Reservoir Dogs Page #2

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MR. WHITE

Well, then, I'm afraid I'm gonna

have to keep it.

MR. BLONDE

Joe, you want me to shoot him for

you?

MR. WHITE

Sh*t, you shoot me in a dream, you

better wake up and apologize.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Have you guys been listening to K-

BILLY's super sounds of the

seventies weekend?

MR. PINK

Yeah, it's f***in great isn't it?

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Can you believe the songs they

been playin?

MR. PINK

No, I can't. You know what I

heard the other day? "Heartbeat -

It's Lovebeat," by little Tony

DeFranco and the DeFranco Family.

I haven't heard that since I was

in fifth f***in grade.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

When I was coming down here, I was

playin it. And "The Night the

Lights Went Out in Georgia" came

on. Now I ain't heard that song

since it was big, but when it was

big, I heard it a million-

trillion times. I'm listening to

it this morning, and this was the

first time I ever realized that

the lady singing the song, was the

one who killed Andy.

MR. BLUE

You didn't know Vicki Lawrence

killed the guy?

NICE GUY EDDIE:

I thought the cheatin wife shot

Andy.

MR. BLONDE

They say it in the song.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

I know, I heard it. I musta zoned

out whenever that part came on

before. I thought when she said

that little sister stuff, she was

talkin about her sister- in-law,

the cheatin wife.

JOE:

No, she did it. She killed the

cheatin wife, too.

MR. PINK

You know the part in "Gypsies,

Tramps and Theives," when she says

"Poppa woulda shot his if he knew

what he'd done?" I could never

figure out what he did.

The table laughs. The WAITRESS comes over to the table.

She has the check, and a pot of coffee.

WAITRESS:

Can I get anybody more

coffee.

JOE:

No, we're gonna be hittin it.

I'll take care of the check.

She hands the bill to him.

WAITRESS:

Here ya go. Please pay at the

register, if you wouldn't mind.

JOE:

Sure thing.

WAITRESS:

You guys have a wonderful day.

They all mutter equivalents. She exits and Joe stands up.

JOE:

I'll take care of this, you guys

leave the tip.

(to Mr. White)

And when I come back, I want my

book back.

MR. WHITE

Sorry, it's my book now.

JOE:

Blonde, shoot this piece of sh*t,

will ya?

Mr. Blonde shoots Mr. White with his finger. Mr White

acts shot. Joe exits.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Okay, everybody cough up green for

the little lady.

Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table.

Everybody, that is, except Mr. White.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. WHITE

Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. WHITE

I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

You don't believe in tipping?

MR. PINK

(laughing)

I love this kid, he's a madman,

this guy.

MR. BLONDE

Do you have any idea what these

ladies make? They make sh*t.

MR. WHITE

Don't give me that. She don't

make enough money, she can quit.

Everybody laughs.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

I don't even know a Jew who'd have

the balls to say that. So let's

get this straight. You never ever

tip?

MR. WHITE

I don't tip because society says I

gotta. I tip when somebody

deserves a tip. When somebody

really puts forth an effort, they

deserve a little something extra.

But this tipping automatically,

that sh*t's for the birds. As far

as I'm concerned, they're just

doin their job.

MR. BLUE

Our girl was nice.

MR. WHITE

Our girl was okay. She didn't do

anything special.

MR. BLONDE

What's something special, take ya

in the kitchen and suck your dick?

They all laugh.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

I'd go over twelve percent for

that.

MR. WRITE

Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've

been here a long f***in time, and

she's only filled my cup three

times. When I order coffee, I

want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE

What if she's too busy?

MR. WHITE

The words "too busy" shouldn't be

in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last

thing you need is another cup of

coffee.

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