOE:

Whaddaya mean, give it to me when

we leave, give it back now.

MR. WHITE

For the past fifteen minutes now,

you've just been droning on with

names. "Toby...Toby...Toby...

Toby Wong...Toby Wong...Toby

Chung...f***in Charlie Chan." I

got Madonna's big dick outta my

right ear, and Toby Jap I-don't-

know-what, outta my left.

JOE:

What do you care?

MR. WHITE

When you're annoying as hell, I

care a lot.

JOE:

Give me my book.

MR. WHITE

You gonna put it away?

JOE:

I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do

with it.

Rate this script:3.8 / 9 votes