Return of the Secaucus Seven Page #2

No sh*t, a speechwriter.

So you're gonna be around

here for a while, then.

I came up here with this guy.

-He a senator?

-No, he's not a senator.

I read about all that stuff.

Washington sex scandals,

right? Hey, what do you get?

Twenty, 30,000? Is he old?

If he's over 70, he probably doesn't have

any lead in his pencil. Makes it easier.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-I'm Chip Hollister.

-Pleased to meet you.

You're....

-Ron.

-Very good.

Last name is Desjardins, but I

gotta have another tit to fit it all.

You Irene's old man?

-She's a real sweet girl, let me tell you.

-Ron!

Hey, pump you some?

Gas. Pump gas.

We got your custom-blended,

unleaded, super premium--

No, no, I was just....

Making a deposit, not a withdrawal?

Hey, Irene, is that friend of yours....

-Frances?

-Yeah. Is she gonna be up there?

-Yeah, she'll be there, Ron.

-Far out.

Well, I guess I'll be

seeing you around, then.

Say hi to Mike and Katie.

Nice meeting you, senator.

If you're getting less than

30,000, he's robbing you.

Who's that?

-You got here so fast.

-We hit the beltway at 5:00 this morning.

You're kidding. You must be wiped.

I was too excited to be tired. Katie!

It's nice the senator

gave you the weekend off.

F*** the senator. J.T.

We didn't tell him we were going.

Everybody, this is Chip.

I'm sorry. Everybody, this is Chip.

This is Katie and J.T. and Mike.

-Hi.

-Hi.

So, what do you guys want

first? We got beer, wine, food.

Food. Definitely food.

So, what's the story

with Jeff and Maura?

Some big deal 35th wedding

anniversary for Jeff's parents...

...and all his relatives

from all over the world.

-Living and dead.

-Right. The whole family tree in one place.

Jeff and Maura had to put in an appearance.

And it's in Delaware or something.

They catered the whole state.

I talked to them the other night, they

couldn't get out of it. They said hello.

-They're the teachers, right?

-No, no, that's us.

You know, I can't

imagine you guys teaching.

I mean, is it the same old stuff we got?

Well, I start the year with

the Boston Police Strike.

They let you teach that?

They let you teach anything, so long as you

keep the students from knifing each other.

Okay, class.

-Boston Police Strike.

Very good, Hollister. You'll go far.

Now, who can tell me some of the causes?

-Miss Rosenblum?

-Hostility between the Yankees and the lrish?

-And who was who?

-Was Coolidge governor?

Very good, Frances.

How about you, J.T.?

Boston Police Strike?

I didn't get that far.

-Why not?

-I had practice.

-Do you know any cops, J.T.?

-Sure, my uncle.

Now, what would happen if the Boston

police tried to go on strike tomorrow?

My uncle wouldn't go out.

There's a law against it.

That's to protect the public.

Public safety comes first.

Is that your own opinion or

are you quoting Calvin Coolidge?

-Mr. Dawnly?

-Yes, J.T.

Coach says that you got socialistic

tendencies. Is that right, Mr. Dawnly?

Coach is a running dog imperialist,

J.T. Don't listen to him.

Now, the rest of you.

If the Boston police went on strike

tomorrow, what would White and Dukakis do?

Would there be riots in Southie? It's

Miss Sipriano from the English department.

-Mr. Dawnly?

-Yes, J.T.

Coach says that you and Miss Sipriano are

getting it on. Is that right, Mr. Dawnly?

Coach has a filthy, reactionary

mind, J.T. Don't listen to him.

You guys are too well-behaved. High

school isn't what it used to be.

Yeah. It's mostly discipline.

No matter how jazzed up and

relevant I try to make the history...

...I'm still dealing with a

room full of teenage libido.

-Mr. Dawnly?

-Yes, J.T.

-Get bent, Mr. Dawnly.

-Exactly. Exactly.

Get a couple chickens, spread

some cow flops around...

...it'll be just like The Real McCoys.

-Hey, what's the story on Lacey?

-Speaking of flops.

Her company's in town at the theater. She's

got a big part in whatever they're doing.

She left us comps, so

it's free entertainment.

-That's what she said last time.

-Well it was free, whatever it was.

-What's the play?

-A Restoration comedy.

Well, we can always

say she looked great.

I got it.

If it's Ron, tell him I'm out shopping.

-What's wrong with Ron?

-I saw Ron at the Sunoco station.

He tried to wipe my

windshield with his body.

-That's Ron.

-What's wrong with Ron?

-I thought he worked at Crane and Feeney's.

-They closed.

It was a major career decision whether

he should go with Sunoco or Exxon.

-Hey, what's wrong with Ron?

-Nothing's wrong with Ron.

I like Ron, he's a nice guy. We just

don't have that much in common anymore.

High school was 10 years

ago. I teach high school now.

-You have any kids like Ron?

-More than my share.

I like Ron a lot. He just ought to

get out of this town, that's all.

He went to Boston once this year.

Once. Big snowmobile exhibit.

If we run into him, whatever you

do, don't mention snowmobiles.

-Was it Ron?

-It was Maura.

-Where? Are they coming?

-She and Jeff just broke up.

She just got off the

bus at 6000 Salad Bowls.

-So did he just let you go?

-He wanted me to stay.

That thing with his relatives.

I just couldn't deal with it.

-He's gotta explain

to them-- -He'll live.

At least it'll keep

him from following me.

-Was there something specific?

-I haven't sorted out the reasons yet.

Look, it's been coming for a long

time. It's over. It's gotta be.

They had another one. They didn't have

any comps left but we'll split the price.

-You sure you're okay?

-Better already.

I hope this isn't gonna be weird for everyone.

They're so used to relating to us as a couple.

Come on, everybody wants to see you.

Did J.T. make it?

-I'm so glad you're here.

-It's okay, honey, it's okay.

I wanted to talk to you

before you heard from Jeff.

It's okay now, don't worry about it.

What's a reunion without a little drama?

Lacey moved out to live with some guy...

...and Katie and Maura lived

together until Maura went into VISTA.

She's been doing pretty

well, I think, Lacey.

She's been in some

off-Broadway stuff this year.

-Is she good?

-What do I know about plays?

I saw her here last year, the

same theater company came through.

It's a little theatrical,

you know what I mean?

-You mean, like, stagy?

-Yeah. Sort of.

-It's hard to put it into words.

-She stinks.

Katie's very judgmental.

Then at one time,

Mike and Lacey were....

What? You mean, like,

they lived together?

No, no, no. Nothing that

heavy. It's just that....

Lacey's one of those things that

Katie and Mike don't agree on.

It was way before they were together.

-Maybe we'd better get our seats.

-Hope she's good.

"Lacey Summers returns for her

second year with our company...

...having graced such productions

as Plaza Suite, The Drunkard...

...Midsummer Night's Dream."

She probably played a toadstool.

"Has appeared in several

off-Broadway productions."

That means dinner theater in Yonkers.

"And has

studied under--"

Well, she's done something under those

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