Return of the Scarecrow

---

1

[ SOUNDS OF DIGGING ]

[ GRUNTING ]

[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]

[ THUNDER CRACKLING ]

COME ON, MAN.

HURRY UP.

IF YOU IN SUCH A HURRY,

YOU COULD HELP.

[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]

DON'T TELL ME,

YOU SCARED OF THAT THING.

YOU HEARD THE STORIES,

YOU KNOW THE LEGENDS.

MAN, THAT'S ALL THEY IS--

STORIES.

AREN'T WE DIGGIN'

BASED ON STORIES?

YEAH, BUT STORIES OF GOLD

AND FAMILY HEIRLOOMS IS MUCH

MORE BELIEVABLE OVER MONSTERS

AND LIVING SCARECROWS.

[ MUSIC ]

[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]

MAN, GET OFF ME.

[ LAUGHING ]

MAN, LEAVE OFF THAT THING.

COME AND HELP ME.

[ MUSIC ]

[ SNARLING ]

[ GAGGING ]

WHAT WAS THAT, OL' JEFFERS?

YOU GONNA FINALLY HELP?

YOU, SIR,

ARE STARTIN' TO ANNOY--

[ SNARLING ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ GROWLING ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ MUSIC ]

[ SNARLING ]

[ ROCK MUSIC ]

[ ROCK MUSIC ]

[ ROCK MUSIC ]

[ ROCK MUSIC ]

JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A DUMP.

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.

I'VE MISSED THIS PLACE.

GOOD BURGERS.

UGH.

HEY, IT HAS CHARACTER.

I LIKE IT.

YOU WOULD.

YOU'RE TOO SPOILED

BY CITY LIFE, JAN.

IT'S JANELLE.

JAN, JANELLE, WHATEVER.

YOU WANTED TO:

BRING HER ALONG.

SO, YOUR FRIEND,

OR COUSIN, WORKS HERE?

YEAH.

AND THIS GUY, RALPH,

HE KNOWS WHERE WE'RE GOING?

YOU'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE, RIGHT?

YES.

SH*T, ARE YOU WRITING

A BOOK ON THIS TRIP?

HEY, MAYBE.

WHAT, ARE YOU AFRAID THE WORLD'S

GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT?

[ CHUCKLING ]

NO.

YOU'RE SO F***ING ANNOYING.

RUNS IN THE FAMILY.

LET'S GO.

[ CHUCKLING ]

MY MOM AND HER MOM

THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA

TO BRING HER.

LIKE SHE MIGH LOOSEN UP OR SOMETHING.

I DUNNO.

IT'S A PRETTY LONG STICK

UP HER ASS.

[ LAUGHING ]

EXCUSE ME, YOUNG 'UNS?

YOU KIDS,

YOU AIN'T FROM AROUND HERE!

WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?

GOIN' UP IN THE HILLS?

CAMPIN' ARE YA?

YES, SIR.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT, UM--

I THINK WE'RE GONNA

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

BOOZE AND ROCK N' ROLL,

I EXPECT!

IT'S JUST GONNA BE

SOME HARMLESS FUN, MISTER.

HARMLESS?

HA!

OKAY, YOU KIDS GO HAVE SOME FUN.

WHY, I REMEMBER SOME

ADVENTURES UP THERE.

[ CHUCKLING ]

HAD MYSELF SOME LADIES UP THERE,

IF'N YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

TO BE YOUNG AGAIN!

HA HA!

AH...

THAT'S A CRAZY OLD COOT.

[ LAUGHING ]

SURE IS.

RALPH!

HEY MAN, COOL!

YOU'RE HERE.

HEY, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

SURE HAS, MAN.

WOW, FAR OUT.

YEAH, HEY, UH-- YOU REMEMBER,

UH, JANELLE AND CLAIRE?

YEAH, YEAH.

AND THIS IS:

MY COUSIN JOSEPHINE

I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

UH...

HI, I'M RALPH.

JUST JO IS FINE.

OH, UH...

HI, JO.

LET ME SHOW YOU THE PLACE.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

[ FAINT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]

NOT THIS TIME.

THAT'S UNFAIR!

SHE'S MY COUSIN.

AND I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND.

RALPHIE, COULD YOU

GET ME A BEER, PLEASE?

SURE.

[ GLASSES CLINKING ]

OH MY GOSH.

IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

LIKE HELL IT IS, BOY!

THAT'LL COME OUT OF YOUR CHECK.

IT'S ON ME.

AH, DON'T WORRY.

IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

YOU GUYS WANT ONE?

YEAH.

[ BOTTLE OPENING ]

YOU GUYS OFF TO A WILD

WEEKEND UP IN THE HILLS?

YEAH, I WAS, UH--

THINKIN' ABOUT NORTH LAKE.

AND WHO DID I JUS BUY FREE BEERS FOR?

JOSEPHINE.

EVERYBODY CALLS ME JO.

CHARMED.

SHE'S GOT MANNERS, TOO.

I GOTTA GO FINISH

PUTTIN' AWAY THE ORDER.

HEY, I REMEMBER THIS

TROUBLEMAKER FROM YEARS AGO.

YES, SIR.

HEY, IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

I'VE MISSED THIS PLACE.

WE HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE.

EVERY TIME YOU COME UP,

WE'RE HERE.

YEAH?

I SUSPECT YOU FOLKS

ARE HEADED OFF TO SAND LAKE

TO DO SOME CAMPIN'.

NO, ACTUALLY THEY WANNA

GO OVER TO THE OLD ORCHARDS,

BY HARPER LAKE.

YOU DON'T GET YOUR SH*T DONE,

BOY, YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE.

AW, SIR, YOU WOULDN'T TAKE

OUR GUIDE AWAY, WOULD YOU?

CALL ME DOC, DARLIN'.

AND NO, I WOULDN'T.

BUT...

HARPER LAKE, HUH?

IS IT NOT A GOOD SPOT,

DOC, SIR?

IF YOU'RE GOIN',

YOU OUGHTA KNOW.

KNOW WHAT?

THEM ORCHARDS AND LAKE,

THAT WHOLE PATCH IS HAUNTED.

[ LAUGHING ]

OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS.

HE'S JUST TRYING TO SCARE US.

NO, NO, NO.

LISTEN HERE...

THERE'S AN EVIL

IN THOSE REGIONS.

WAKES UP EVERY 30 YEARS OR SO.

AND LET ME GUESS,

IT'S BEEN 30 YEARS?

[ CHUCKLING ]

OR... 15.

FIVE, 15, 30...

DOES IT MATTER?

THIS IS THE YEAR

IT WAKES UP, RIGHT?

WELL, NO.

SO, WHAT'S THE POIN OF WARNING US?

I CAN'T HELP SPINNIN' TALES

TO PRETTY YOUNG GALS LIKE YOU.

OH, THAT MAKES I SO MUCH BETTER.

IT'S A COOL STORY...

IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT.

REALLY GOOD.

REAL GOOD.

CREEPY.

FINE, I'LL BITE.

TELL US THE STORY.

IF YOU INSIST.

I'D INSIS YOU LET RALPH LEAVE.

WHAT'S THE STORY ABOUT?

AN EVIL SCARECROW.

[ ALL LAUGHING ]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

AW, NO.

ARE YOU, UH, TELLIN' THEM

ABOUT THAT OLD THING AGAIN?

I, UH...

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT, UH--

THAT DOESN'T SEEM WISE.

IT'S JUST A STORY, RIGHT?

IT'S A GHOST STORY?

WELL, YEAH, I GUESS.

THEY'VE ALWAYS SAID

THIS AREA'S BEEN CURSED.

WEIRD ACCIDENTS,

STRANGE THINGS HAPPENING.

RALPH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE

IT'S A SCARECROW, DO YOU?

[ CHUCKLING ]

'COURSE HE DOESN'T.

HE'S YOUNG AND DUMB,

JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU ARE.

IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT,

OR TOUCH IT, OR SMELL IT,

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.

[ CHUCKLING ]

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU

ABOUT THE BEGINNING

OF THE CURSE-- OR THE EVIL,

IN THIS REGION.

[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]

IT ALL STARTED JUS BEFORE THE TURN

OF THE LAST CENTURY.

THEY SAY IT WAS A GROUP OF

WITCHES AND WARLOCKS

THAT STARTED IT ALL.

OR THEY SAY IT WAS A GROUP

OF ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENTS

FROM THE OLD ASYLUM

THE NEXT COUNTY OVER.

OKAY, SO WAIT A MINUTE.

WHICH IS IT?

'CAUSE THAT'S, LIKE, TWO

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORIES.

I THOUGHT YOU:

WERE THE NICE ONE.

I'M SORRY.

AW, THAT'S OKAY.

BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW,

IT WAS BOTH.

[ THUNDER RUMBLING ]

LEGEND HAS IT,

THERE WAS A FAMILY OF WITCHES

AND WIZARDS THAT FOUNDED

THIS HERE AREA AND TOWN.

THEY KEPT TO THEMSELVES, MOSTLY,

NOT HARMIN' NO ONE.

ALTHOUGH, THERE WERE RUMORS,

AND PEOPLE WERE AFRAID OF THEM,

OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

SHH!

SORRY.

SHH!!

ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYIN'...

AFTER TIME, FOLKS GOT TO

AVOIDING THEM FOR THE MOST PART.

YOU SEE, THERE WAS A COUSIN,

AND HE WEREN'T QUITE

RIGHT IN THE HEAD.

HE WOULD PRACTICE HIS

INCANTATIONS OPENLY, SO PEOPLE

COULD SEE, SCARIN' PEOPLE.

ONE DAY, THOUGH, HE KIDNAPS

HIMSELF ONE OF THE TOWNSFOLK'S

KIDS, AND HE DOES SOMETHING

TERRIBLE, AND TORTURES

THE POOR KID, AND SACRIFICES HIM

IN A DARK RITUAL.

[ CHILD SCREAMING ]

NO, NO!

[ KNIFE STABBING ]

WELL, THE TOWNSFOLKS

GET ALL STIRRED UP,

AND THEY GO TO THE FAMILY'S

HOUSE AND STORM IT.

THEY GRAB THE COUSIN

AND TWO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS,

AND HAD A QUICK TRIAL.

[ COLLECTIVE ANGRY CHATTER ]

[ GAVEL CLACKING ]

THEY FOUND THEM:

ALL GUILTY, AS THE COUSIN

LAUGHED AND SPAT.

[ EVIL LAUGHTER ]

WELL, THE TOWNSFOLK

HAD THEM ALL COMMITTED

TO THE ASYLUM, WHERE, THROUGH

TREATMENT, THEY WENT MAD.

[ ELECTRICAL ZAPPING ]

[ SCREAMING ]

NOW, THE HEADS OF THE FAMILY

GOT PLENTY ANGRY,

AND THEY WENT TO THE ASYLUM

AND KILLED EVERYONE THERE.

PATIENTS, DOCTORS, ANYONE

AND EVERYONE TO FREE THEIR KIN.

THEY ESCAPED, AND MADE IT BACK

TO THEIR HOMESTEAD.

WHEN THE TOWNSFOLKS FOUND OUT,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes