Return of the Secaucus Seven Page #9

-Oh, hey, guilt is your hang-up, not mine.

You had problems, and I had problems.

Sometimes you can solve

them and sometimes you can't.

-Will you stop being so rational?

-I will not stop being rational!

Me and the missis drove from Peoria,

and the guy at the filling station says--

-Jesus, Ron.

-These are the finest accommodations.

-Hi.

-Hi. Look, Ron, we only got two rooms left.

Me and the missis don't need but one.

As long as it got them Magic Fingers.

-It drives the missis wild, them things.

-And you gotta be quiet.

-Where do we register?

See if you can make him behave, okay?

Have room service send up

grease and two bottles of Moxie.

Ron.

What am I supposed to do?

You heard her. How am I

supposed to defend myself?

-I don't think she meant to attack you.

-Didn't mean?

She deliberately waits

until she has an audience...

...strangers included,

and then she hauls off--

-He just won't listen. He never listens.

-It's okay, honey, it had to come out.

-If just once he would admit he was wrong.

-It's okay.

Look, it's hard. She wasn't

expecting to meet you here, Jeff.

What am I supposed to do? Am

I supposed to scream at her?

Hit her back? Tell her

what I think of her? Christ!

Do you mind?

She could have at least left her keys.

They went in her car.

Old Ron.

-Old Frances.

-Yeah.

-You okay?

-I don't know.

-Chip, there's something in the road. Chip!

-I see it, I see it.

Well, it didn't die of natural causes.

You think it was hit by a car?

I don't see any tread marks.

No, no, this baby was taken for a ride.

What do you think we should do?

Look for an all-night game warden?

Did you fellas lose something?

Look, we didn't shoot the

deer. We don't even have a gun.

They think we shot the deer.

How do you know it was shot? No

one said anything about a shooting.

-It might have been knifed.

-Or bludgeoned to death.

-Or strangled with a silk stocking.

-Or slowly poisoned.

-You blew it, you should have clammed up.

-You're taking the fall, kid.

-Just as long as they don't search the car.

-Oh, that's right.

The glove compartment.

"Top aide nabbed in drug

bust. Senator refuses comment."

Give me a break.

And that was for conspiracy

to riot. Charges dropped.

September 12th, '69, for criminal trespass

and resisting arrest. Charges dropped.

December 24th, '69, inciting

to riot. Charges dropped.

August of '70, for libel in

Kentucky. Charges dropped.

Five arrests, all in Kentucky in '71...

...for suspicion of possession

of a controlled substance.

-Charges dropped. Do you want the dates?

-No.

And then March 5th, '73, indicted

for destruction of federal property...

...criminal trespass and

conspiracy. Charges dropped.

-That's it.

-Okay. Next.

Maura Tolliver.

That's M-A-U-R-A.

-Address?

-Same as his.

Previous arrest?

Same as his.

Except for the three days in Washington.

We got separated.

Sit right there and behave

yourself. I have a call to make.

Yes, sir.

About another half-hour till the

vegetables go soft. Then you strain them.

-She don't got a strainer.

-She got a colander?

-You mean that spaghetti thing?

-Right. You can use that to swish it around.

Then you pull out your joints,

put the stock in the fridge...

...till the fat comes up to the top.

-Scoop that off, right?

-Right. Then you reheat the stock.

Say, did you hear about the

break-in up on Deer's End?

-You mean that summer place?

-It must have been kids.

You people together?

We're in for.... What

do you call deer murder?

-Bambicide.

-Right, Bambicide. Right.

And conspiracy to deprive a furry

woodland creature of its civil rights.

Jacking deer, eh?

What's your beef?

-Drunk.

-No.

Drunk.

Second time this week.

Drunk.

-Is that a crime?

-Tourist season it is.

Rest of the year you can lay out

on the sidewalks for all they care.

-You're Dawnly, ain't you?

-Right.

-And you're...?

-Norman Gedes.

I used to referee some when

you played at the school.

What are you doing these days?

Since the Shoe Works went under...

...mostly I been drinking.

Take all of you people to nail one buck?

It was just lying there

with its feet tied together.

Must have been an easy shot, then.

-How many points?

-I didn't count.

-You're not from here, are you?

-No. Just Mike.

Lucky sons of b*tches. I been jacking

deer in these woods all my life.

Never stumbled across

one that was gift-wrapped.

-Norman!

-Coming.

Son, plead self-defense.

It's your only hope.

I remember he refereed

a game drunk once.

He couldn't get his wind to blow the

whistle. It was like a free-for-all.

Hey, you know, we got almost all

the original Secaucus Seven here.

That's right.

-What's that? -An in-joke.

You had to be there.

It was one of the last Washington

marches, and we all ended up going down...

...from Boston in this station wagon.

-Which Jeff borrowed from a friend of his.

-An acquaintance.

-Some dude he thought he knew real well.

-We didn't all know each other that well yet.

It was me and Katie

and Jeff and Maura...

...and J.T. and Irene and--

Frances. Frances was the other one.

We get on the Jersey Turnpike

and we're low on gas...

...so we get off in Secaucus.

-Right where you pick up the Lincoln Tunnel.

-In two seconds we're busted.

Every cop on the Eastern

Seaboard was out...

...trying to pick off pinkos

on their way to Washington.

-The guy looks in the back of our trunk.

-No warrant.

-There's a rifle and an ounce of dope.

-Yeah, right.

The cop says rifle's okay,

right, but that marijuana....

We thought the guy who loaned us the

car was an FBI plant who set us up.

-It turned out he was just stupid.

-So we spend the night in the cooler.

Adjoining cells for men and women.

Segregated from the prisoners.

So we don't poison their minds.

And we get hysterical, calling

ourselves the Secaucus Seven...

...and doing numbers from Jimmy Cagney

and George Raft and-- What was that movie?

-Salt of the Earth.

-Right.

We want the formula.

We want the formula.

-Did you get sentenced?

-No, no.

The turd that busted us must

not have watched Dragnet.

He made such a mess of the

case, the judge threw it out.

He kept the ounce, however.

We want the formula.

We want the formula.

We want the formula.

-You can all go now.

-Don't tell me. Norman confessed.

He took the turn too fast,

and it slid off his hood.

-Where did you dump it?

-What?

The heroin, where did you dump it?

It's in my pocket. I

forgot all about it.

Oh, Christ, Jeff.

-Are you okay?

-I took some aspirin.

I just hope the room doesn't

start spinning when I lie down.

-You guys sure you don't mind?

-No, of course not.

We can talk in the dark

and pretend we're at camp.

If Frances comes back, she can

have the couch in the living room.

If I know Ron, she's not coming back.

Christ, Ron.

What's wrong with Ron?

Ron?

Yeah, Ron. What's wrong with that?

Nothing.

-I mean....

-I didn't even know you then.

I know that.

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