Return of the Secaucus Seven Page #4

Just a little sad.

Do you ever...?

Before, when you knew me....

I can't get this out.

You can't what?

Never mind.

You really going to L.A.?

I think so.

It's time to either sh*t or

get off the pot with my music.

You involved with anybody right now?

Involved?

No.

-You cold?

-No.

I keep thinking about sleeping with you.

I mean, I've never been in this position

before where I'd really consider it.

What I was gonna ask you before

was, did you ever consider...?

I mean, when I was with Jeff.

Did you ever wonder

what it would be like?

Not that you'd make any moves with Jeff

still in the picture or anything, but....

"Uh-huh," what?

J.T., don't make me do all the work.

I'm sorry.

It's just that...

...I don't know if

you're, like, being...

...you know, rhetorical or

if you're making an offer.

You could ask.

-You wanna sleep with me?

-I think so.

Do you wanna sleep with me?

I mean, if things had been different....

I always liked you, it's just

I never considered that we'd--

-I wasn't available.

-Right, right. I always liked you.

So you think we should?

What do you think?

I mean, if it's Jeff, it's

been over for months, really.

Do you think...?

Could we now?

I mean, would you like to?

Is Frances asleep?

She must be.

We have to be quiet.

I like you so much.

I am so excited. My stomach's all tight.

Me too. Never thought

we'd get to do this.

Do you wanna come up

or should I come down?

It's an old couch, you better come down.

It's got me worried.

What?

About us?

We're doing okay.

I know, but....

Everybody breaking up...

-...it makes me nervous.

-Who's everybody?

Just Jeff and Maura.

Jeff and Maura. And Irene and

J.T. And Irene and that Dwight.

And Frances and Bill. And my parents.

I don't think your parents

are good examples of anything.

It just seems like

there's a lot of couples...

...and both sides are really

nice people. I mean....

Well, nobody's an ogre or anything.

And they really seem to like each

other and to care about each other.

But they just can't stay together.

How many people do we know who have

been together for any length of time?

Lots.

Look at all the people

we know at school.

-The Whites. -The Whites are

born-again, they don't count.

-Karen and Dick.

-I mean people we like.

Well, that must be it.

Everybody we like is hard to live with.

I'm serious.

I know.

I'm sorry.

But we're doing okay.

I don't feel any major

catastrophes coming on.

Now, come on down in here and get warm.

I've gotta pee.

-A new record.

-I didn't go.

Somebody's getting it

on in the living room.

On our rug?

-The nerve. Who is it?

-It must be Frances and J.T.

Finally hit pay dirt.

-How long has she been on his case?

-It was pretty obvious last summer.

It was pretty obvious long before that.

J.T. must not be as

light-footed as he used to be.

-J.T. likes Frances.

-J.T. likes women, period.

So Frances qualifies.

Oh, Jesus. I hope Maura's asleep.

That's right.

I wish we had more room.

To have to listen to people

getting it on in her condition.

Well, J.T.'s had years of

living-room-floor experience.

He'll put it on silent

running, like a submarine.

Well, Frances didn't waste her trip.

I can't hold it anymore.

-So go.

-But they're out there.

What, they're gonna notice

you in the throes of passion?

I don't know.

I'll get my referee's

whistle and blow a time-out.

I gotta try it, I'm gonna bust.

Tell me who's winning.

-You're kidding?!

-It had to be.

When I came through the living

room, I got a good look...

...and Frances was still in the corner.

Well, as I live and breathe.

-What did you say to her?

-Nothing.

What do you say?

-"Don't worry about the rug"?

-Turkey.

I think the earth moved for Irene.

Jesus, what did you put in the food?

If anybody's gone vegetarian since

we saw you last, you're out of luck.

I remember one time I ate nothing

but chili and crackers for six days.

No, no. I was hitching

rides from truckers.

Every time they'd offer a meal,

the cheapest thing was always chili.

Such a considerate guest.

Yeah. Well, after about three days, I

was more combustible than considerate.

Liquid propane farts

from coast to coast.

I know those chili

farts. Remember Dwight?

-How could we ever forget?

-Old diesel exhaust himself.

Every time Frances made

eggplant parmesan....

It was like those instructions

for getting gassed at a march:

Put a wet cloth over your

head and don't rub your eyes.

Only he was more of a slow

leaker than an exploder.

Between that and him pissing

orange because of my Gantrisin.

-And being too spaced to remember to flush.

-Or to remember his name.

Good morning, Frances.

You look like you had a rough night.

Over. Good one.

-I got it.

-Good, nice.

-Good.

-Nice.

-I got it.

-Go ahead, J.T., you get it.

-Katie.

-Good one.

Okay, let me try to get it

right the first time through.

Katie and Maura went

to college together.

They were roommates

with Lacey for a while.

I met Katie when I

was going with Lacey...

...but we didn't get

interested till much later.

J.T. and Jeff went

to Cornell together...

...till Jeff dropped out to go into

VISTA, and J.T. just dropped out.

That's right.

Jeff and Maura met in VISTA,

and they were living together...

...when I was in VISTA,

working in Kentucky.

-Was Katie in VISTA?

-No.

But she and Maura stayed good friends,

and that's when I got to know Katie.

-Frances and Irene-- -Were

at Rochester together.

Right, and they lived downstairs from

Katie and me in Boston for a while...

-...which is when she met J.T.

-I know about Irene and J.T.

Who was visiting me because we

met through Jeff in Kentucky.

Now, that was a long

time ago, J.T. and Irene.

-You think you got it straight?

-Yeah. I think so.

-Only who's Jeff?

-Chip!

-Jeff.

-Hi. Ron, right?

Right.

-How you doing?

-Not bad. How are you?

The usual. Fixing cars.

Weekends we go up to the nursing

home, listen to the arteries harden.

You going up to Mike's?

Yeah, I just thought I'd

stop and get some beer.

-Blue laws.

-Oh, sh*t, that's right.

Stupid f***ing state. The bar's open

tonight, though. Last call midnight.

Seen Mike?

Yeah, just once. He just got some gas.

Hey, listen, come over to

the schoolyard this afternoon.

-We'll shoot some hoop.

-Yeah, sure, I'll do that.

-Hey, you still working with junkies?

-The methadone clinic, right.

I used to have an old

Dodge, was a junkie for oil.

I'd get under it every weekend. I'm

fooling with this, fooling with that.

I think I got it fixed, so I take it

out up the mountains. Running beautiful.

Dropped the dipstick, down two quarts.

Yeah, it can be really frustrating work.

Yeah, f***ing a.

Hey, you still with that

actress one, that Laura?

Yeah. That's right.

-All right!

-I got it.

Mine.

Good, good. Good!

-It's not mine.

-I got it, I got it.

-Why don't we ever rotate?

-Good one.

-Rotate?

-Got it.

This is my special back shot.

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