Reservoir Dogs Page #3

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They all laugh.

MR. WHITE

These ladies aren't starvin to

death. They make minimum wage.

When I worked for minimum wage, I

wasn't lucky enough to have a job

that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE:

Ahh, now we're getting down to it.

It's not just that he's a cheap

bastard--

MR. ORANGE

--It is that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE:

--It is that too. But it's also

he couldn't get a waiter job. You

talk like a pissed off dishwasher:

"F*** those c*nts and their

f***ing tips."

MR. BLONDE

So you don't care that they're

counting on your tip to live?

Mr. White rubs two of his fingers together.

MR. WHITE

Do you know what this is? It's

the world's smallest violin,

playing just for the waitresses.

MR. BLONDE

You don't have any idea what

you're talking about. These

people bust their ass. This

is a hard job.

MR. WHITE

So's working at McDonald's, but

you don't feel the need to tip

them. They're servin ya food, you

should tip em. But no, society

says tip these guys over here, but

not those guys over there. That's

bullshit.

MR. ORANGE

They work harder than the kids at

McDonald's.

MR. WHITE

Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning

fryers.

MR. BROWN

These people are taxed on the tips

they make. When you stiff 'em,

you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE

Waitressing is the number one

occupation for female non-college

graduates in this country. It's

the one jab basically any woman

can get, and make a living on.

The reason is because of tips.

MR. WHITE

F*** all that.

They all laugh.

MR. WHITE

Hey, I'm very sorry that the

government taxes their tips.

That's f***ed up. But that ain't

my fault. it would appear that

waitresses are just one of the

many groups the government fucks

in the ass on a regular basis.

You show me a paper says the

government shouldn't do that, I'll

sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll

vote for it. But what I won't do

is play ball. And this non-

college bullshit you're telling

me, I got two words for that:

"Learn to f***in type." Cause if

you're expecting me to help out

with the rent, you're in for a big

f***in surprise.

MR. ORANGE

He's convinced me. Give me my

dollar back.

Everybody laughs. Joe's comes back to the table.

JOE:

Okay ramblers, let's get to

rambling. Wait a minute, who

didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE

Mr. White.

JOE:

(to Mr. Orange)

Mr. White?

(to Mr. White)

Why?

MR. ORANGE

He don't tip.

JOE:

(to Mr. Orange)

He don't tip?

(to Mr. White)

You don't tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE

He don't believe in it.

JOE:

(to Mr. Orange)

He don't believe in it?

(to Mr. White)

You don't believe in it?

MR. ORANGE

Nope.

JOE:

(to Mr. Orange)

Shut up!

(to Mr. White)

Cough up the buck, ya cheap

bastard, I paid for your goddamn

breakfast.

MR. WHITE

Because you paid for the

breakfast, I'm gonna tip.

Normally I wouldn't.

JOE:

Whatever. Just throw in your

dollar, and let's move.

(to Mr. Blonde)

See what I'm dealing with here.

Infants. I'm f***in dealin with

infants.

The eight men get up to leave. Mr. White's waist is in

the F.G. As he buttons his coat, for a second we see he's

carrying a gun. They exit Uncle Bob's Pancake House,

talking amongst themselves.

2 EXT. UNCLE BOB'S PANCAKE HOUSE - DAY

CREDIT SEQUENCE:

When the credit sequence is finished, we FADE TO BLACK:

Over the BLACK we hear the sound of SOMEONE SCREAMING in

agony.

Under the screaming, we hear the sound of a car HAULING

ASS, through traffic.

Over the screams and the traffic noise, we hear SOMEBODY

ELSE SAY:

SOMEBODY ELSE (OS)

Just hold on buddy boy.

Somebody stops screaming long enough to say:

SOMEBODY (OS)

I'm sorry. I can't believe

she killed me. Who would've

f***in thought that?

CUT TO:

3 INT. GETAWAY GAR (MOVING) - DAY

The Somebody screaming is Mr. Orange. He lies in the

backseat. He's been SHOT in the stomach. BLOOD covers

both him and the backseat.

Mr. White is the Somebody Else. He's behind the wheel of

the getaway car. He's easily doing 80 mph, dodging in and

out of traffic. Though he's driving for his life, he

keeps talking to his wounded passenger in the backseat.

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