Reunion Page #6

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just in case.

- I thought you loved Laerke.

- I do.

- Then what are you doing with her?

- Thomas, are you coming?

It's a hat-trick, baby.

No, it's a comforter. You're afraid

of losing Laerke if she reads this.

If you love her, then fight for her,

no matter what it says.

Where did you read that?

Some women's magazine?

Not at all. It was something

psycho Karsten said once.

Go find Niels instead.

He's up right after the custard,

so I'm pressed for time.

Knock it off, Niels.

You're drunk.

Where do you wanna do it?

The physics lab?

Drop it, Niels. This party's

tough enough for me as it is.

What's with the negative vibes?

Everyone else

is married and has kids.

I've got nothing to brag about.

If you say yes,

you can brag about nailing me.

Get down here.

This isn't working.

We shouldn't be doing this.

At least I shouldn't.

Guess who?

Simone?

Right.

It's time for the reunion speech -

- given by Niels Boedker,

but Niels isn't here right now.

He didn't do his homework.

Let's hope he didn't get sent

to the principal's office.

That must be the booze talking.

Speech! Speech! Speech!

- Go stall them while I find Niels.

- What?

- Just go improvise.

- I'm not saying anything.

You can do it. Go.

Andreas.

I think everybody remembers you.

Well ...

Well, while we ...

... wait for the speaker

of the evening, Niels ...

... I thought I might

say a few words ...

... about myself and ...

You're horny!

Actually, I'm not. Not really.

But I'm ...

I'm sad, actually.

Hanne and I were married

and really failed at it ...

... so right now I'm thinking ...

... how it would be nice

if somehow we could ...

... succeed at not being married ...

... and being good friends.

And that, of course,

starts with me.

I need to start talking to you ...

... which I haven't ...

But I'm doing it now.

I'll probably never ...

... grow all that fond of

your new boyfriend, Karsten.

But then, I'm not the one

who's gonna have his ...

... well-polished nuts in my mouth.

This is going down hill,

but I'm not the speaker tonight.

If you need a girlfriend,

here's my number.

Give me one last shot. Check this out.

I scraped against the hair.

You could've dyed them blue,

I still wouldn't look.

All right. If you won't,

I'll take second best.

You look amazing,

but that's Big-butt Eva!

- It's just not the same, is it?

- Want me to punch him?

Never mind. He looks like

he's f***ed up already.

If you're looking to feel better about

yourself, don't look in the mirror.

All right, then where

do you want me to look?

What are you doing?

You're up.

I almost have her.

Just wait until she hears the speech.

Holy sh*t ...

"Speech, speech."

I'm going in.

I'll be back. We're not done yet.

- Niels, don't give that speech.

- But it's my lottery ticket.

I know I said that, but I was wrong.

You shouldn't give that speech.

They're gonna beg for an encore.

Niels, don't do it.

- Simone!

- What?

Speech! Speech! Speech!

Sorry, it took me so long -

- but you're not leaving here tonight

without hearing the reunion speech.

It's right here.

Need some glasses?

Never mind.

I know what I want to say.

It's been twenty-five years.

So much has happened.

Of course, had it been thirty years,

even more would have happened.

But it's been twenty-five.

Twenty-five years

have gone by

All right!

There's a song for ya!

I wanna show you something funny.

Check this sh*t out ...

Hello, everybody.

If you think I sound a bit weird ...

Just a moment.

The show must go on.

That's better.

Hanne, show us your ass antlers.

Come on. Please?

Hanne's got a pair of ass antlers.

Come on, Hanne.

Show us your ass antlers.

We all wanna see 'em.

I'll show you my hemorrhoids, then.

It's nothing to be embarrassed about.

It happens when you get older.

It hurts like hell.

And you still need to sh*t,

even though you're over forty.

I'll go start up the car.

Satisfied with your performance?

You know, sometimes you feel

things could have gone much worse.

But they really couldn't,

could they?

I'm really sorry I ...

- Forgive me for ...

- Never mind.

But I'm glad we won't see 'em

for another twenty-five years.

And by then ...

... Lulu's daughter

could have a child of her own.

Christ, I look like sh*t.

But you only reek slightly of puke.

Question:
"What do you turn on to make

a room brighter?" What does it say?

- "Night." Can't you read?

- But, uhm ...

Are you sure? Look again.

Isn't that an L?

Doesn't it say "light"?

Oh yeah.

- Hi, honey.

- Hi.

What's that old fart crap

you've got on your nose?

Can't you see?

Then I guess

you'll have to come closer.

You look pretty amazing

close up, too.

The one with the hemorrhoids ...

I taught him history.

The one on the right ...

I f***ed him once.

Scandinavian Text Service 2011

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